A Deal With Death

The image of Caleb at school was haunting me but I hadn’t seen him around school again.

It was a whole week after I saw him that he ended up on my list which I was and wasn’t happy about.

I liked seeing and talking with him but I didn’t like why I was allowed to see him.

Death wasn’t happy the night I was late but no one that shouldn’t have died, died.

The time I spent with Caleb became smaller and smaller, he was easier to talk out of.

It was the day after I had spent the night with Caleb and he seemed worse than normal.

He was crying and sobbing and he had been drinking a lot.

I had my head in my hands and I was sitting on the school’s front steps.

“Are you okay?” a familiar voice asked, I turned and looked at him.

Caleb was standing there with his hood over his head looking down at me with his sad green eyes.

I nodded my head a little trying to forget about what he looked like last night.

“You don’t look it” he replied as he sat down next to me.

I remember him once telling me that he didn’t really have any friends since no one understood him.

It was cliché but he also said that no one was like him, had things in common it was just too hard to be friends with them.

“You’re one to talk” I mumbled under my breath not thinking he would be able to hear me.

“Like you would know,” he mumbled leaning his elbows on his legs.

“I know more than you would think Caleb” I turned and looked at him.

His eyes were wide in shock as he stared back at me.

I couldn’t help but marvel of the colour of his eyes they were so absolutely beautiful.

“How do you know my name?” he asked, his voice quiet while he stared.

“Does it matter?” I shrugged my shoulders; he smiled a little making me too.

“Well since you know mine what’s yours?” he was still smiling,

“Airlea” I answered him. It was the first time I was talking to him outside of school.

I knew how to talk to him, how to keep him going, what he liked and didn’t like to talk about but he knew nothing about me.

“Wow that’s really pretty” his voice was light and truthful,

“Thanks” I felt my cheeks blush and I looked out in front of me.

“So Airlea are you going to sit here or go to class?” his voice trailed off before he added

“Or are you going to walk away from this hell hole?” he was daring me to, I was kind of thinking about it anyway.

I got up off the stairs grabbed my bag and walked away from him and the school.

“Wait up” I heard him call from behind me; I didn’t turn but keep walking.

“I’ll walk you home” he told me and I stopped in my tracks and stared at him.

“What?” he looked confused, as I stood there silent just looking at him.

I shook my head and then kept walking, him following.

“This isn’t normal for you” I said observantly when we were five minutes through.

“I thought I’d branch out” he responded swinging his arms in front of him.

“You’re unnaturally happy” I commented as he smiled and swung, there was a little skip in his step.

“I am” he said it more to himself than me.

I walked all the way home with him beside me and then when we got there I said goodbye and went into my house.

I couldn’t believe that the night before he seemed at his worst and now he seemed at his best.

I lounged around my house for the rest of the day doing small things and trying to keep my mind off of him and being unsuccessful.

That night after my list was empty I sat in a park swinging on a little swing as the cold wind blew around my hood.

It was early and my list had been empty for sometime but I didn’t want to go home.

I decided I would do something I really shouldn’t, go and visit Caleb.

I didn’t know if he was asleep or not and what he would think if I just turned up when he wasn’t on the point of committing suicide.

When I appeared there it was dark, he was asleep.

I stood next to his bed and watched, as he seemed to sleep peacefully.

I felt a lot like a stalker and knew that I was becoming unhealthily attracted to him.

He didn’t really even know who I was, he wasn’t allowed to know who I really was.

I could be a friend with him at school that might satisfy this attraction I have towards him.