Freaks and Fortune

"Woah, man... You look like shit!"

Cal, as usual, was not helping. We'd just spent the last hour looking for Anthony and, when we finally found him sitting by the dirt road, he just had to go off and say something stupid.

"Thanks," he replied dryly.

The remark was insensitive... But Cal was right. Anthony looked terrible. His nose was swollen and red, with a hint of blue at the bridge. He had a piece of white tape on it, suggesting damaged cartilage. His right eye had turned the color of a gasoline puddle. A strange mixture of grey and purple. Black shaded his cheekbone, where the punch had landed.

He was hunched over, sitting down in the dirt by the road. It seemed to be a popular place for thinking.

"No, I mean... You look like you've been run over or something!"
"I get it."
"Have you seen a mirror lately? Because-"
"Hey, shut the f-"

"Woah, woah!" I interrupted. "How about we calm down here?"

Anthony scowled and pushed his face into his knees.

"Cal, can you leave?" I asked.
"What did I do?" he whined.
"Go!"

He rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at me as he walked away.

I waited a while before sitting down next to Anthony. I could feel a strange vibe coming from him. It was a mixture of sadness and anger that I had never experienced. I could read it in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked, nervous.
"I don't know," he said after a while. "Yeah.. I guess. My eye is killing me."
"How do you feel?"
"I don't know."
"I mean... How do you feel about Ravi right now?"

I almost wished I hadn't asked. Anthony winced.

"Can we not talk about Ravi?"
"Alright. I'm sorry."
"S'okay."
"So... What do you want to talk about?"

He thought about it for a second. Begrudgingly, he replied:

"Ravi."

I laughed.

"I didn't even want to date him, at first," he gushed, letting all his frustrations out. "I flirted with him, just like I flirted with everyone else. And then, all of a sudden, I started to... I don't know, get serious."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Ravi had never told me he was gay. I guess I just stopped kidding around and started to actually... lead him on."
"And... What happened?"
Anthony smiled nostalgically, but then winced and touched his bruised nose.

"It was when one of his elephants died... Last year. He was a wreck."
I smiled. Ravi loved his elephants.
"He'd locked himself up in his room, wouldn't talk to anyone. Not his dad... Not even me, when I knocked on his door."
"So what did you do?"
"I climbed in through his window."
"Oh my God!" I laughed.
"I know. He was surprised, too."

Anthony started drawing circles and swirls absentmindedly in the dirt.

"He was crying. I had never seen him cry before. But then he saw me and... he was happy. So he kissed me."
"Woah, woah, woah!" I exclaimed. "He kissed you?"
"Weird, huh?"
"I would have thought it was the other way around."
"Nope. I didn't move an inch. I dropped down onto his carpet from the window and then he jumped up and attacked me."
"Who would've thought?"
"That was exactly one year ago. We've been together ever since."
"Sounds like you love him a lot."
"I do."

He stopped drawing in the dirt and leaned his chin on his knees, staring up the road and into the distance.

"Sounds like you miss him a lot."
"I do."
"I bet he misses you, too."
He sighed. "Well, you never can tell with Ravi."
"No, most people never can tell with Ravi. You always know."

He smiled.

"He misses me."
"Have you talked to him yet?"
"No... I just know him."
"Do you think you'll forgive him?"
"Yes. But..."
"Not just yet?"
"I think it would be best if we gave each other some time to heal."
"Meaning... Physically or emotionally?"

"You really want a solid time frame, don't you Ivy?" he laughed.
"No... No, I'm just hurting for both of you. I can't stand to see you guys apart."

He paused, then stood. He offered me his hand and hoisted me to my feet.

"Do you... Do you think I should have outed us like that?" he asked timidly.
"Well... It was bound to happen sometime."
"I know... Do you think he'll forgive me?"
"Of course!"
He paused again. "I love him, Ivy."
"I can tell."

We started walking back toward the fairgrounds. Anthony wasn't looking at me, but at the ground. He was feeling guilty, big-time.

"It's going to kill me to me to be away from him, but I feel like I have to be."
"I understand."
"Are you... Are you going to go talk to him?" he asked hesitantly.
"Yeah. Maybe tomorrow... Depending on wether or not he lets me."
"Tell him... Tell him we're not broken up. Tell him that I'm not angry I just... I just need some time to regroup. And I'm sure he needs time to trust me again."
"I'll tell him."
"Tell him that I don't want any time... But we need it. Does that make sense, or am I crazy?"
"You're not crazy. I'll tell him."
"Promise?"
"I promise."