Even After Everything

The voice belongs to Gabe. I wonder how well I knew him?

I mean, if what Sana said was true. But if it wasn’t, then why were William and Gabe being so…serious about it? They genuinely seem to think they know me…or knew me at least. It would also explain the crash I suppose - although as if I would just stop driving because a stupid song came on the radio.

‘Bill?’ the voice questions again, louder this time.

‘Mmmph?’

‘Bill.’

Stop saying Bill already. I really dislike that nickname. I met someone off MySpace called Bill once - he was a complete nerd to say the least, all this hair just- bleurgh. And his glasses.

Gabe shuts the door and turns on a small lamp near William, illuminating the sofa and the back of his head, as he slumps down into the cushions.

‘Bill…’

‘I don’t understand,’ he croaks. ‘It’s her…isn’t it?’

‘…Yeah, it’s her.’

‘Then why is she doing this? If she wanted to come to the show…then fine, I could probably handle that. But what was all that about? Do you know how long I’ve tried to get over her? I went cold turkey…went back to Samantha, but nothing worked. I’m still as hung up as the day she left and she’s acting like she never even knew who I was.’

‘Look, stop crying?’ Gabe says gently. ‘I need to tell you something. And you won’t like it. But you need to hear it anyway.’

‘Suck it up and get over it?’

‘No, no…I was just talking to the girl she came with - she’s her best friend. After Hannah left…she got in a crash and went into a coma-’

The head belonging to William snaps up.

‘- She was under for four months, and when she woke up she couldn’t remember anything. Well, hardly anything from the last three years or so. Any relationships, parties…she has amnesia Bill. That’s why she doesn’t know us.’

William just stays still. Doesn’t move a muscle. Gabe twitches uncomfortably.

‘What…? She can’t remember me? I’ve just been…been wiped from her memory?’

Gabe sighs. ‘As far as she’s concerned, she never met us. There was no you. There was no party. There was no song.’

Song? What’s a song got to do with anything?

‘But…But I-’ started William, voice cracking as he collapses into Gabe.

‘I know, I know,’ soothes Gabe.

‘But I don’t understand, how could I mean that little to her?’

‘That’s not how it works Bill. She couldn’t even remember her best friend.’

‘You said her best friend was here tonight.’

‘She is. They had to start over. She reckons that to some extent, her memory returned, but not her knowledge of her. Just how she felt or whatever.’

William raises his head.

‘Then there’s hope?’

‘Huh?’

‘Then there’s hope. I just have to - I just have to start again.’

‘What about Samantha?

‘What about her? I don’t love her.’

‘She’s carrying your kid.’

‘So? She was carrying my kid last time Hannah left, and she barely lifted a finger - yet she still miscarried. It seems every time I try and leave, she gets herself pregnant.’

‘So you’re gonna abandon her?

‘…No…but I don’t have to be with her.’

He got a girl pregnant? When he was with me?

‘Gabe…don’t make me feel bad about it,’ he sighs. He seems to suddenly remember something. ‘But that’s the reason she left, isn’t it? And now she doesn’t know…’

‘Bill,’ says Gabe in a warning tone.

William’s head flops again.

‘I guess you just think it’s better if I leave it.’

‘I don’t know Bill. I guess so. You loved- I mean, you meant that much to each other that whenever the slightest thing went wrong, you went crazy. You were so temperamental - don’t give me that look, I didn’t mean it like that. All I’m saying is this looks like a clean break to me. You can finally get over her, knowing she’s not hurting anymore because of you - and she doesn’t have to go through it again. I’d consider it. If you started again, and then broke up again - would you be able pull through? Would she?’

William lets out a deep breath.

‘I know you’re right Gabe. But it’s just so hard when I know that I have another shot at it.’

‘I know Bill. Listen, I’m gonna go and check everything’s alright with- er, alright. I’ll see you later, yeah?

Gabe gets up quietly and leaves the room. I could go now if I wanted to…and yet I don’t. I sit here.

So I was with William? And…he cheated on me presumably, so I left. I don’t know why I’m surprised - he’s famous. That’s what famous people do. I’m obviously better off without him.

And yet something’s pulling me towards him. And I’m sure it’s not just attraction - it’s as though I can feel a slight part of what I used to. Or it could be my mind playing tricks on me. I’m suddenly told that I used to date William Beckett, so it’s telling me I should still feel something for him. Damn the human mind.

Even if I did, it’s obvious that he’s a dick. He had me, and he went and got into some other girls pants. Now, I’m not exactly full of myself, but I’m smart enough to know that I’m pretty. And slim. And I know how to accentuate that - why did he need someone else when he had me? And how dare he contemplate trying to win me back after what he did - especially as he sounds like he’s with someone else now.

And so my resolve is made. And yet I still find myself scrawling my number onto an old library card from my purse, and dropping it into his lap before I walk out of the door. As I leave, I turn back for his reaction. But he hasn’t moved - he must be asleep. Or dead.

Great. I just gave a dead guy my number.