A Deal With Death

The next day it was Friday and then the weekend.

I wasn’t looking forward to the weekend because then I wouldn’t see him.

We were sitting together at lunch like normal.

“Got any plans for the weekend?” he asked casually, I turned to him.

“Nope, never do” I rested my head on his shoulder,

“You do now” he replied and then I felt his arm go around my waist and pulled me closer.

“Bossy much?” I questioned feeling comfortable but uncomfortable at the same time.

I didn’t really know how I was supposed to feel or act.

“Of course only way to keep you in line” he laughed squeezing me closer to him.

“Oh thanks Caleb” I looked up at him begrudgingly and then went to stand up.

“Where you going?” he asked looking sad since I had left his arms.

“Locker and then class” I replied, there was about one minute left of lunch.

“Why do you always go to class?” he asked,

“To get and education for my future” I poked out my tongue making fun at the whole thing.

“Future” he replied letting out a small laugh.

“I know you really do want one” I leant down and whispered before turning away and running into school as the bell went.

I didn’t see Caleb after school at all; he hadn’t even said anything about the weekend.

I didn’t actually know if we were going to hang out or not.

I spent my Friday night lying on my bed thinking about Caleb, wondering what he was doing.

Wondering if he liked me or not and wondering if he was still suicidal.

That night I got my answer.

It was just past two in the morning when he appeared on my list.

“Oh Caleb” I knelt next to him in my big heavy hooded cloak which covered all my skin.

“I’m sorry… I just… I don’t know why I get this way,” he sobbed looking at me with his sad green eyes.

“I thought things were getting better” I touched my hand to his cheek and whipped away his tears.

When I was in the cloak and he didn’t know who I was, I acted differently.

He was so sad, so broken, I just wanted to protect him and make him happy.

“It was but then my friend… she gave me something to think about.” He paused looking down at the ground now.

“What was it?” I was curious to what I had said, since I was his only friend.

“My future…” he trailed off starting to cry again,

“Why does that make you sad? You have a future Caleb, it’s good that you’re thinking about it.”

I wanted to hug him so much but that was getting a little too close.

“It scares me, I don’t know what will happen, this is the only thing I’ve ever thought about as my future,” he confessed.

It made me sad that the only future he saw for himself was death, nothing in between.

“Then don’t think about the future too much. Look a few days ahead and nothing more, look ahead to things that make you happy.” I offered.

“You make me happy” he looked up at me from under his lashes.

“Caleb I’m here to make you happy, to stop you from doing something horrible that would ruin lives.”

It was bad if he started wanting to commit suicide just to see me.

“It wouldn’t ruin anyone’s life” the selfish thoughts from the suicide.

“Can’t you at least think of one person” it would ruin my life, I would feel like I failed and I would lose a good friend, maybe my best friend.

“Airlea” he sighed saying my name.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t like it if you were to kill yourself” I would be devastated beyond belief.

“Her life will be better without me” that made me angry.

“Caleb stop being so selfish. She will be ruined if you killed yourself, just think.

You’ve made friends with her now and then your just going to kill yourself?”

I was looking at him accusingly I knew it but he needed a wake up call.

“How would you know you’re just death’s assistant” he seethed but as I looked down at my list his name was disappearing.

“I know a hell of a lot more than you think Caleb, I’ve stopped so many people from killing themselves, and you never know one of them could have been her.”

I replied probably putting ideas in his head.

“Has she?” his voice quiet and worried.

“I can’t tell you Caleb, I’m not allowed to tell other people about my other patients.” It was an indirect answer, which could lead to anything.

“So she could have?” he looked real worried now.

“Caleb I can’t give you that answer if you really want to know ask her.”

I was hoping that if he asked me I could ask him and he would trust me with this and I could help him being me, not death’s assistant.

“I was going to hang out with her this weekend but I don’t know her number or where she lives.”

He looked sad and hung his head.

I gave him my address saying that I was just helping him out, he was happy.