The Portrait

I walk by the diner everyday and I can see the redhaired girl in the window. Sometimes I can see her laughing, the way she laughed at me. Was she laughing at me? Or with me? Sometimes I know, I know that she sees me. I see her watching me, but she never waves and she never smiles. Just watches.

Its very disconcerting.

But I don't go in the diner, and I don't wave. I don't know why, I don't even know why I'm still thinking of her. I talked to her for five minutes, and she was strange. She annoyed me. She didn't even get my name right!

But I still look for her. Everyday.

Sometimes, in my head of course, I apologize for being so rude. I know that I was mean, she was being friendly, and I was an ass. But she was rude too. She was rude, incredibly rude to me. She told me to leave! What kind of customer service is that?

It is not until two weeks later that I enter the diner once more. I go into the diner and then I sit at the table I had sat at before. I sit and I wait. I wait and I wait. Finally, she appears but she goes to a table on the other side and pours more coffee for a couple and she smiles and then she looks at me. And goes back into the kitchen. What the hell?
I move to the bar and ring the service bell. She appears at the door and she looks at me without a smile.
"Yes?" she says finally.
"I'm...I'm, I'm not sure what to say." I stammer. Why is this so complicated. I don't even know this girl. I don't know her, why is this so complicated?
She looks at me with her green eyes and she says nothing.
"What do you want me to say?" I ask.
"Nothing."
"What?" This is incredible! What the hell is wrong with this girl. Why does she bother me like this?
"You wanted nothing from me, so I want nothing from you."She says.
"Oh my God!"I explode. "This is because I didn't want your stupid coffee?"
The couple across the way is staring at me like I'm insane.
"You came in here and you were rude, I don't have to serve you if your going to be an ass."She frowns and flips a strand of hair out of her face. The motions sends a scent of flowers rushing towards me. She smells beautiful. Today, she is beautiful and that is just so aggravating!
"You didn't even get my name right!"I accuse
"It was a nickname!"her hands fly to her hips. Her hands are slender and pale, like a child's. "Friend's gove eachother nicknames!" she yells.
"We're not friends!"I yell back.
She stops suddenly and looks at me blankly. So like my father. Blankly.
"But we could've been, we could've been except you chose not to be." she says softly. "You didn't even know me and you were mean, You hurt my feelings."

I blink. I hurt her feelings. And she says it so forwardly. I hurt her feelings. She is so small. Like a girl, just a girl. She is beautiful today, dressed in jeans and a blouse with her hair falling out of it's chopsticks, I want to paint her like this. Unlike my other girlfriends she is so real. So natural.

Like life. She is life.

And I hurt her feelings.

"I'm sorry" I say. "I am sorry, I was rude and I was mean, but I'm not good at meeting people and you were just so..."I trail off.
She smiles suddenly. "You can't apologize very well either."
I smile back. "No, no I can't"
She motions to my table and turns toward the kitchen. "Well, I am good at meeting people and I knew right away that I should meet you."
I step closer to her, stopping her from leaving the room."Why?"I ask very aware the couple is watching every move and hanging on to every word."Why?"
She turns to face me once more. "I'll get you a drink ok?" she says stepping around my outstretched hand.
I return to my table and ignore the audience that is now whispering frantically with many glances thrown in my direction. Why does everyone here seem to stare?
Erin returns with a cup and offers it to me. I take a sip and watch her walk away and then I smile.
It's Earl Gray tea.