Counting Down The Days To Go

I was absolutely not talking to Aiden ever again. I groaned as images from the night before flooded into my mind. He was being very rough and he somehow managed to get my dress off. But, thanks to my female organs, Aiden got a very rude shock when he peeled off my panties. It turned out that my period just came and after he saw the big spot of blood on my white panties, all thoughts of sex fled his mind.

But the damage was done.

I had trusted Aiden for so many years and here he was, using force to take off my clothes and almost having sex with me! I was sad, disgusted and angry with him. He had no right to peel off my clothes like that and use me as some sex toy to satisfy his needs. After putting on my clothes and running away from a very dazed Aiden, I had tried to go to Chanel for help but her there was a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door knob and faint moans were heard from within the room.

So I had no choice but to spend a sleepless night in my own hotel room, jumping at every little noise and thinking that the worst was going to happen, no thanks to my stupid fear. And not to mention the god-awful stomach cramps that kept jabbing my abdomen! Being a girl was tough.

And now, here I was on my bed at 9 o’clock in the morning. You wouldn’t know how much I had looked forward to day light seeping through the curtains. But now that it was finally morning, I had no idea what I was going to do. Should I go back home? But we had already booked plane tickets for the day after tomorrow and who knows when I’d ever get to come back to this sweet place again. I couldn’t possibly go look for Chanel now as she was probably cuddled up to Jeff and sleeping her hangover away.

I decided to get a shower and maybe go down to the restaurant for some breakfast or something but I must be careful. I wouldn’t want to bump into Aiden or anything. But just as I sat up on my bed, there were three loud knocks on the door.

Who could that be?

As I placed my left eye into the little peep-hole, I came face to face with the person whom I detest the most right now.

Aiden.

“I know you’re in there,” Aiden called through the door.

I decided to remain silent in the hope that he would just go away.

“Come on, Crystal. We need to talk. Could you open up? Please?” He said in a rather pathetic tone. Nah, he’s probably acting and trying to get into my pants again.

“Oh god. Please? Just open the door? I promise I won’t do anything to you. I won’t even touch you or anything,” He said, sounding like he had read my mind.

Again, I didn’t utter a sound.

“Okay, I know you’re there. Listen, I’m really really sorry about last night. I was just…so drunk and you were there and- I don’t know. I’m so sorry,” Aiden said as he ran a hand through his dark hair. “I know I’m not Mike, alright? And I swear to God, I don’t know what came over me. I guess…you don’t want to talk to me, huh?”

“Damn right!” I called back out of instinct. Shit! Now he’d know that I’m in here.

“I’m sorry…I really am,” He said in that sad tone again. But I wasn’t falling for it. He can blame the alcohol for all he wants but I’m sure he knew what he was doing last night. He had heard my screams and felt me pushing him away, but did he stop? No.

“What are you doing?” I heard Chanel ask Aiden. She was occupying the room right across from mine so no doubt, she had heard him wailing away like a baby.

Aiden mumbled some incoherent reply before walking away. I couldn’t really see as the peep-hole could only show me so much. But after Aiden seemingly left, Chanel was knocking on my door gently.

“Crystal? Crystal? It’s me, Chanel.” That was all it took for her to say before I flung open the door and dove on to her, persistent tears spilling out of my eyes. Damn those hormones!

Over a cup of coffee that Chanel ordered through room service, I told her everything that happened the previous night. She was extremely sympathetic and knew when to nod and give me a pat on the back. A fresh wave of tears cascaded down my cheeks as I thought back on how afraid I was last night.

“This wouldn’t have happened if Mike was here,” I said glumly as the realization of how important Mike was hit me full on. I received another pat on the back from Chanel and a sad smile was on her face.

“He never told you why he wanted to break up?” Chanel asked.

I shook my head in response. “He’s just a fucked-up coward.”

“Hmm…as much as I’d like to think that, I really doubt so. I mean, don’t you find it weird? He was making love to you and buying you cute stuff like that charm bracelet,” Chanel said, pointing to the bracelet that still adorned my wrist. “And he suddenly disappears for a while only to come back and tell you that the two of you can’t be together…”

“Weird, huh?” I muttered.

“And the fact that he’s been so pale lately and that he’s been absent from school every so often doesn’t help,” Chanel said with a frown.

I let out a huge sigh before falling back on to my bed.

“What can I do about it? He specifically asked me to leave him alone and he’s just so…confusing,” I said.

“Hmm…then why don’t we do a little investigation? And maybe find out why he’s been so weird and sickly lately?” Chanel asked.

“I don’t know…won’t that seem a little too desperate?”

She gave a shrug and said, “Well, it was just a suggestion. I mean, if you think Mike isn’t worth your pride then you just got to move on.”

‘Move on?’ I thought to myself as a very familiar song began playing in my head.

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

How true. I thought it was love with Mike; and who knew that we would end like this? Who knew that he could inflict such pain on me with the way we broke up? I only spent a few months with him by my side but those were the happy days. Even before we got together officially, I was happy to be spending time and hanging out with him. He made me feel so…loved and so wanted.

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along

The only thing that I want now is not his kisses or his touches but his voice. I just want our relationship to be like how we were before we went into the official BGR stage. I just want to be his friend and help him; but I guess he doesn’t want that. So what else can I do but to move on?

I laughed silently to myself. Oh, the irony of it. Move on to what? Not a single guy would ever cast a glance in my direction in the way Mike did.

“You okay?” Chanel’s voice broke my little bubble of thoughts.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just fine.”