Freaks and Fortune

Two weeks passed like a second. I woke up and realized that I'd been at the Circus for an entire month, to date. It was strange how I'd made friends so fast. Maybe it was the close quarters... Or the amount of off time we had... But Ravi, Anthony, Savannah, Nina, Aqua and, yes, even Cal, were becoming my closest friends.

It was strange to think that, just a short month ago, I was sitting at home, bored out of my mind, completely oblivious to the Florida sun. But here... I was so aware of everything. The life, the heat, the colors. I was actually beginning to love living here.

Aqua was lounging in his bunk, the veins in his ghostly feet pulling against his skin as he curled his toes around the bedpost. He shot me a lazy grin and jabbed his thumb toward Cal, who currently had his head inside the bottom drawer of the vanity.

"What the hell are you doing, Calvin?" he sneered.
"Don't call me that," Cal spat, his voice muffled from inside the drawer.
Aqua just grinned. "Sniffing out dustbunnies?"
"That doesn't make sense. Stop teasing me." He emerged from the drawer with a pair of blue baby shoes in his hand. "Hm. Not what I was looking for, but interesting nonetheless."

It was about an hour before the Carnival began and Cal still wasn't in costume. Black converse took the place of his black boots, and he was wearing a blue v-neck instead of his buttoned down white tee. His black leather jacket was crumpled in a corner by the door. He was, of course, wearing his gloves - but he always wore his gloves.

"Seriously, Cal," Aqua pressed curiously, sitting up in his bed. "What is all this?"

Cal had began running around the cabin, throwing things into a small brown suitcase he had dragged out from behind the dresser. He didn't have much, but he left what he did have scattered all over the floor.

"Ow, hey!" I whined as Cal stepped on my foot while stooping to snatch a pair of boxer briefs from the ground.
"Sorry, sorry."
"Dude, where's the fire?" Aqua demanded.
"Hilarious," Cal sneered.
"No pun intended."

Cal sighed in a longsuffering sort of way and cocked his head to the side.

“Well, Gregory,” he said, grinning when Aqua winced. “If you must know… I’m packing.”

I leaned back from the mirror, pausing with a mascara wand in my hand. Cal was moving with a bubbly spring in his step, humming the chorus to "Bring it on Home" by Led Zeppelin and hitting all the wrong notes. It might have been the happiest I’d ever seen.

"Why are you packing, Cal?” I asked, turning back to the mirror.
"My dad's coming to get me today!" he answered cheerily.

Aqua suddenly stiffened and shot me a panicked look. Confused, I gave a little shrug. He reached up into the bunk above him and shook Savannah.

"Why didn't you guys wake me up?" she demanded, as she snorted awake. She immediately twisted out of bed and flipped over the edge, ignoring the tiny ladder on the side. "I'm going to-"
"What day is it?" Aqua whispered, catching her arm.

She wrenched her arm away from Aqua and snatched her black leotard from a hanger near her wardrobe.

"How am I supposed to know?" she shot grumpily.
"Sav," he hissed in a barely audible whisper. "Look at him."

Cal ignored the both of them, too busy singing and packing to listen to what they were whispering about. I waved my hands silently at them, mouthing “What’s going on?” over and over. They turned away.

"Oh no..." Savannah breathed, taking Aqua's hand. “Seriously? Again?”

Cal snapped the fasteners on his suitcase closed and sighed happily.

"Goodbye tight black pants," he said, touching the pants that went with his fire-breathing costume. "I will not miss you. You made my legs numb and my butt hurt."

"Cal, are you leaving?" I asked. “As in… for good?”

I received two identical looks of horror and disapproval from Savannah and Aqua. Aqua slowly shook his head back and forth, signaling me to drop the topic. I squinted at them, silently pleading for one of them to let me in on the taboo.

Cal ran up and gave me a big hug. I smelled something smoky and something sharp and stinging, like diesel.

"You're going to be so great as the Kissing Booth Girl, Ivy," he told me. "You're going to be so great and I only regret that I won’t be around to see it."

He let go of me and I raised an eyebrow at Savannah. She shook her head and shrugged. It was as if she was saying, "Sorry, I'll explain later."

Cal moved on to Aqua. He shook his hand and gave him a quick hug.

"I'm going to miss you, Aqua," he said, giving a watery smile. "I'll keep in touch."
"Yeah, okay..." Aqua mumbled, looking at the floor.

He hesitated before giving Savannah a gentle hug. He whispered something in her ear that sounded like, "Will you come visit me?"

She looked as if she was going to cry. She shoved a knuckle into the corner of her eye and nodded. Cal hugged her again and then turned to pick up his suitcase.

Aqua looked uncomfortable. Savannah looked choked. I imagine I looked pretty disoriented – possibly comically so.

Cal paused at the door. He tightened his grip on the handle of his suitcase and broke. He turned around, grabbed Aqua, and crushed him with a hug.

"I'm really going to miss all of you!" he yelled, trying to mask the thickness in his voice. "I'm really going to miss you, I swear!"
"I know, man," Aqua said quietly. "S'okay."

Cal put him down and quickly pecked me and Savannah on the cheek. He took a deep, shaky breath and exited at a slight run. I could see him continue to run through the window. He was headed towards the edge of the dusty road that led away from the Circus.

Savannah covered her face with her hands and collapsed on Aqua's bed. She buried her face into his pillow and let out a frustrated yell.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, looking away from the window.
"Cal does this every year," Aqua explained, awkwardly patting Savannah's shoulder. "This is the anniversary of the day that his dad dropped him off here."
"Dropped him off?" I asked, cautious.
"Abandoned!" Savannah shouted angrily. Her fists were clenched. “I can’t believe I forgot it was today. He’s such a stupid idiot!”
"I don't understand..."

Aqua moved away from Savannah and took my arm, pulling me into a corner. He spoke quietly to avoid upsetting our bunkmate more.

"Cal's mother died when he was young," he whispered.
"I still don't-"
"His dad abandoned him here because he blamed Cal for her death."
"I... What? Why?"
"She died in a fire."
I raised an eyebrow. “So?”
"So..." Aqua continued, widening his eyes. "So... a fire."
“Uh… No. Sorry, I still don’t…” I trailed off and shrugged, shaking my head.
"He hasn't... He hasn't told you about...?"
"About what?"

He hastily changed the subject, trying to make it look as if he was letting me in on the big secret.

"About... about... today?"
"No..." I replied, slow and suspicious.
"Every year, on this day, he waits for his father to come and pick him up. He waits and waits and his dad never comes."

I forgot about the secret at this point. I imagined Cal's face after he realizes that his father had really abandoned him for good... It was horrific and terribly sad.

"Oh no..." I breathed.
"He comes back at night, crushed."

I moved towards the door, but Aqua caught my arm.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "You're not going to go out there to him, are you?"

I shook him off and exited at a run.