Unfair

We had stayed in his room and I asked a few more questions about the pictures on the wall. I found out that Caeden was majoring in photography and illustration, so he was an Art major in a sense and I also found out that he was a sophomore, which meant that he was either nineteen or twenty which relieved me slightly, being seventeen and all.

I yawned and Caeden took quick notice.

“Do yeh usually sleep durin’ this break?” I looked at him through tired, watery eyes and smiled softly.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Well yeh being the super studier, I would guess that yeh would have teh get yer energy from somewhere else than six hours o’ sleep and a cup o’ coffee.” He offered a heart-melting crooked smile. His accent seemed a little thicker, but I then noticed the circles under his eyes.

“And I’m guessing that your accent gets thicker when you’re tired too?” I offered, the small smile still on my face.

He let out a yawn that he had probably been struggling to hold down, and nodded sheepishly. His body turned to face mine and he rested his head on my shoulder. I knew that couldn’t have been too comfortable with me being a head and a half shorter than him.

My hand rested on the back of his head, my fingers relishing the warm feeling of his hair on my palm.

A small noise of contentment sounded in the back of his throat and I paused in surprise.

His arms wrapped around my waist and stayed there, lazily resting on my hips. In a way, he felt like a blanket and my eyelids were drooping from the warmth I felt throughout my being at that moment. Then, Caeden leaned down further, placing his arm behind my knees and swept me into his arms.

My heart skipped a beat as he placed me on the bed and pulled the covers from underneath me. After kicking off his shoes, he slid onto the bed to lie in front of me as he pulled the covers over our bodies and drew me close to him with an arm over my side.

“Let’s just stay like this for a while, okay?” he asked, placing his chin on my head, holding me as securely as possible. My heart was pumping wildly at the close contact, but that soon calmed down enough for my eyelids to grow heavy.

“Hey Caeden, did you really—” The voice stopped short as the door thudded to the wall. Caeden sat up quickly and semi-shielded me from view. “Oh, sorry dude. I didn’t know…”

A sigh escaped Caeden and I placed a hand on his back. He turned back to look at me and saw the confusion in my eyes.

“Heath, this is Deirdre.” As soon as he had uttered the words, Heath’s eyes showed recognition.

“Oh… So this is the girl you’ve been mumbling about…” I cocked my head to the side, even more confused than before. Heath took notice of this. “You don’t know?” A smile pulled at the corners of his lips and Caeden tensed.

“Know what?” I looked at the back of Caeden’s head, it was obvious he was mouthing something at Heath, but it only made Heath’s smile widen.

“Caeden here mumbles in his sleep. I’ve been hearing the name Deirdre and when I asked him about it he would blush and mumble an excuse.”

I think I let a giggle slip out before I wrapped my arms around his middle and rested my chin on his shoulder. I knew I was blushing before I spoke the words, “So you dream about me?” Even though I was embarrassed to say it in front of one of his friends that I didn’t know at all, I smiled.

His head turned slightly to see my blushing face and once he processed that, he grinned sleepily, “Ev’ry damn’d day since I had met yeh.”

I stared at him, unable to say anything in response to that. My heart fluttered uncontrollably in my chest and I was sure that he knew what my reaction had been. I kept my face as blank as I could as I saw out of the corner of my eye Heath slowly backtracking to the door and closing it softly.

Caeden cupped my face in his large hands and gently lay down with me again. His arm slipped through the small space between the bed and my waist, pulling me close to him again. The other hand remained on my cheek as he closed his eyes and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead that sent my heart into more of a frenzy. He settled into the position we had been in before the door had slammed open.

“Caeden?”

“Mmm?” I could imagine the soft smile on his sleepy face.

“I…I think…” I couldn’t spit out the words. It was as if my voice wouldn’t let me say it. He pulled back slightly so he could see my face clearly. His expression was confused and borderline scared. “I think that I…am falling for you too…” I couldn’t look at his eyes as the words fell from my mouth. The flush worked its way up my neck, blossoming onto my cheeks as I listened to the silence of his surprise.

The silence lasted longer than I was comfortable with. My mind began to leap to confusion then to fear. Finally an emotion that I hadn’t felt since I had been dropped off at St. Jude’s opened its deadly petals in my core. Each brush of petal caused a line of heat that expanded to my chest and into my throat. He was a hypocrite. Maybe he had lied to get me into his room.

What if he had? Was I that naïve to think that someone truly wanted me? Had I been that weak in the dazzling grins and lines that I hadn’t seen an obvious sign? What if—

“I can’t believe it…” His voice sounded awed. Another petal brushed my core. I felt my body tense in preparation for my assault. “I hadn’t thought yeh could be more adorable than yeh alr’dy were.”

The petals closed immediately. All the heat was drawn back into it. I looked up at him and saw the soft smile on his lips.

“What?” My voice came out a little harsher than I had wanted it to. Side effect of the heat, I guessed.

“The way yeh said it. I forgot how shy yeh are, but when yer cheeks flooded with that blush,” his thumb brushed over my cheek, dulling the heat that was slowly seeping out of it. Where had that come from? Maybe there were more emotions that I never had and Caeden was bringing them out in me.

As I lay there with him, I listened to his steady inhales and pondered.

What else could there be that I haven’t felt yet? Maybe I didn’t want to know.

After that almost-outburst, I was afraid to know.