Learn to Spell, God!

Johnny's POV.

"Ahhhh Canada!" Matt sang, opera style. Maybe that was our new direction for songs when it comes to writing new songs!

We were officially in Canada! The land of maple syrup and moose. Or so I am told. We've done a fair few shows here, but for everyone other than Jenn, this is new territory. We were planning to make a few stops whilst we were here. Not that we hadn’t made some on our way.

The girls demanded we spent a day in Hollywood. They came up with some very graphic threats, not to mention Danni holding the large knife from the kitchen to prove a point. Note to self; remove all sharp silver wear from bus at next rest station.

To be fair, a day in Hollywood was just what we needed. The girls have settled into stardom well now, and are used to being chased by fans. The novelty of being on tour with us has worn off for them I think though. We were walking down Hollywood boulevard and the girls spotted a famous figure, all the way from the UK.

“Fuck me, it’s Russell Brand!” Danni gasped. All eyes darted in the direction she was facing.

“Russell Brand! Oh my God!” Pippa squealed. Before we could stop them, they were chasing after him, around a corner.

When we caught up, we found him with his arms around Sophie and Layla, having pictures taken. I was unfortunate enough to have Brian and Zack both sides of me, and felt them both tense up and growl slightly. He was flirting, making them laugh and posing inerratic erotic ways for the photo’s. The two planted a kiss delicately on his cheeks, and had them returned. The rest of us had to stop Brian and Zack charging on and causing a scene. We knew the girls weren’t doing it on purpose, but that didn’t stop jealousy over powering Brian and Zack.

“Nice meeting you girls!” He waved at them, before turning on his boot heal and leaving in sweep of back combed hair.

Brian and Zack pulled their members of Pure Poison closer to them. The girls ignored the scowls on their faces and copied the others in showing them the autographs and pictures they had gotten.

We were now at a rest station, for our caffeine re-stock and use of a real toilet. It looked like Brian and Zack had calmed down. No one seemed to have noticed our stop, because they were all continuing their previous activities.

Matt and Pippa were in the middle of a very loud Guitar Hero battle, and Danni was ‘referee’ which included dancing around to all the songs, singing rather badly. Jenn and Jimmy were having a staring contest. Every time I looked over there they were still glaring intently at each other. No one could go three hours without blinking! They must be going for best out of one hundred . . . And Sophie was straddling Brian’s waist, experimenting with new stage makeup ideas by the looks of it. He had probably only agreed because she needed to sit like that on him. I laughed out loud at the thought, causing a few questioning looks to be shot my way.

*

Five minutes until show time, and we’re playing truth or dare. It was relatively uneventful. However, Pippa had donated her bra to Zacky. It just so happens that Zack has to perform with Pippa’s bra on over his T-shirt now. Pippa doesn’t have jump around the stage bra-less though, because she was smart and brought two with her. Coincidence much?

“C’mon girlies! Time to stun Canada.” JB was at the door, head set on.

Just before the girls went on stage, we stopped them. They had another theme night for this show; dress like your boyfriend. Yes, they were going on stage in our clothes today. Almost matching our own outfits. We thought it would be fun to give them a proper entrance, especially seeing as this was a whole new gig arena for all but one of them.

I grabbed Danni’s waist, using a near by amp to help me, I hoisted her onto my shoulders. The others had managed to get the girls on theirs, so it was time to make our entrance.

“Achhoooo!” Brian stumbled, falling forward into Matt and Jason Berry to keep his balance. “Bless me!” Sophie sniffed.

“That was close!” Pippa laughed. “It’s a long way down to fall, Sophie!”

“I trust Brian Elwin Haner with my life.” Sophie giggled, holding tightly onto a bar on the wall in case Brian did fall.

“Dude, you got middle named!” I had to try hard to not fall over with laughing so much.

“Onward!” Layla ordered Zack, who charged forward onto the stage. Cue screams.

I placed Danni in front of her bass carefully. Before I was offstage, a chorus of laughter erupted; I turned to see Danni with my jeans around her ankles, blushing violently. Maybe I shouldn’t have leant her baggy jeans . . .

“Hello Toronto!” Pippa yelled. “Y’all have to pay extra for that peep show!”

We headed back, and waited for their set to finish. This was first time we hadn’t stayed to watch it. It was strange being sat in the dressing room, with nothing to do but wait. How would the girls fair without us watching them on stage?

“How do girls walk around with these things on all day?” Zacky complained, re arranging the bra and pulling his top down underneath it.

“I always knew you were a transvestite, Zack.” Matt chuckled, opening the fridge and passing around beers.

*

“I can’t go out there in this!” Sophie complained, gesturing wildly to the state she was in. Part way through their performance, Layla had gone to throw her half empty water bottle into the crowd. Being severely uncoordinated though, it slipped out of her hands and flew backwards, soaking Sophie.

“It’s not that bad.” Danni re assured her, stiffling giggles.

“You can see my bright pink bra, because it’s a white top. And my hair is going curly!” She pouted, and then squeezed a few drops of water from the top.

“The fans will love it! You can give them all soggy hugs.” Brian bundled her up in his arms.

We walked out of the stage door, to the familiar sound of screams. Metal barriers lined the walk way to our escape. But we weren’t going to go without keeping the fans happy. Pure Poison were already posing for pictures and signing body parts; one guy looked like he was about to get Danni to sign is ass-crack, so I had to intervene.

“You’re gonna get shitty hands.” I teased. She flipped me off and continued signing the guys rear-end.

I felt a tapping on my shoulder and turned to see a group of girls, behind the barrier, smiling widely at me. It’s a bit scary when they flutter their eyelashes innocently, as if they’re not about to ask for, like, ten autographs. I took the sharpie one of them had produced and began working my way through 3 different copies of ‘City of Evil’, possibly ten T-shirts and a toy sword. Totally weird.

I returned to Danni, making several detours for pictures and more signing of really random objects. I swear these gigs get more and more surreal every day. I covered Danni’s eyes with my hands, hoping she’d guess it was me. I felt her cheeks crease into a smile, she took a breath before she spoke and,

“Ha! This’ll teach you!” Sophie jumped in front of Danni, a water pistol in her hands. A jet of water hit Danni, and I removed my hands just before Sophie soaked her face.

I stood to the side, waiting for Danni’s reaction. Her make up was running down her face as she stood, shocked into a paralytic state. Sophie was doubling over with laughter and the fans around all had cameras out and were either gasping or laughing along with Sophie.

A bottle of water landed at Danni’s feet, causing a malicious grin to play on her lips. This wasn’t going to be pretty. She traced the inside of her left cheek with her tongue, bending to retrieve the bottle. Slowly, she unscrewed the lid and the evil grin consumed her make up stained features.

“Run, bitch.” She whispered, loud enough for Sophie to hear. It was Sophie’s turn to grin now, she whipped around and ran, screaming and giggling. And so Danni ran after her, yelling profanities after the red-head, this was followed shortly by a loud cheer, another scream . . . and another.

The two returned, Danni sprinting from an even wetter Sophie. Danni stopped next to me, holding her hands up in defeat. She never struck me as one to give in so easily.

“I’m sorry.” She gasped, between giggles and getting her breath back.

“Me too.” Sophie agreed, smiling in a friendlier manor.

“Thank God! The last thing we needed was a fully blown water fight!” I laughed, stepping between the two of them, signalling for their weapons to be surrendered.

I saw Danni and Sophie’s eyes sparkle. Before I could run, two jets of freezing cold water hit me and the two ran off in the direction of the bus, not before bowing to their audience and giving high-fives to fans they passed.

I should have seen that one coming.