Damnation

. She just stares me, looking really sad. She stares me for a long minute. Then she looks to her left, and makes me look to my right, where the window is. The sun is about to disappear in the horizon. I look back to the mirror and she’s staring at me with a small smile, but it’s a sad one though. It makes my heart hurt, and I can’t say why. She points at her and then waves me. Do you have to go?She nods, pointing at the window that shows the rising moon out there. No, wait. She looks at me with so much sadness that I feel my heart breaking in tears. My heart, not my eyes though. No! Niamh… She stares me deep in the eye. Her image is fading away, as mine’s coming back. You have to tell me why you gave me your house. Where are you? Wait! She’s gone, with the sun and the full light. Please…
. There is nothing I can do. The moon is up in the sky now, as if her fading away has taken hours to occur. The light it spreads doesn’t reveal much of the room, but it is enough for me to see where I am.
. I go to the window to see the darken forest. At night, it looks really scary, as is I could see those creatures from the stories and their eyes focused on me. It doesn’t happen though. There’s nothing but the trees out there. If someone really lived here, at this lonely house, it was most likely a solitaire someone.
. I feel time passing by as I review the mirror scene in my mind. I remember every single detail of Niamh’s figure and her movements. I remember every single detail of Niamh’s eyes, every happy and every sad details. It feels terrible to know that I experienced an extraordinary moment, so close to those things they show in movies or describe in stories. Am I living a tale? I don’t know… Everything that happens to me doesn’t seem real, that’s true; nevertheless my body feels every spot of this air that surrounds me, as if it is material.
. I feel tired now. The things that happened in this room were so intense that my body, heart, mind and soul are intolerably tired. In fact, the night is here now, with the moon up there in the sky. It isn’t full moon, I see now, but it’s really close. Maybe tomorrow night, or the night after tomorrow, the moon will be completely full and appearing to me and every man in its major splendor.
. I feel tired now, and it’s bigger than anything else. My heartbeat is calm, my breath is regular, my thoughts are simple. I look at the bed where I last woke up and I walk towards it, undressing everything I wear: pants, t-shirt and boxers. I don’t know why, my body seems to do it without any help from my brain. I lay down and the cold touch of the sheets feels odd, though sweet, as a female skin. I suddenly think of Leana. Leana… I totally forgot her during my adventures in this house. Now I miss her, not understanding why I got away from her so unexpectedly, and wondering if she noticed I’m not with her now… Leana…
. As my eyes start to close, I feel the blanket and the sheet going up, as if someone is lying next to me. It happens in my back, and I don’t have the courage to look and see who’s there. I feel an unpredicted warmness on my back and a mouth breathing in my neck, but it’s far too warm and comforting to even be compared to the other situations that happened before. It feels as if someone is holding me and it gives me the chills through all my body. My curiosity is killing me, I want to know who is so close to my skin, but I’m afraid that this amazing feeling simply disappears the moment I turn around.** Suddenly I wonder if someone was controlling me when I was getting naked just before laying down. This moment kinda explains why I wasn’t able to stop my hands back then. Something or someone had previously planned this instant, and it starts to scare me. I don’t want anything (or anyone, I don’t know) to control me. I don’t want any haunting creature in my life… Although this sensation is pretty good, I know it can’t last forever, and it ends the moment I close my eyes…

. I’m in front of a huge house. I can call it a mansion… The door is big enough for five men to enter at the same time; high enough for a giant to walk in. It hasn’t too many windows in its outer surface, which is really dark and kinda scary. Behind me there’s a forest and I feel some sort of a shadow moving. I turn around and see it, as I start to chase it though my throat is pretty closing and stopping the air to come into my lungs. I don’t know what this shade is, but if it’s running away from me there must be a reason and I must know. My throat suddenly opens, as I walk away from the house, and I get faster now, almost touching it, and seeing that it is the girl from the mirror. Niamh… I don’t really see her face but I recognize her hair and her dress while she runs. She gets faster than me again and I’m forced to accelerate as I feel my heart lightening my mind because I have this possibility of questioning her about everything. If I ever catch her, she will talk to me. I’m sure.
. “Niamh!” I call her but she doesn’t stop. I try to run as fast as I can, seeing her in a slower running now. I know I get one chance of reaching her and I can’t loose it. I try to grab a piece of her dress, which is pulled back by her speed, but I miss it. Damn. I force my legs to run faster, my lungs claiming for more air, and I almost grab a portion of her hair, but suddenly… I think I touch it, but my throat is closing again and I have to stop running, and her shadow goes away.
. I feel like crying, as my throat relaxes again, letting me breath easily. I don’t know why my body doesn’t work with my mind, as usual. Something is definitely wrong… I feel like crying and I look down to my feet, I wear no shoes, but I’ve been running over sweet wild grass. I look around and see nothing but trees, no shadow, no house, no animals. And I hear no sound… I look up, trying to see the sky but the sunlight blinds me. As I look down again, my eyes catch Niamh’s image standing there and staring me. I stare her too and smile, but she doesn’t smile back. Then I get up to try to walk towards her and when I look again, her image was already evaporating. Her sad eyes staring mine, her tears pouring down her cheeks, her hands by her side, she does nothing as I run and try to touch her before she completely fades away…

** based on true events