Damnation

. I wake up.
. “Where am I?”
. It’s my first thought as I open my eyes. I don’t recognize this bed, I don’t recognize this room. Where’s my beautiful wife, the one next to whom I fell asleep? My conscience is killing me with the memories of Niamh’s letter, why now? I don’t know where I am, what happened to my house?
. I should try to find an explanation... right?
. The bed is huge; four columns of a light piece of wood surround the white sheets. As I get up, I see the white walls and the white furniture. Where am I? I see a window... I take a look outside and I only see lonely trees. I look back to the bed. I’m confused, and I’m starting to get scared. Let’s go... I’m only with my boxers on, and I don’t want to go out like this. I don’t know where I am, I don’t know what or who’s behind the door that ends this room. However, I don’t see any of my clothes here, what happened? Fuck! I search everywhere, on the bed, under the bed, in the closet, in every place possible... Everything’s empty. I look through the window again, the confusion is killing me and Niamh’s words come back to my mind (”this condition of living in the middle of nowhere”). I look again to the bed as my eyes are starting to burn from the tears that break me down, but don’t pour. Suddenly, for no reason, I perceive a chair. It has my clothes over it. How did this get here?! I know I haven’t seen this chair before, I would swear it hasn’t been here since I woke up – but how?
. “James, stop. You’re being paranoid.” I say to myself.
. I dress my recently found clothes as I try to be rational. I fell asleep at home, after making love with Leana. Leana... I remember I had a dream, it probably was a nightmare because I woke up abruptly, but I don’t know what it was about. This happens a lot, knowing we dreamt about something but not recognizing the scenes. I woke up... in this place, this unrecognizable place. Now that I’m ready, I’m going to leave this room and explore the area, trying to find some sort of a way out of this place, wherever I am.
. I open the door. There’s a corridor. It doesn’t seem to have an end but I have to try. I can’t be stopped by this mess of place, I must be strong if I want to solve this mystery. Another mystery so suddenly, one after another, and I haven’t found out who Niamh is and what she wants...
. I close the door on my back. I’m on the corridor. In one direction, there’s a light; on the other side, there’s just darkness. I will never go to the darkness, it’s so careless. I go for the light, hoping that she leads me to my home, to my wife. There’s so many doors in each side of the corridor; I can’t open them all, it would take me forever. The light is still far away from me, I can’t get any closer to it, but the darkness on the other side is chasing me. I want to run but my legs don’t obey my mind. I keep walking, in my solitude, in my fear. The darkness is almost touching my hair and the light’s however at the same distance.
. Afraid of what could happen if that darkness caught me, I open one door randomly. I go in and close the door behind me. Another door closing in my back... I’m in another room: there’s a small bed, a desk loaded with papers and a mirror on the wall. There’s also a bunch of paintings on the floor, I take a look at them and they show me a forest, and a little girl dressed in red, and a couple dressed in black, and an old woman who smiles at me as if she can see me through the ink. It gives me the chills, I feel every little hair on my neck standing up, and so I put the paintings back where I found them. I look through the single window that lightens the room and again I can only see lonely trees...
. I don’t want to loose my self in this place for eternity. I just wanna go back to Leana’s hug. Leana...
. “Where the fuck am I?!” I keep saying to myself.
. I leave the room, and the corridor seems to have stopped in time. The darkness is still waiting for me, to grab me, to consume me while I try to reach the light that will possibly save me.