Counting Down The Days To Go

“I’m sorry. We tried our very best,” The doctor said rather sadly.

I collapsed onto one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs that almost every hospital seemed to have. No no no no no.

NO!

This can’t be happening. Amanda’s mom focused her gaze on the floor as she continued puffing on her little cancer stick even though the ‘No Smoking’ sign was right in front of her. Amanda’s father patted his wife’s back rather lovingly. I suppose they were biting their lip, trying hard not to smile and let their joy show. This must have been good news to them, but not to me. I was distraught, sad and just plain shocked.

“Can I go in to see her?” I asked. The doctor gave a grim nod before walking off to god-knows-where.

“Do you want to go in with me?” I asked Chanel who was sitting right beside me. I was afraid that it would be too much to handle if I went in alone. She gave a small nod as we went into the hospital room. Isn't it ironic that we, and not Amanda’s parents, were the ones going into the room first. This just showed how much they truly cared.

I walked into the room carefully and rather afraid of what I might see. Amanda’s frail body was lying on the bed with various wires and tubes connecting her to many machines. It looked very complicated and made her seem more fragile and untouchable.

I sat down on one side of Amanda while Chanel sat down on the other. Gently, I picked up her cold hand and started to rub soothing circles on it. It just hurt me to see her so frail and so weak. Where was the spunky girl with the vast amount of energy and the constant squeals?

“Amanda,” I whispered.

Her fingers twitched for a bit and after awhile, her eyelids fluttered open to reveal two very dazed and confused eyes.

“What? Where…? Is this heaven?” Amanda asked in a dopey voice.

I couldn’t help but give a small laugh. “I’m sorry, but no. You’re still alive and kicking. You can’t get away from me that easily.”

“Wh-what about Baby?” Amanda asked.

I averted my eyes away from her. Instead, I looked at Chanel pleadingly. I couldn’t be the one to break the news to her. It would just come out wrongly and…I just couldn't do it.

“Is Baby okay?” Amanda asked again, with a strain in her voice. She was getting panicky. Not good.

“Amanda, why don’t you rest for a bit? We’d talk more in the morning,” Chanel said.

“No!” She cried out. “Answer me!”

“I’m sorry,” Chanel said in an almost inaudible whisper. But Amanda heard her clearly.

“No…no. No!” Amanda choked out. Tears started seeping out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She shook her hand out of my hold and started wiping her face furiously.

“Please tell me it isn’t true,” She bawled out.

“I’m sorry. We found you way too late and by the time you reached the hospital…” I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

I was just a bystander and yet the immense pain that I was feeling could easily make my heart explode with guilt and regret. Why didn’t I find Amanda earlier? The baby could have been safe if only…

“Can I be alone for a bit?” Amanda asked softly.

Chanel and I then crept out of the private hospital room. I scoffed at the way Amanda’s parents used extreme measures to prevent people finding out about their daughter’s pregnancy. I suppose they were gloating with joy at how the unwanted baby had been taken away.

I gave them a lingering, dirty look as I passed the couple who were still huddled together in those uncomfortable plastic chairs.

Some people just didn’t know how precious a life was.