Damnation

It had been exactly seven years since the day Niamh’s life has changed forever. It had been seven years since the death of her beloved father that once made of her the princess that she no longer could be. It had been seven years since she had been abandoned to the hands of her grandfather, a terrible man that never accepted her in his family, sorry for not having a grandson. It had been seven years since the day her mirror got broken, with the strength of her mind missing her father very much… the pieces of glass were still o the floor, all over the colored carpet she had. Niamh never caught them, to always remember her father, not even in the day that her dreams gave her a new mirror in the same place where that old one had lived for so many years. She didn’t know what happened, but she had fallen asleep with her mirror broken, all over the floor, dreamt about her father’s comforting hand and waken up with a new mirror in her room, much shinier than the old one that was still in the floor, in a thousand pieces. It was like her father had built her a new mirror to watch her from the inside; she believed in that and that’s why she stills smiles at her reflection.
It had been exactly seven years and they had been painful to Niamh, but she couldn’t stop smiling to her dad whenever she saw herself in the mirror. She was just a bag of bones, skinned by the hard work ordered b her grandfather and by the tears shed for her condition. What kept her alive was the flame that lived in the mirror, the memory of her father, and that admiration for that Musician. No one knows how she found him, perhaps not even her, but it doesn’t matter anyhow. Niamh spent most of her time focusing on him, on his music, not to cut herself while she cooked and not to slip while she cleaned the floor of the Major Room.
Her strength, however, wasn’t forever. It had been seven years and her grandfather died. He was old. It could mean freedom for Niamh, what she had desired in secret for many years. The solitude, though, didn’t let her go; she was alone in a mansion which was too big and unknown for a lonely soul like hers. Niamh didn’t want to imagine the dimension of her little shape in the World that was running on the outside as step foots. Her bedroom was a refugee now, when it has already been the opposite: her space of dreaming, imagining, and feeling happy. Not anymore… it was just her and her memories. She and her heartbeat, so weak that seemed like it was about to stop. Niamh wouldn’t mind about that. He sat by her desk, grabbed one of the sheets her father used to write letters on and she started to write…
I am writing this to you, the one and only. The one in who everyone sees The Rev, but I can only see James Sullivan. It’s in your body, it’s in your eyes… or maybe it’s just in mine. Where everyone sees a party animal, another daily drunk guy, I can only see a mastermind.
I am writing this to you, the one and only. The one I want to adore, and I can only think about you. So far away from you, and yet so close to your spirit. I’ve never seen you in front of me, in this real world, but in my dreams, in my nightmares, in my stories, you are always there.
I am writing this to you, but I don’t love you. You’re the one that fills my thoughts, but I can only see you as an idol. The person who inspires me, the soul that strengthens me, the example that makes me battle against all odds. The person I always wanted to be, I see it in you. It may sound weird, but I feel this unique way about you.
However…
Niamh stopped. Her tears were vibrating on her eyes, with so many images flying in her mind. She raised her head and looked outside, through the window. Two little birds were talking gently, and she would swear that they stopped talking because they knew she was watching them. No Niamh was wrong. A black crow appeared form the horizon, soaring with his eyes on her and screaming in such a terrifying way. Her heartbeat and her breath had risen, but they didn’t make her feel more alive…
Niamh continued her writing…
We all know life is a bitch, not to talk about karma, and I regret being born in this damn place. I had to live alone, due to this condition of living in the middle of nowhere -> the place where the properly human evolution hasn’t come yet. I hate it, but I have your figure, your example to fill me through; your music to make me dream, and though I feel ready to abandon this life, it has been closely unreal since the day I first heard you.