Learn to Spell, God!

Sophie’s POV

Ahh, Caledonia. Sounds like a nice place, doesn’t it? It’s rather big though. If I go out and venture around the city, I have a feeling that I may get lost.

“Eww, Sophie! Why, pray tell, are the minstrels all squished together?” Layla opened the bag of minstrels and recoiled.

“Well now, they have been squished between my legs for the past half hour.” I laughed.

“Sophie Heaviside, you disgust me, you really do.” She shook her head and took a minstrel anyway, before returning the bag. I was about to reply but a cry of ‘skivies’ came from the bunk area.

I looked around and saw Pippa come running down the stairs with a pair of Matt’s boxers tied around a stick that she was waving around like a flag. Shortly afterwards, Matt came thundering down after her, clutching a towel that was hanging precariously low on his hips. Pippa had already skipped over to the side of the bus we were on and sat down with us. Matt looked like he was about to run over and rape Pippa continuously but Danni appeared behind him and, with a cheeky smile, whipped his towel from around his hips. I quickly averted my eyes, but not quickly enough. Surely enough, I caught a glimpse of his ‘crown jewels’. All I can say is- Pippa’s incredibly lucky, she’s got a guy with a huge ‘talent’. I heard Danni and Layla giggle, obviously they were enjoying the ‘peep-show’.

“Oi! No staring at my man!” Pippa exclaimed, throwing Matt’s boxers back to him and slapping Danni and Layla around their heads.

“It’s not my fault she decided to rid him of his towel!” Layla protested weakly, pointing at Danni. Matt had disappeared to the bunk area, blushing tremendously, clutching his towel around his waist with one hand and the boxers in the other. Jenn passed Matt on the stairs with a bemused look on her face.

“What’s been going on there then, eh?” Jenn raised one of her eyebrows and made her way over to where we were sitting, all laughing as if we would never be able to laugh again.

“She….he….boxers!” I spluttered in between laughs.

“Okay then….you’re all crazy.” Jenn rolled her eyes and ‘delicately’ threw herself onto Layla’s lap.

“What was that for?” Layla complained, trying and failing to shift Jenn’s weight off of her.

“You have a note pad. And, you know the saying.” Jenn replied cryptically.

“What saying?” Pippa asked, joining their conversation. Jenn raised her eyebrows at Layla.

“Oh! That saying! What about it?” Layla asked.

“Write it down!” Jenn rolled her eyes in desperation.

“H’okay then.” Layla obliged and picked up her notebook and pen before writing down a complex sentence in her ‘neatest’ handwriting. After she finished, she held it up to show Jenn, with a questioning look on her face.

“What is the saying, already?!” Pippa exclaimed, exasperated. Layla turned to notepad towards us so we could read it. Sticks and stones may break our bones but whips and chains excite us. So get a rope and tie us up and show us that you love us! I read that and burst out laughing again. “And why is said saying needed?”

“You shall see, Pippa dearest.” Jenn took the notepad from Layla and shifted her weight so that they could both be seen before she held the paper in front of them. “JIMMY! ZACKY! HERE, NOW!” She screamed. Zacky and Jimmy came running down from the bunks, tripping over each other as the went, and rolling down the rest of a stairs in a bundle.

“What’s the rush?” Jimmy asked frantically, brushing himself down as he stood up.

Jenn motioned to the paper she was holding and both of their eyes scanned the words, their faces lighting up as they read more. After they had finished reading, they ran over to the couch and pulled Jenn and Layla up, bright-eyed and eager. Zacky’s lips became attached to Layla’s neck at the same time as Jimmy whisked Jenn away to the bunk area.

“Zack, have I ever told you vampirism makes me horny?” She smirked. Zacky looked up with an evil glint in his eyes. He picked her up and ran in the same direction Jenn and Jimmy had just disappeared to.

“It looks like we’re in for a very long day today.” I sighed.

“That may be true. But, nothing like a game of strip poker to pass the time, eh?” Pippa hinted.

“Tres vrai Pippa, tres vrai.” I agreed.

“MATT! JOHNNY! BRIAN!” We three yelled at the same time.