I Wasn't Asking for the World

"Mikey, it's really not what it sounds like,"

"Mikey, I wanted to tell you, I did but I didn't want to hurt you,"

"Please Mikey, just hear me out,"

Gerard and Bob's voices were received as a blur to Mikey's ears as he shoved clothes and his belongings back into the bags he had unpacked just a few days ago when he had got back from university. To think, just a few days ago Frank had only broke up with him. He hadn't even started to heal from the first wound, now he had to find out the reason for the break up. And such a horrible reason it was.

"Mikey, let us in," Gerard's voice shouted over Bob's consoling words that Mikey refused to listen to. Bob was just about as bad as Gerard in Mikey's eyes at this point. He knew everything and yet he still didn't tell him.

Mikey zipped up his two bags and then thought of a way to get out without going past Gerard or Bob. He wouldn't be able to stand the sight of them but he really had no choice. Unless he wanted to jump out of the window and kill him self, although at that moment the thought was quite tempting.

He heaved a big sigh and unlocked his door and opened it. Bob and Gerard stared back at him in silence. Mikey ignored them and walked past heading straight for the front door. He briefly heard them saying something to him but he was trying his hardest to block it out, succeeding quite well.

He slammed the door behind him and ran down the stairs and out into the street. It was mid afternoon so even though he didn't have a car, he would still manage to get a bus somewhere some how. Where he was going, he still didn't know.

He just needed to get out of there and as far away as he possibly could. He walked to the nearest bus stop and got on the first bus not caring where it took him. He would go to the care home eventually, to Peter and Julie and someone he could trust. He just needed to clear his headfirst.

He stared out of the window at the blurring scenes of streets and roads, stopping every now and then for passengers to get on or off. There wasn't a lot that he needed to clear his head of. It was already empty and blank. He couldn't keep a thought in his head long enough to process it. It was a horrible feeling.

He felt that if he went to the care home now he would have to explain everything to them and he wasn't quite up to reliving the experience yet. He'd have to admit to Peter that he was right. It did have something to do with Gerard. How could he not have noticed? Gerard was obviously a good liar.

The thought brought tears to his eyes. His brother. His own flesh and blood, had sex with his boyfriend. How could he have done that? How could Frank have done that? It didn't make sense, or maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet. Why would Frank have done that? Why would Gerard have? He'd only been back in his life for a couple of years, would he have really wanted to be cut out of it again?

After all, how could Mikey ever forgive a thing like that? Gerard doesn't drink and neither does Frank so that's that excuse out of the window. They both made a conscious decision to do it, but why?

Mikey went back to blaming himself again, just like he had done when Frank first dumped him. It must have been something to do with him. Was he not good enough for Frank? Should he have visited more?

That was stupid. He couldn't have visited anymore than he did unless he started missing lectures. And Frank certainly never visited him. That was a bit selfish on his part actually. Maybe Frank brought this on himself.

"Hey mate, I let you off with it the first two times but we've been through the same route about three times. Are you going to get off at anytime?" the bus driver turned and asked Mikey, snapping him out of his dazed daydreams. He hadn't noticed that his mind had run away from him.

Mikey sighed, picked up his bags and got off the bus at the stop they were at. Surprise, surprise it happened to be just a block away from the care home. He really didn't have much of a choice but to go there unless he wanted to catch another bus to nowhere and sleep rough for the night and he didn't particularly want to.

So Mikey walked the block to the care home. He was expecting it to have changed since the last time he was there but really it hadn't. The building and the garden around it looked the exact same as it had done all those years ago. It was time to face the music.