Let's Do This Properly

On the days Toni didn't come to school I always felt really awkward. It wasn't that I didn't have any friends outside of her, it's we were together so frequently it was odd no to have her around. So at lunch I took my guitar and my food to a secluded corner and again tried to complete the song.

is this attention all I feel
each gloved slap winds and keels.
the earth it shakes, when each words collapses.
yell out, free and sound.
give away all not kep.
the day that true love died.

I sing the words mustering all the passion I can into what I've composed. I'm not positive about the lyrics yet, but those can wait, I want just to sing.

if heaven and hell decided that they both are satisfied...

I Will Fallow You Into The Dark by Death Cab started playing; it was Toni's favourite song so when she was messing around with my phone she changed the ringtone.

"Hello," I say pressing the square to my head.

"Hey Ry, I was wondering if you could come over after school. There’s kinda' something I need to tell you," Toni doesn't sound herself, she sounds scared and tired.

"Okay Love," I was my words gently, almost like I've afraid to hurt her, "I'll be over by twenty after three, love you."

"Okay, see you later," she's stiffeling sobs before the call has even ended. Being responsible I decided the possibility is too large. Toni needs me much more then the school system does right now.

Quickly I’m putting my things back together I make my way to my car and head to Toni's. As I drive our song comes onto the radio, I sing along trying to figure out what could hurt my best friend so badly as she seemed to be. Toni's house was my house; I didn't bother knocking I'd stopped doing that at least four years ago.

"Toni love where are you?" I call out taking my shoes off at the front door.

She comes out of her room into the hall; I've never seen her look worse. Her eyes and cheeks are stained red, her hair is tangled and she looks like she hasn't slept.

"Baby," I walk to hold her, as soon as my arms are around her she starts to shake violently, no tears are coming out though.

"Ihavelukemia," Toni mumbles into my shoulder, I know she just made her confession, but I have no idea what it was.

"Pardon," I murmur quietly. Toni takes her head off my shoulder.

"Ryan Anthony Cauthorn," she stumbles over my name, "I have fucking cancer."

I'm completely shocked; I think I've gone numb, I don't know, "They can get rid of it right? You'll be fine right? You're not going to die right?"

"FUCK YOU! she screams, Toni crumples to the ground, lying a crying, screaming, twitching heap.

"You'll be with me the entire time right?" Toni whispers holding onto my hand.

"Always," I reply kissing her neck. I think we fall asleep, but again I'm not sure.