Learn to Spell, God!

Danni’s POV.

We had to run, fast. Scream was very near the end of the guys set, so it didn’t give us long to change back into our normal clothes. But because our boyfriends seemed to have an unexplainable need to un-do our bikini tops at every opportunity, we thought we’d get pay back. When we seek a vengeance, we sure as hell make it the best damn thing ever.

We’ve stolen their clothes.

We each had our own man’s clothes in our arms as we ran for our lives towards the tour bus. The fans screamed when they saw us. We put our fingers to our lips, signalling they keep quiet and don’t give away our antics. It seemed to work. We made it back to the side of the stage very breathless, but just in time to watch the end of Afterlife. I wish they’d play Brompton Cocktail more often – it’s my favourite song by them.

The guys ran of stage all sweaty and sticky ready to hug us. Normally I hate hugging sweaty people, but because I was equally as icky as them, it didn’t matter so much. I gave Johnny’s ass a quick squeeze as we walked to the dressing room.

“Give us five minutes.” Jimmy said before closing the door in front of us.

“I don’t see why we can’t watch them really. We’ve all seen Matt stark naked anyway.” Jenn giggled, receiving a slap from Pippa at the mention of Matt’s . . . incident.

“. . . THE FUCK!” We stepped back from the door upon hearing the outburst, pressing against the wall anticipating what the guys would do.

“Where are our clothes?” Brian stormed out first, holding a towel securely round his hips. No chance of any repercussions of the ‘Matt Prank’ as it had now been labelled.

“Aren’t they in their? They were when we got changed.” Sophie kept an angelic aura about her, even though her eyes were glinting maliciously.

“Give them back.” Johnny growled. They were all lined up in front of us now, anger blazing through their words.

“This is payment.” Layla stated, un-phased by the glares we were all receiving. “You have some weird obsession for boobs, so we thought that we preferred you in your board shorts.”

Growls came from all five of them, intimidating me slightly but I held my ground. Matt lurched forward at Pippa and slung her over his shoulder. I saw the same motion happen three other times before I was suddenly balanced over Johnny’s. The took us through to the changing rooms and I saw from my very odd angle in the air, Brian standing in a corner with his back to everyone, pulling up his board shorts and ditching the towel. Sophie raised herself slightly and waved at her fellow band mates, giving me the thumbs up. We loved messing with these guys.

We were marched, still held in the iron grip of Avenged Sevenfold, outside to the screaming fans. They were even louder when they saw the guy still half naked, and us thrown over their shoulders. We had suddenly stopped, and I could see the bemused expressions on the other girls’ faces.

“Anyone willing to tell us where these crafty minxes’s hid our clothes?” Silence. Dead silence. That has to be a first. At least they kept their promise to not tell.

We were moving once again, stopping occasionally for photos, I think. And once again, we came to a dead hault. There was music playing, and someone singing. A male by the sounds of it. Sophie suddenly gave a squeal of excitement as she heard the man sing . . .

Saw you at the baseball game, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
You and my best buddy were sittin’ side by side.
When you reached into his sack I felt a pain inside my guts.
Now your kisses taste just like my best friends salty nuts.

Salty nuts,
Salty nuts.
You sucked ‘um till you couldn’t suck no more.
Your cheeks were packed . . . with salty nuts.
It was like you never tasted nuts before.

“PAPA GATES!” I heard Sophie yell.

There was a small commotion and I was suddenly released and replaced back on my feet. Brian was embracing a man with a guitar. They looked oddly similar. And Sophie was then pulled into the hug whilst the rest of us gathered around the man.

“It’s about time I got to meet my son’s new girlfriend really. Not to mention these lovely ladies you lads seemed to have picked up.”

“OH MY GOD!” I couldn’t help myself. A legend was stood before me.

I started jumping up and down uncontrollably, as the other members of Pure Poison suddenly realised who the man was. As soon as we had all recovered from our little scene, we were each pulled into a hug with our boyfriends and Bryan Haner Senior.

“What are you doing here, Dad?” Brian asked, opening the door to the bus.

We filed in and spread ourselves across the lounge area. We were settled in for the night, and by the looks of things Senior was joining us for a portion of our tour. I was slowly drifting off, letting the conversations become a back ground noise when I heard someone giggling. This wasn’t the normal giggling that accompanied the Sevenfold bus; this was . . . a male giggling. How weird.

“Sucking on my nuts. Sliding on them nuts. Sucking, fucking, grinding down on them nuts!”

Jimmy was stood on the table in the middle of the lounge, rapping. The giggles were coming from Zacky, who was red in the face trying to regulate his breathing. The rest of the room was in a similar state. Sophie was doubled up, gripping the chair tightly.

“Sophie’s stopped breathing . . . anyone care to save her?” I waited for them to calm down. “No? Okay, I’ll have to perform mouth to mouth then.” I smirked, knowing what responce I’d get.

“No you won’t!” Sophie and Brian yelled in unison.

“Yes she will!” Johnny was on his feet now. “Dude, girl on girl action.”

“Danni and Sophie’s lesbian love affair has been revealed to the world!” Layla laughed.

Sophie narrowed her eyes at Layla, getting up and pulling me into her.

“Just because we like boobs more than penis.”

“Okay . . . and this is slightly awkward.” Bryan Senior chuckled from his seat. “Y’all aren’t serious?”

“Since when have we ever been serious?” Matt said, obviously referring to Jimmy’s rap, among other things.

“So . . . how long are you gonna be on the road with us?” Pippa asked, staring in admiration at Brian’s dad.

“Depends. I’ll be gone quicker than you think. I couldn’t survive until July on this bus. I’m truly surprised at how clean it still is.”

“Women . . .” The member of Avenged Sevenfold chorused.

Absolutely bloody typical!

“They even banned smoking on the bus!” Zacky looked like he was going to cry.

“That’s not a bad thing though is it?” Sophie rolled her eyes. It had been her who had insisted they didn’t smoke on the bus, for Layla’s sake mainly. I’m quite glad she stopped them; my clothes don’t smell of smoke now it is prohibited.

“You girls must be special!” Senior laughed. “I tried, and failed, obviously, to stop them smoking on the bus when they first started.”

“We’re not gonna hang round with guys who smell of smoke, or who have ash tray breath. They must love us lots.” I pointed out.

“You got them to give up all together?!” He sounded very surprised.

We all let a smug smile eat up our faces. It really was too easy to get them to stop. They love women and sex more than tobacco.