You're My Nicotine

October read the problem on her worksheet and wrote down the answer underneath it, adding in an equation to show her working. She never really liked Math, but today she found herself concentrating on the work more than she usually did. It was something to distract her from her shitty week so far, she guessed.

A folded note landed on her desk, stopping her reading, and she immediately thought of Aidan. Passing notes was something the two of them used to do in the early years of high school. As she remembered back to those better days, a thought sprang to mind.

None of this shit would be happening if he was still here.

October unfolded the piece of paper and read what was written in blue capital letters.

'PLEASE DON'T IGNORE US, WE ONLY CARE ABOUT YOU'

Without moving her head, her eyes flew up to Hazel sat two desks in front on the row next to her. She was glancing back with a small smile. October wasn't in the mood for talking to her friends for what they had gone and done the day before. She had completely blanked them both that morning as she passed them by the lockers.

She screwed up the note and left it in the top corner of her desk before getting back to the worksheet waiting to be finished. At the end of the class, October grabbed her bag and headed straight out of the room, down the corridor, ignoring the calls of her name from behind.

"October!" Hazel cried and grabbed her arm to turn her around, "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm just looking out for you!"

"Yeah, well I can look out for myself," October replied harshly, "I don't need a guardian angel, thank you." She turned around again but Hazel pulled her back.

"What has gotten into you?" she said, "I'm your friend, I'm meant to worry about you!"

"Friend?" October repeated her word, "Maybe you should look up the definition for friend. Friends don't go behind each other's backs and tell on them."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know know what else to do! You had us trapped and I was scared..."

"Leave me alone, that's what you could have done," she replied, "I'm not a little girl, I don't need ordering around."

"I know you don't, but-"

"This conversation is over," October butt in, "Have a good day."

Hazel watched in anger as October walked away from her like she didn't give a flying fuck. Letting out a groan of frustration, Hazel turned on her heel and headed to her next class.

That afternoon after school, October was back at Walker's, feeling more and more depressed. She thought about what Frank had said the day before, replaying the conversation over and over in her head.

What right did he have to tell her who she hung out with? What right did anyone have?

It was her life and she could do what the fuck she wanted with it.

Crouching down on the floor in front of her, Scott noticed that October's eyes had watered as she sat deep in thought on the leather sofa in the living room. She had been distant, not very talkative. Something was definately on her mind.

"What's wrong, pretty girl? Why so sad?" he asked sweetly.

October sniffled a little and breathed, "I just want everything to be okay again."

"It'll all work out in the end," he replied, "It always does."

"Yeah, right..."

Scott sighed quietly, "Want something to forget about it?"

October wiped away the single tear that had escaped, and nodded.

"Okay, I'll be right back..."

She was surprised when Walker didn't return with a white powder, but with two syringes, one each. She didn't know if she was ready for something like that, but he reasured her it was the best stuff to make her feel better. Deciding she was sick of feeling shit, agreed to have some, watching as he injected himself.

Scott put October's upper arm through a belt, using it to bring up the main vein like he just had done to himself.

"Now this is only if you're sure you want to," he told her, gently flicking the syringe he held.

"I'm sure," she nodded, although there was a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.

As Scott carefully pushed the needle into her skin and slowly began injecting the clear liquid, October closed her eyes and tilted her head back slightly, taking in the Heroin, feeling it in her blood. She had never felt more alive at that moment and everything faded out of her mind, all the things that she didn't want to deal with, forgotten. School forgotten, her 'legendary' father forgotten, her worried mother, her demanding friends...

Frank's words, forgotten. In just a moment.

It wasn't long before October and Walker were both giggling to each other, their heads buzzing delightfully. Everything was good again, no one was there to stand in their way. They felt free from the world.

"Music is needed," mumbled Scott and crawled over to the surround sound stereo.

Soon Atreyu were blasting out all of the speakers around the room and Scott pulled October to her feet to dance. They laughed together as the two of them went crazy on the floor, stumbling here and there.

The music seemed so much louder than it was with the high surging through October. It was booming around her, Alex Varkatzas' screaming sending her ear drums into spasms. This was just the way she liked it and she was having the time of her life.

But it soon went downhill.

"Do you know what this is?" Scott asked as he opened the safe in the wall and took out a metal object.

Her vision may have started to blur, but October knew full well that he was holding a gun.

"It's a .45," he said without waiting for an answer, "My dad's security weapon." He held it between both hands and pointed it straight at October.

Flashbacks brought her back to when Aidan was stood at gun point the night he was killed.

"NO!" she yelled.

"What?" Scott asked, and chuckled, "Don't worry, I won't shoot."

"Put it away, Walker, that's not funny..."

"Hands up!" he smirked.

"Put it away!"

Scott dropped the gun from her target. "Christ, chill out, would ya? I don't even think it's loaded..." he trailed off and took a shot at a cushion on the sofa, sending a bullet straight into the fluff and causing October to yelp in shock. "Hey, what do you know? It is," he chuckled again.

"Walker, please," October pleaded, "You don't want to do anything stupid."

"Stupid?" he smirked, stepping towards her, "You think I'm gonna do something stupid because I've got Heroin pumping through my veins?" He gasped sarcastically in her face with his free hand clasped over his mouth, the other holding the lethal weapon at his side.

"Stop it," she barely whispered, "Come on, put it back."

Scott grinned at the frightened look on her face. "Aw, is pretty girl scared?" he mocked, "Is she scared of a little gun?"

"I've had a bad experience..."

"Well maybe we should replay it and that'll help you fight your fear?"

October began taking small steps backwards, "I'd rather not."

"Oh, come on," he pushed, taking small steps forward, "It'll be fun."

"No, stop it..."

"Come on, talk me through it."

"No!"

"Was it like this?" he said and held the gun to her chest.

"Get it away from me!" October swatted it away with her hand.

"Ooh, so feisty," he sniggered.

"Get the fuck away from me, Walker," she said, her voice shakey.

"Don't be such a pussy." He moved the tip of the gun up to her neck.

"Get away!" she screamed and threw her fist in his face with all the might she could muster, stumbling in the process but managing to send him flying to the floor.

Shocked by her sudden outburst, Scott put a finger to his split lip and pulled it away to see blood. Though he didn't feel the pain, he knew it was there, and wasn't going to let her get away with it.

October's breathing stopped when his eyes flew up to hers. Their anger-fuelled rage was burning into her and he slowly got back on his feet.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?" he demanded to know.

"Just... just p-put the gun away," she squeaked, wishing she was anywhere else but there.

"No," he said, "Why in fuck's name should I?" He started stepping towards her again and she stepped back, knowing that her back would soon hit the wall. When it did, she shrieked in panic, and Scott leaned in close.

"Maybe I should shoot you right here," he said, pressing the tip of the gun to her stomach, their faces inches apart, "Teach you a lesson."

"Please, I'm sorry," she barely whispered, her whole body shaking and her eyes glazed over.

He stared straight into the glossy green and gave out a raspy laugh, his hot breath hitting her nose. He seemed to be a whole different person. The drug must have brought out this side of him and October didn't like it.

In the corner of her eye, October spotted an empty vase on the table next to them. She wasted no time in picking it up and shoving it into the side of his head with a loud grunt. The smashed pieces of glass fell to the floor just like his body did, only this time he didn't get back up.

The terrified teenager stared down at him, wide-eyed. Her trembling legs were the only thing keeping her standing, and they weren't going to hold up for much longer.

Why wasn't he moving? Had she killed him?

Knowing she couldn't wait around to find out, she turned and staggered out the front door. She may have been wasted, but she knew she had to get out of there. Trying her best to run, she made it to the front gate, a little taller than her, to find it locked. She tried desperately to lift up the hatch but her fingers wouldn't work, and she gave up with a panicked sigh.

October decided she would climb up, and with the last of her energy, heaved herself over the metal gate, falling through the air and finally landing in the flowerbed at the bottom. Panting viciously, she realised her body wouldn't let her move anymore, and just laid within the plants, forcing her eyes to stay open.

Gerard looked over to the other side of the recording room in the studio at Frank.

"What's with him today?" Bob asked beside him, looking over at the troubled band mate polishing his guitar, unaffected and unfazed to everything going on around him.

"I'm not sure," Gerard replied. He couldn't help but notice the lack of, anything, radiating off Frank. Finally, wanting know what was keeping his friend down, he moved across the room.

"Hey, man," he offered gently, "Is everything cool?"

Without taking his focus off of his guitar, Frank replied, "Yeah, everything's cool."

"Are you sure?" Gerard asked, not believing him, "It's just we haven't really been hanging out today, I mean, you haven't really said anything..."

"I'm fine, really."

Gerard watched as his best friend turned the white guitar over and continued to polish the back side. Frank couldn't keep anything from Gerard, Gerard knew when something was wrong. Knowing Frank wasn't just going to blurt it out, he broke it down to what he thought was bothering him.

"Has it got something to do with October?" Gerard asked, and realised he was right when Frank stopped what he was doing, "Is there something going on between you two?"

Frank finally looked up at Gerard. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hard on her, but Frank didn't want to see her throw her life away, he just couldn't. He didn't know why he cared about October Armstrong so much, but once seeing her for the first time after four years, he felt he couldn't keep away.

Why was he feeling like this?

"What's happened, man?" asked Gerard.

Frank dropped his stare and shook his head gently, "We just had this stupid fight... There's this guy she's been hanging around with, I... I don't like him, he seems to be nothing but bad news."

Gerard sensed a hint of jealousy, "Do you like October?"

"No, no," Frank replied quickly, tiredly scratching the back of his head, "I just don't want her getting in with the wrong crowd, you know?"

The older man nodded and sat next to the younger one on the bench. "I understand, things can be tough," he said, "But if it is the wrong people that she's getting involved with then she'll soon realise and learn from her mistakes in the future, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," said Frank, "But, like... if anything were to happen to her, I-I don't know what I'd do..."

"How comes you're so crazy about her suddenly?" Gerard asked curiously.

"I don't know, man," Frank answered with a light laugh, "It's so weird."

The front man cocked an eyebrow at the guitarist, "Are you sure you don't like her?"

"Come on, man, she's seventeen," shrugged Frank, "I'm on my way to thirty."

"Oh that's right, you are," Gerard grinned, and added, "Old fart."

"Well if I'm old what does that make you, Grandpa?"

"Hey, watch it," smirked Gerard, "You should respect your elders."

Frank giggled as he did in return.

"So you gonna be alright, man?" Gerard asked his friend, punching him lightly on the arm.

"Yeah, dude, I'm cool," he replied, punching him back.

"Awesome," nodded Gerard and stood from the bench, "We'll start up again in a few."

"Okay," said Frank and watched him walk back over to the other side of the room. Sighing heavily, he leaned back and rested his head against the wall, the guitar still in his lap.

Just as he closed his eyes and began to relax for the short while until he was needed again, the shrill ring of a phone snapped him out of it. Picking up his cell from the table next to the bench, Frank slapped it to his ear, not bothering to see who had called.

"Yeah?"

"Frank?" the voice cracked on the other end of the line.

"October?" He suddenly flung to the edge of his seat, now fully awake, "Is that you? Is everything okay?" She didn't sound good.

"Frank, I..." she whimpered, "I've fucked up again..."