Lunacy Fringe
Lunacy Fringe
Lunette clutched her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth, glaring at herself in the mirror. Chip packets and sweet wrappers were strewn around the room, thrown carelessly after being emptied. Lunette screwed her face up in concentration and attempted to resist the urge to throw up everything she’d just consumed. Her perfectly normal body still looked hideous and much too fat to her.
Sunlight filtered through the drawn curtains, reflecting off her waxen skin and creating dark shadows beneath her eyes and hollow cheeks. She couldn’t remember how long she’d been trying to control her body for. It already seemed like an eternity.
Lunette pushed her face further into the bowl, her insides rushing out through her mouth. She gasped for air and pressed her cheek to the floor, welcoming the cool feel of the tiles on her flushed face. She lay there with her eyes closed for a moment, her heart beating rapidly and adrenaline coursing through her veins. Hot tears spilled down her face while butterflies of guilt and shame fluttered about her near-empty stomach. How long would this go on for?
Lunette slowly forced herself upwards and looked down at her pale stomach and legs.
‘You’re still fat,’ the voice shrieked inside her head.
Lunette glowered and leaned over the bowl again, shoving her finger down her throat.
* * *
Felix lay limply on his unmade bed. His arm hung over the edge of the mattress like the limb of a rag doll, and his ashen face was pressed into his pillow. Across the room, dust particles danced in the late afternoon sunlight. Happy chatter could be heard from else where in the house, and outside, birds were chirping their afternoon songs. If anyone would have walked into Felix’s room, they might’ve thought he was sleeping.
Felix sobbed silently to himself, dry tears never wetting his pillow. His stomach and head throbbed painfully. Nothing was right these days. Felix was being drained of his right to be himself.
Felix hugged his knees to his chest and bowed his head, shutting off the outside world. He shifted slightly and the unused lunch money collected from the past week rattled from deep inside his pocket. Alice, his girlfriend, rested against his right side; she toyed with his shoelace and hummed softly to herself. The park smelled strongly of freshly cut grass and bark chips; reminding Felix of a dream he had a few years ago.
Felix lifted his head slightly so he could peer through his hair to see Alice’s face.
She smiled up at him, “What are we doing tomorrow?”
Felix hesitated. He breathed out slowly and buried his face again.
Alice’s mouth pulled down at the corners and she dipped her head, “Fine,” she grumbled, leaning on Felix as she stood, “I’ll take that as: ‘nothing’.”
Felix unfurled and caught onto Alice’s hand. He spoke softly so his burning throat wouldn’t sting so much, “Alice, no. I … Not tomorrow, I’m – I can’t.”
Alice frowned, “Yeah, this isn’t the first time …” she mumbled. Felix smiled guiltily and let Alice’s hand drop. This food problem Felix had was taking over his life. And yet, he couldn’t stop. He could not gain weight. He must not gain weight.
She let out an exasperated sigh, “You know what, Felix, I don’t know what is wrong with you. Maybe nothing is wrong with you, but something has changed. Something’s changed and I don’t like it; you spend hardly any time with me anymore. The only times you go out is when I half-force you, and …”
She crossed her arms and frowned. Felix’s washed-out face turned paler than usual; his palms began to sweat and mad butterflies hammered inside his aching stomach. He looked down at his hands and began to play nervously with a blade of grass.
“Maybe when you can decide who you are …” Alice’s expression and tone of voice softened, but Felix couldn’t meet her gaze. “Then you can come back and … and tell me that you’re ready to start again.”
She stooped to plant a feathery kiss on his cheek, “Goodbye, Felix.”
He closed his eyes tightly and balled his hands into fists. After a few moments, she was gone: he opened his watering eyes and let the tears spill down his face.
* * *
Sunlight filtered through the drawn curtains, reflecting off her waxen skin and creating dark shadows beneath her eyes and hollow cheeks. She couldn’t remember how long she’d been trying to control her body for. It already seemed like an eternity.
Lunette pushed her face further into the bowl, her insides rushing out through her mouth. She gasped for air and pressed her cheek to the floor, welcoming the cool feel of the tiles on her flushed face. She lay there with her eyes closed for a moment, her heart beating rapidly and adrenaline coursing through her veins. Hot tears spilled down her face while butterflies of guilt and shame fluttered about her near-empty stomach. How long would this go on for?
Lunette slowly forced herself upwards and looked down at her pale stomach and legs.
‘You’re still fat,’ the voice shrieked inside her head.
Lunette glowered and leaned over the bowl again, shoving her finger down her throat.
* * *
Felix lay limply on his unmade bed. His arm hung over the edge of the mattress like the limb of a rag doll, and his ashen face was pressed into his pillow. Across the room, dust particles danced in the late afternoon sunlight. Happy chatter could be heard from else where in the house, and outside, birds were chirping their afternoon songs. If anyone would have walked into Felix’s room, they might’ve thought he was sleeping.
Felix sobbed silently to himself, dry tears never wetting his pillow. His stomach and head throbbed painfully. Nothing was right these days. Felix was being drained of his right to be himself.
Felix hugged his knees to his chest and bowed his head, shutting off the outside world. He shifted slightly and the unused lunch money collected from the past week rattled from deep inside his pocket. Alice, his girlfriend, rested against his right side; she toyed with his shoelace and hummed softly to herself. The park smelled strongly of freshly cut grass and bark chips; reminding Felix of a dream he had a few years ago.
Felix lifted his head slightly so he could peer through his hair to see Alice’s face.
She smiled up at him, “What are we doing tomorrow?”
Felix hesitated. He breathed out slowly and buried his face again.
Alice’s mouth pulled down at the corners and she dipped her head, “Fine,” she grumbled, leaning on Felix as she stood, “I’ll take that as: ‘nothing’.”
Felix unfurled and caught onto Alice’s hand. He spoke softly so his burning throat wouldn’t sting so much, “Alice, no. I … Not tomorrow, I’m – I can’t.”
Alice frowned, “Yeah, this isn’t the first time …” she mumbled. Felix smiled guiltily and let Alice’s hand drop. This food problem Felix had was taking over his life. And yet, he couldn’t stop. He could not gain weight. He must not gain weight.
She let out an exasperated sigh, “You know what, Felix, I don’t know what is wrong with you. Maybe nothing is wrong with you, but something has changed. Something’s changed and I don’t like it; you spend hardly any time with me anymore. The only times you go out is when I half-force you, and …”
She crossed her arms and frowned. Felix’s washed-out face turned paler than usual; his palms began to sweat and mad butterflies hammered inside his aching stomach. He looked down at his hands and began to play nervously with a blade of grass.
“Maybe when you can decide who you are …” Alice’s expression and tone of voice softened, but Felix couldn’t meet her gaze. “Then you can come back and … and tell me that you’re ready to start again.”
She stooped to plant a feathery kiss on his cheek, “Goodbye, Felix.”
He closed his eyes tightly and balled his hands into fists. After a few moments, she was gone: he opened his watering eyes and let the tears spill down his face.
* * *