A Name for a Band

The rest of dinner went by casually, a few good laughs, then it was time for Casey and Caleb to go.

“See you tomorrow!” Aiden waved to Casey and Caleb, then shut the front door. He sighed then walked to the kitchen where Christen was doing dishes. He had washed all the dishes, and now he was spraying them with lysol, and rinsing them. Aiden wrinkled his nose at the biting smell of lysol, “No matter how often you do that, I will never understand why.”

Christen paused and looked over to Aiden, “What? Lysol could kill demons.” He finished up the last of the dishes and looked to Aiden, “Here,” he threw a dish towel at Aiden, “help me dry these.”

Aiden moved over to the dishes and began helping Christen dry them. He moved slowly as he pondered how to ask Christen about Caleb. Christen noticed his friend’s distracted look. “Are you okay?” He asked concerned.

Aiden looked at him and frowned, “No, I’m really not okay. Are you dating Caleb or something?” Aiden mentally smacked himself. He needed to learn to ponder harder. Christen looked momentarily taken aback by Aiden’s question, but then he started laughing. Aiden was throughly puzzled by his friend’s sudden outburst and waited for him to explain.
“Whooo.” Christen sighed out, he looked to hiss blond friend, who looked back with a curious annoyance. “Perhaps I should explain my bout of laughter there. You see, that’s what everyone else thought too. Anyone who saw us together. Automatically assumed we were boyfriend’s or something. For a while we almost were, but I’m a classic screwup and messed any chance of that ever happening. First, I chickened out when he asked me and second, I went and got a girlfriend. It was like adding insult to injury. I really don’t think our friendship would have survived if we hadn’t been the best of friends before all that went down.” Christen focused back on the dishes, then added quietly, “It could’ve been, but it wasn’t.”

Aiden watched Christen with mixed emotions, partly relieved to hear Caleb was potentially single, partly concerned for his room-mate. He had sounded so sad at that last bit.
Christen looked back to Aiden, “Why? You got a crush?”

Aiden quickly denied him with a fervent, ”What? No!”, but his face betrayed him as it turned bright red and his eyes darted to the right like they always did when he lied.

Christen smiled a knowing smile, “Suuuurrreeeee.” Aiden scrunched his face into a pout, and returned to drying the dishes with an interest he hadn’t displayed before. Christen let his gaze linger on his friend a moment more before turning back and finishing the dishes as well.

After they finished doing the dishes it was still pretty early in the evening, well early for a couple of young guys who have no real responsibilities. Aiden popped in a movie and reclined on the couch and Christen had gone to put on his eveningwear.

Christen now walked back out to the main living area in loose pajama bottoms and a large t-shirt. Aiden watched as his slouching, brown-haired friend shuffled to his bag. He sat up as he saw Christen pull out a pack of cigarettes.

“I thought you said you were quitting?” Aiden asked, his tone flat.

Christen pulled a cigarette from the little yellow box, along with a lighter, then headed to the glass slider to go out on there balcony. “I am.” He mumbled from around the rolled chemicals in between his lips. Christen opened the slider, went out, and started to shut the door behind him. Before he could finish closing the door though, Aiden grabbed the door and pushed it back open.

Christen rolled his eyes atAiden’s expression, it was his I’m-going-to-lecture-you-because-you-know-your-wrong face. This was the third time so far this week. Aiden stepped outside, closed the door behind him, and stood behind Christen; who had turned to the street and lit his cigarette.

Christen inhaled deeply the deadly toxins, then slowly exhaled the smoke and watched as it mingled with the city smog. He turned his head to the side. “If your going to lecture me, I’m not going to turn around. The smoke would just blow in your face anyway.” Christen then turned his head back and took another drag from his cigarette.

Aiden scrunched his nose and sat in one of the chairs Christen had placed on their little outpost. “You said you would quit. That they were a one time stress reliever. They’re bad for you. They make you sick, one day they may even kill you. How many times have you lost your voice and been disgusted with yourself?” His voce was calm, despite the anger Aiden held for Christen’s ‘habit’.

“I can’t tell if you are talking about cigarettes or people.” Christen responded with a puff from his cigarette. Aiden frowned at Christen’s back.

“What’s bugging you? Why are you acting like this? Granted you had another ‘superb’ day at your job, but shouldn’t the fact that we finally have the semblance of a band make you happy? Soon, we can start getting gigs and then a big label will sign us. We’ll travel the country, the world! Yet, here you are stressing out like we’re already failing, like we’ll never make it.” Aiden clenched his hands and sighed.

Suddenly Christen started having a coughing fit. He dropped his cigarette as one hand covered his mouth and the other clenched his side, trying to stop the raucous coughs that racked his body. Aiden jumped from his chair and held his friend. He didn’t miss the chance to stamp out the cigarette.

Christen’s coughs eventually subsided and the two held each other a moment before Christen started pushing Aiden away. Frustrated by his fit, he hit the ground. Then without looking up, he whispered, “The band does make me happy, but what if we do fail, Ai? What if we stagnate and we’re forever stuck? I have this horrible fear of uncertainty and I feel the most uncertain about the future. My worries of today are my problems of tomorrow. Kinda sucks, hunh?”

Aiden wasn’t sure how to respond, but he reached out to help Christen up. Christen pushed Aiden’s hand away and looked up. “I’m fine. I’ll come in when I want.”

Aiden frowned, but turned around and began heading back inside, but before he shut the slider, he turned to face Christen. “You know, I’m uncertain too, but the future’ll never come if we spend all our time worrying about it. It’d be like a self fulfilling prophesy. So, let’s take a risk and I’m sure everything’ll be fine. Don’t stay out too late and I’m serious about the smoking. You’re one of my best friends, I’d hate to see you hurt.” Aiden smiled at Christen, who smiled and waved back. Then, Aiden shut the slider and went back to his movie.

Christen sat for a few moments as Aiden disappeared from his sight. When he was sure Aiden wouldn’t be bothering him anymore, he sighed. He stood up, folded his arms, and leaned over the balcony railing, watching the city down below. Then, quietly, so the city swallowed up his words, he spoke out into the night, “If you don’t want to hurt me, then make me un-love you.”