Damnation

. Leana has a brown paper in her hand. I nod my head, trying to tell her I don’t know what it is. It looks like an envelope…
. “It fell from your luggage” she says.
. “Are you sure?”
. I have no idea what it is, what this means. It may be something from the guys, I don’t know. I get up and walk towards her and that weird thing. I’m sure I look confused, because that’s how I feel. I grab it and some sort of chill goes down my spine. I look at Leana while I open it and I read in her eyes her confusion and inquisition about what it is. It has what seems like a royal patch in one corner, I do not recognize that mysterious symbol…
. “I am writing this to you…” I read as I stare my wife again, trying to understand what it is. I start over.
. “I am writing this to you, the one and only. The one where everyone sees The Rev, but I can only see James Sullivan. It’s in your body, it’s in your eyes… or maybe it’s just in mine. Where everyone sees a party animal, another daily drunk guy, I can only see a mastermind.
. I am writing this to you, the one and only. The one I want to adore, and I can only think about you. So far away from you, and yet so close to your spirit. I’ve never seen you in front of me, in this real world, but in my dreams, in my nightmares, in my stories, you are always there.
. I am writing this to you, but I don’t love you. You’re the one that fills my thoughts, but I can only see you as an idol. The person who inspires me, the soul that strengthens me, the example that makes me battle against all odds. The person I always wanted to be, I see it in you. It may sound weird, but I feel this unique way about you.
. However…
. I don’t understand this letter, and Leana is staring at me with some sort of a jealous look in her eyes. I carry on…
. We all know life is a bitch, not to talk about karma, and I regret being born in this damn place. I had to live alone, due to this condition of living in the middle of nowhere  the place where the properly human evolution hasn’t come yet. I hate it, but I have your figure, your example to fill me through; your music to make me dream, and though I feel ready to abandon this life, it has been closely unreal since the day I first heard you.
. I am Niamh, I have the name of an old character, and I’ve always lived in this house. My entire family calls it a Mansion… I’ve never seen the moon or the stars shining right on my face, but I guess it is the way it must be. I will see them now. I’ve never seen a stranger, my grandfather is really overprotective. He won’t be anymore, not now. I own this house, I can do whatever I want with it. It opens up a wide freedom I felt only in my diary, or in my stories, or in my mirror…
. I own this house now, but I don’t want it. It seems useless, so much empty space for one simple girl without a future… That’s why I want you to own it, and do whatever you want with it. I give you what was once my home, the place that has been my life, where I have lived my cruel reality but also my fantasies. I give it to you in free will. Everyone knows it, my soul yells it to the world as my pen writes these words for your eyes to read. My house is now yours. Find it and you might find me too. Find it and I’ll give my life for you. Treat it with the respect I’ve always dedicated to you… Find it and feel at home. Home is where your heart is…
. I say my goodbyes in this letter, but I will definitely wait for you to come. No matter what your decision is, I know that *indiscernible words*

So much love,
your fan Niamh”

. “What the hell does it mean?”
. This is Leana, asking me. I don’t know. I think it but I can’t say it. I’m still focused on that handwriting so beautiful and on that letter so disturbing. Who is Niamh?
. “Who is Niamh?” Leana asks, doubtless reading my mind.
. “I don’t know” I finally say.
. I’m thinking about it, while the letter is wide open in my hands. I can’t read the last line, probably the most important to understand this mystery.
. Yes, it was a mystery: an envelope that simply pops up from nowhere (“this condition of living in the middle of nowhere”), a strange letter that seems to carry a story of unhappiness, two minds thinking about it without any conclusion.
. I go and sit again on the couch, as I try to make my mind up about what this mystifying missive means. I’m hungry, I can’t think on an empty stomach.