It's the Mess That Feels So Right...

17 voice messages from GABE.

“Hayden, seriously, I think this has gone on for too long. I hope you are safe, and I’m guessing you are at Caleb’s. I’m not going to come looking for you because I know you need to time to think it all through but I really think we need to talk about this, or at least decide what we are going to do about your housing situation. Please call me back.”

Sighing, I closed my phone and chucked it onto the bed beside me, not bothering with the sixteen other messages, knowing they would all be along the lines as the one I heard moments before. The fact that the amount of messages I woke up to find on my phone was decreasing was giving me hope that the message was getting through; I wasn’t ready to talk.

But I knew that if I waited too long, he would go back on his word and search me out, desperate to know where we go to from here. Even William could sense discomfort in my voice when I talked to him for a few minutes after each show, as I listened to his little rambles about odd and mundane happenings on the tour and only offering him short answers. He asked once or twice if there was something wrong, and when I answered with a stiff ‘nothing’, he seemed to drop it straight away, figuring it was just ‘that time of month’, like most men seemed to do.

School, though at times I just could not focus on it to save my life, speed up as Christmas seemed in view, granting me many projects to distract me with, along with Caleb, pulling me out of the house every so often for something silly yet meaningful.

Sometimes just going for a walk around the city, or going to the park, or even dragging me out to buy milk and candy from a nearby dairy, all little things he did to keep me from thinking too much, as well as to get me to open up a little more.

It’s been a week and a half. I guess that’s not too long. In another three days, William would be back and I would have to try and act like everything is normal. But I guess I can do that, I did it to Gabe with the whole William situation. Before I could get lost any further in my thoughts, Caleb came bustling through the door, holding what appeared to be two bowls of steaming noodles.

“Look what I’ve got! Chicken noodles, your favourite if I’m not mistaken!” He announced happily and I smiled, taking a bowl out of his hands gratefully.

“Thank you! I love this stuff,” I said with a grin and watching as Caleb took a large spoonful and shoved it into his mouth, his eyes instantly widening and filling with moisture as he spat the noodles back into the porcelain bowl.

“That was fucking hot!” He said quickly, poking his tongue out as if to cool it that way.

“Thanks for stating the obvious, my dear Caleb,” I said with a laugh and Caleb just poked his burnt tongue in my direction.

“Right, well I guess we better get on with this stupid project,” I mumbled, turning my attention back to the English assignment Caleb and I were supposed to be working on, yet we were the biggest procrastinators we knew of.

“I guess.” Caleb sighed over dramatically, followed by a loud vibrating, signaling the arrival of a phone call. Shooting Caleb an apologetic smile, though he looked happy to be able to get out of the assignment for another five minutes, I picked up the phone and checked caller ID; William.

“Dammit,” I muttered before pulling the phone to my ear. Caleb, who had noodles hanging from his mouth, cocked an eyebrow at me.

“Hello, Will,” I answered, and Caleb’s expression changed, letting me know he understood my sudden want to not answer my phone.

“Hey, babe! How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks. How are you?” The awkward conversation starters really do kill me.

“I’m fine, but just a little confused. I tried to call you at home earlier, and Gabe answered and told me you were staying at Caleb’s for a while. I was just wondering why?”

I floundered around my head for a believable answer. Part of my brain was celebrating that Gabe didn’t let any threads of the secret be exposed, but now I had to lie even further to the man I called my boyfriend. Luckily Caleb had his ear pressed up against the phone and suddenly grabbed the assignment sheet, shoving it into my face.

“Uh, well, we have a massive assignment to do and we left it to the last minute. Yeah, you know what we are like. So we decided that I should stay at Caleb’s so that we would have more time to work on it. And besides, you know how much I love Caleb’s house.” I crossed my fingers and waited for William to speak again.

He laughed. “That I do! Well, you may want to call Gabe, he sounded kind of lonely. But anyway, I shouldn’t keep you from your assignment any longer. Tell Caleb I say hi. Love you, Bee!” William said happily into the phone as I returned the goodbye and hung up.

“Well?”

“William says hi.”

“So the secret is safe?” Caleb asked, his eyes wide.

“Of course, luckily he knows of my love for your house,” I mumbled with a slight smile.

“Phew! Well, I honestly can’t be bothered with this stupid project right now. Wanna procrastinate a bit more?” Caleb offered with a smirk, shoving the papers aside.

I gave him a light smile before moving my gaze to the window. “Actually, do you mind if I just go for a little walk? I need to think some things through.”