Things Happen for a Reason...

I always knew that things happen for a reason… even if sometimes we don’t know what that reason is…

I am the oldest among my siblings and I am proud to say that I am part of a very happy family.

My sister, Mary, just turned 18 and you will NEVER see her without her boyfriend (Adam). Even though we have a lot in common and have our great moments we are so different and are constantly fighting (hard to understand, I know, but that’s what sisters do!). She is a great singer and it is her dream to do this for a living.

My brother, in the other hand, is the one I can always count on. Alex is the youngest, 15 years old, but he’s always been there for me to support me and cheer me up. His girlfriend, Hanna, is 15 years old as well, and she is a lot like me in many ways. He and his friends have a band and they always practice in our garage. My bro plays the drums, and he is pretty good at it.

My mom… what can I say? She is the best mother in the world! Supportive, understanding, caring, great cook, funny, excellent advice giver, good listener… I couldn’t have asked for a better mother!

My dad is my hero, a role model, a family guy, loves sports, always trying to be funny (not always succeeds), kind of protective, but always nice. He is a very friendly person.

And me… well, I am me! Caitlyn, a 22 year old kindergarten teacher who loves music, loves her family, and has gone through though times. Creative, friendly, a big dreamer! Loves singing (even if I am not as good as my sister), drawing, decorating, and making people laugh.

After a two year relationship and plans of getting married me and my boyfriend broke up. I still loved him, but his extreme jealousness caused our relationship to decline. He was too explosive and used to accuse me of being flirty with other guys when I wasn’t; I was too in love to do that! (Orlando Bloom could have been next to him and I wouldn’t even notice it!) Too bad he was too insecure and he could never understand that. With the time I started changing my personality. I went from being an extremely happy person, always with a contagious smile, to being an expressionless zombie who caused people to always ask “Are you ok?” All this caused me depression, I stopped smiling, I stopped being myself. This relationship was not good anymore, it was not healthy, so we decided to end it. It hurt like hell, but it was for the best of both of us. We knew we were made for each other, and destiny would bring us back together… wouldn’t it?

A month after we broke up I found out he found a new girlfriend. I was devastated! And the worst part is that he kept on calling me, looking for me and telling me that he loved me and that he missed me! And even worst… sometimes I believed him…

Though it was hard to move on, to be positive, and even to wake up, my friends and family never gave up on me and helped me to put myself together and be myself again! It took two years, but now I can say that I have my life back.

And now here I am, listening to my brother’s band practice (again) and singing along. I really enjoy it because every now and then they please their #1 fan (me!) playing and singing one of the Simple Plan songs. I love Simple Plan! I have always loved them and their music. I don’t thing I am their #1 fan though, because I don’t really know every single detail about their private life, but I listen to their music every chance I get and I try to keep updated with whatever they are doing at the moment. Simple Plan is one of the many things Hanna (my brother’s girlfriend) and I have in common. She is a huge fan too, probably more than me. In this moment my brother’s band was playing “I’m Just a Kid” for us.

-Wow! They’re awesome!- said Hanna with a little too much enthusiasm.

- Obviously! It’s my brother’s band you’re talking about! Being awesome runs in the family!- I answered.

She laughed and said – Oh well… If you say so…

I made my best offended face and said – Hey! You are soooo not welcome to my house anymore!

-I don’t think your brother will agree with you- She said popping out her tongue.

We laughed as the song ended. We applauded the guys and we all decided we needed a snack, so I volunteered and took them to the mall. We were all squeezed in my car, because it is not big, it’s a cute blue “Attitude” (and I love it!), good thing that the mall was not far from home.

When we arrived we all agreed to go to the ice cream parlor, in front of the music store, and we talked about their dreams and goals as a band. Hanna and I were talking about Simple Plan too, they had a couple of concerts scheduled in our city next week, and we had bought already 3 front row tickets (for my brother, his girlfriend and me) for their first concert in the city. We were extremely excited about it!

I had a good time, just talking, laughing and eating ice cream, even if they were all like seven years younger than me. I guess my inner child never leaves me.

I was having a great time, when suddenly my phone came off. I checked the caller ID… it was a very familiar number… Ben… my ex boyfriend. I started getting nervous, my smile faded. The guys were too busy talking and laughing that they didn’t notice, but inside my head I was having an argument with myself.

-Oh no! Not again! Please don’t do this to me again! Don’t answer the phone!

-But, what if it is important? What if he has something very very important to tell me? What if he needs me?

-Needs you? Needs you? Why would he need you? Would he have a girlfriend if it was YOU who he needed?

-I need to answer! I can’t help missing him! Feeling loved, feeling important… being with him!

-I don’t even know why I’m arguing with you if I know you will end up answering… as always!

The phone stopped ringing, and I couldn’t help to regret not answering, even if I knew it was going to cause me a lot of pain and sadness. I stood up and told the guys I was going to the restrooms. I started to walk slowly, staring at my cell phone in my right hand, hoping he would call again, but at the same time not wanting to hear his voice. And then it happened again, his number appeared in front of my eyes, but this time my hands didn’t give me time to think, they just answered the phone and put it in my ear.

No words came out of my lips.

-Hello?- Ben said, kind of insecure.

No words came from me.

-Caitlyn? Are you there?- Ben asked again.

-Umm… yeah… yeah… hi…-…well, at least I finally said something, didn’t I?

-Are you ok?- he asked, kind of worried.

-Umm… sure, I’m fine… you?- I said trying to increase my vocabulary with every new sentence coming out of my mouth.

-Well, I’m ok, I guess, it’s just that…

-Why are you calling me?- I interrupted him, starting to get a little more nervous.

He chuckled a little –I was about to get to that part- he said with that confidence that always made me melt- I miss you, I miss you so much, you have no idea how much I miss we were together-

-Oh my God! I miss you too!

-No! Don’t tell him that! Please don’t fall for his words again! Don’t do this to yourself! He has a girlfriend! Just hang up right now!

-I can’t! He misses me, I know it’s true!

-Cait? Hello?- He said. I was still walking, and listening, but I just didn’t know what to say.

-Umm… I… miss you too- I said, not sure if it was the best thing to say.

-I wish I could hug you right now, one of those hugs that used to always make me feel better, one of those hugs that made the world disappear around us- He said in a very romantic way. He always knew what to say to make me melt.

-Well, I don’t think that’s possible- I said, wishing it could as I stopped in front of the ladies room, starting to open the door.

-It won’t be possible if you get through that door- He said in a serious tone.

That sentence made me stop. I felt chills in my whole body.

-Wh…wh…what?-I asked not wanting to believe what I had just heard.

-I missed you- he said, sending even more chills through my body.

I slowly turned around, and there he was, at about twenty feet from me, standing there holding his phone to his ear, looking at me with his expressive eyes, and smiling with that sweet smile I loved. Neither of us moved. I was shocked, and I had a weak smile in my lips. He took a step… then another… and another… walking slowly towards me. We both were still holding our cell phones to our ears.

When he was half way there he said –You look so beautiful-

My eyes started filling with water, but I didn’t cry.

He continued getting close to me, looking at me straight in the eye. When he was right in front of me, he closed his cell phone and put it in his pocket, and so did I.

Still looking at me he said –Can I have that hug we talked about?-

Five seconds of silence.

Then I just threw my arms around his neck and closed my eyes, letting his scent fill my lungs.

He left out a sigh and wrapped his arms around my waist, smelling my vanilla scented hair.

-God I missed that smell!- he said in a dreamy voice.

I just left out a deep sigh, with a big smile in my face.

Then he pulled away a little and looked deep into my eyes, sending shivers down my spine. His face came closer to mine until our foreheads were touching.

-I still love you, you know? And I always will- He said in a whisper.

Then his lips touched mine, and he kissed me slowly… and I kissed back… a sweet kiss, lips moving, his hands in my face, mine around his neck… and there was nobody else in the world. I couldn’t hear a voice, I couldn’t hear a sound, everything was perfect, it felt just like the old times, the good times, until… His cell phone came off.

He broke the kiss, I could tell he suddenly tensed up. I saw him checking the caller ID and his faced became worried. He looked at me, my face expressionless, and then he turned and answered the phone, talking very low, I guess he didn’t want me to hear the conversation… but I did.

-Hello?... Yes, I’m still around baby, just went walking around looking to stuff in other stores and I got distracted... are you sure you are done? Don’t you want a little more time?... Are you sure? Because, you know I can wait for you, I’ll keep looking around while you… ok, I’ll meet you there then… I love you too, bye.

-What were you thinking Caitlyn? You knew he had a girlfriend, you knew the way he is, just trying to keep you around! It’s not that he loves you, it’s just that he doesn’t want to completely lose you! All this didn’t mean anything to him Caitlyn! Wake up! He’s just playing with you!

My eyes were filled with tears, and I started crying in silence while I was listening to the conversation. When he hung up he turned to me, trying to pretend that nothing happened. He took a step towards me, but I stopped him whit my hand.

¬-Don’t… why?...- I said, my voice braking.

-Why what?- He asked, obviously not knowing that I heard everything.

-Why do you do this to me? It is always the same! Just when I feel that I am ok, that I am moving on with my life, you appear out of nowhere, making me forget everything I’ve suffered, everything I’ve gone through. Then you make me feel like everything is perfect again, that you love me, that you want to be with me, just to break my heart again!- I was crying, I couldn’t help it, I needed to tell him how I felt.

-Cait, I…- He started to say, but I interrupted him.

-No! You don’t love me! If you did you wouldn’t be doing this to me! You wouldn’t be with her! I don’t even think you love her! It’s been two years Howard, two years! You have been with her for that long, and you always found a way to sneak out and meet with me, to tell me how much you wish you were with me, how much you love me and miss me! To kiss me every chance you get…to make me believe you! You don’t love me, but you don’t love her either, because you wouldn’t be doing this to her if you did! What game are you playing, Ben?- I started being a little too loud and people started looking at us.

-Game? This is not a game, I just…-And then again I cut him off.

-I don’t know what you are trying to do, but please let me out of it! God! Did you ever to this when we were together? Cheating on me with your ex girlfriend?

-No! I would never do that to you! You were everything for me! I…- Silence fell for three seconds. How could I believe that?

-You’ve hurt me too much, and I can’t take it anymore!... Please! If you ever really loved me just leave me alone, stop calling, pretend I don’t exist. I don’t deserve this, and I am pretty sure that she doesn’t deserve it either.- I started calming down a little, but I couldn’t stop crying.

-But, Cait, she is not like you, she…-

-I can’t believe it! You try to find in me what you can’t find in her! One of us is not enough for you, uh?- His eyes fell to the floor, he didn’t know what to say- I don’t know you anymore Benjamin…- And with that I left, trying to cover my teary face from all those people staring.