Even After Everything

That’s pretty much how I pass the next day too.

You know the score. Pacing, painting, fiddling and eating - it’s like every day I add something new onto the sequence. If I’m not careful, I’ll soon be using up the whole day to complete the huge lists of tasks I’ve built up, just to keep with the routine.

I wake up the morning after that, to a persistent hammering on my door. I open my eyes grudgingly and flick them to my clock.

Shit! It’s almost ten minutes past ten! I jump up out of bed without even thinking, and run downstairs as fast as my still sleeping legs will carry me. Panting and gasping for breath as I pretty much had done the last morning William called by, I wrench open the door, only realising that I was only wearing a cami and a pair of boxers when I feel a cool breeze dust through the hallway.

‘Shit!’ I exclaim, looking down at myself. I pull William through the door by his leather jacket and slam it behind him, legging it back up the stairs and throwing on my dressing gown. It was still ridiculously short, but at least I could pretend that I had modesty this way.

Exhausted by all the running, I hop back downstairs to find William. He’s standing in front of one of my sofas in the lounge, surveying the picture on the wall behind it. I walk up behind him and grab his jacket by the shoulders, dragging him back out of the lounge and into the kitchen.

‘No no,’ I say determinedly. ‘No one sees that photo.’ He smirks at me. It was a studio photograph that the family had had taken when I was about twelve. My hair was in a spazzy little bob at the time, and I had on the most ridiculous shoes. You know when you’re young and you think high heels make you look so grown up? Well go figure.

‘It’s uh…cute,’ he says, with that little half smile. ‘And you’re not dressed!’

I blush, feeling pretty bad about being nowhere near ready. ‘I um…may have forgotten to set my alarm last night. I was so busy, you know, being bored…’ I trail off. That was quite a good summation of it actually.

‘Just go and get dressed,’ he says wryly, pushing me towards the stairwell.

‘Okay!’ I call down to him as I climb the stairs quickly. ‘Coffee’s in the cupboard - you know where the telly is-’

‘Go!’ he cuts in, so I sprint the rest of the way and dash into my room, applying my makeup the quickest I have ever managed and throwing on some clothes. Half an hour later, I appear downstairs in a pair of black skinny jeans, a simple white bat-wing t-shirt synched with a belt, and a silk bomber jacket that I had bought an age ago but had never gotten the chance to wear.

I slip my feet back into my black kitten heels as he watches on, amused, and throw myself out of the house, William following closely. As we sit in the car, I begin apologising profusely for being so late, but he cuts me off.

‘I knew you would be - I was going to suggest meeting at eleven but then thought ten would be safer.’ He throws me a grin. ‘Looks like I was right.’

I blush, knowing it‘s true.

‘So what are we doing today?’ I ask, curiosity finally getting the better of me.

He takes one hand off the steering wheel as he pulls out of the drive and taps his nose with a spindly finger. ‘You’ll see,’ he says knowingly. ‘And I managed to get us into the studio tomorrow - that receptionist that you know so well managed to pull some strings for me.’

I bet she did, I think to myself.

‘But we’ve barely practiced!’ I splutter, nerves getting the better of me.

‘We don’t need to practice.’

‘But you said it needs to come alive.’

‘And that’s what today’s for.’ He gives me a reassuring smile and turns on the radio. ‘You mind Radio One?’

I shake my head and look out at the road, feeling my hands clench on the seat as we pass the huge tree.

‘You really don’t like coming this way, do you?’ he asks, concerned.

I shake my head as he tunes into the right station. ‘I don’t know why…it just seems…ominous.’

We drive off round the corner and I relax again, zoning into Jo Wiley and her morning top ten as an acoustic version of Lip Gloss and Black fades out.

‘And so now we’re onto number five of the top live lounge recordings. I personally loved this one, and it eventually went on to exceed the original in sales. Say Valerie to a passer by and they’ll say Amy Winehouse, so here it is, number five.’

I listen distractedly as a recording of a presenter and Amy Winehouse talking comes on, before launching into what had been one of my favourite songs of the previous spring. As I sing along absent mindedly, William joins in, and I relish the moment where we’re both just having the most fun ever, so easily.

Eventually, the song ends, and Jo Wiley introduces number four, then number three - and then the next, which makes me freeze in recognition. The recording starts to play and I look at William, shocked.

‘How are you boys?’ the producer greets, and there’s a general rumble of greetings where I’m sure I can distinguish several voices I recognise. ‘So tell me about this newest song then.’

‘Well,’ begins a voice that nearly makes my heart stop. ‘I’ve been working on the lyrics for about a month-’

But Will jams his finger into the power button, swerving slightly and opening his mouth.

‘You forgot your over night stuff!’

I feel sure that this wasn’t what he was going to say, but the subject distracts me enough for me to realise that the statement’s true.

‘Shit! Oh fuck…what am I going to do?’

‘Well, I have some clothes you can sleep in and I guess you can wear that tomorrow morning,’ he shrugs, suddenly not as panicked as before.

‘Okay, thanks,’ I nod.

About 50 minutes later, we pull into the car park of a cheap looking hotel. I get nervous as we leave the car and make our way through the entrance, so try to make conversation.

‘You know, I’d never been to Birmingham before the other day. Unless you count the concert,’ I say.

‘Really?’ He raises one eyebrow and looks at me as we reach the reception. ‘Look, why don’t you head on up to out room whilst I check in,’ he suggests carefully. ‘I’ll be right there.’

I walk off to our left and find an elevator, punching the ‘up’ button and stepping in as the door slides open.