I Wasn't Asking for the World

Gerard nervously bit down on his lip as he approached the table that he saw the only familiar, non-threatening face sit at. Guilt was washing over him and over him, continually. The guilt was more intense at that moment than it had been for the past month.

He slowly sat down in the cold plastic chair at the other side of the glass to where Frank sat in a yellow vest. Frank smiled at him and picked up the phone on his side of the glass. Gerard timidly did the same.

"Hey." Frank said, almost cheerful, baffling Gerard completely.

"Frank, why…what is wrong with you?" Gerard asked in quiet tones that only Frank could hear through the telephone.

"I was about to ask you same question, you look like you're about to shit yourself any minute," Frank said, his smile never leaving his face.

Gerard stared at him through the glass with a frown on his face. "Are you on some sort of medication or something, you can't possibly be that happy in here,"

"Why can't I?" Frank said with a shrug, his smile staying put and motionless.

"You…you don't need to be in here," Gerard said. They both knew what he meant. Frank continued to smile.

"Why shouldn't I be? I deserve it." Frank said, his facial expression still not changing.

"Will you stop smiling?" Gerard said through gritted teeth.

"Why?" Frank said.

"Just stop it!" Gerard shouted earning looks from other occupants of the room but not even noticing.

Finally Frank's smile faltered and he gripped the phone tighter in his hand and pressed it harder to his ear. Gerard stared at him angrily through the glass, breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry Gerard. I'm sorry if my smile bothers you but maybe that's what is allowing me to get through the day okay? Maybe that's what is helping take away the guilt. I know it won't help for long but it's helping just now. And maybe you should put up with it considering what I am doing for you. For Mikey." Frank said through gritted teeth his eyes starting to well up.

"For Mikey? What has he got to do with it?" Gerard snapped, his compassion for Frank's previous words evaporating as soon as he said Mikey's name.

"He's already lost me and he'll get over that, he doesn't need to loose a brother as well. He can live with out me but he needs you. Blood's thicker than water and all that," Frank said.

"Well I think you're too late there. Because of your lie to Bob Mikey thinks we had an affair and has presumably gone back to the children's home. He wants nothing to do with me." Gerard said, boring into Frank's pupils.

Frank skipped a beat before composing himself. "He'll get over that, he'll forgive you. It's for the best," Frank said even though his heart was tearing on the inside. Mikey actually believed that he would cheat on him? With his brother? He really didn't trust him enough not to believe it?

"Why are you doing this for me?" Gerard said changing the subject, knowing Frank was wrong. If it were for the best then they would be on the opposite side of the glass.

"Doing this for you? No. That wasn't my intentions so don't get too flattered. That was just lucky for you. This is to get rid of my guilt of what I know. You should be the one on this side of the glass we both know that but this way I see it as doing a good deed at the same time of doing it for myself." Frank explained. Gerard stared at him silently again.

A loud buzzer sounded, seconds later, initiating that it was time up for the chat. Frank plastered the fake smile back on and stood up before getting handcuffed and escorted to the door by a cop. He took one last look at Gerard, no emotion apart from the smile, on his face.

Gerard stayed still a moment after Frank left before slowly standing and leaving through an opposite door, unsure of what to think about anything that had just happened. He needed to go and think. And then go and see Mikey.