You're My Nicotine

"I can't fucking take this anymore, Billie! You're never here, it's like I'm not part of your life anymore."

"What are you talking about, Adie? You are my life!"

"Oh, come on. Your job is your life and I'm not part of it."

"I can't believe you would say that."

"Well it's true."

"You can talk! What about you going away on buisness for weekends?"

"What the fuck? I'm not away from home as much as you, we hardly see each other nowadays! I go away hardly ever because you're the one always away!"

"Not always, you haven't been here much recently!"

"For fuck sake, Billie Joe, I can't believe we are even having this conversation about me going away! It's bullshit! Don't try and turn this all on me, what the hell is the matter with you?"

Adrienne Nesser Armstrong sighed heavily, smoke escaping her lips as she sat in the open window of her bedroom, looking out into a cold night of November. She shouldn't have been smoking, but tonight she really needed one. It was 11.30pm and her husband still wasn't home. He had said he was going to Mike's to see his new bass and he wouldn't be long. Eight hours later and he still hadn't returned.

Adrienne was sick of this, he was always out and never at home. Sometimes he would go out early in the morning and then return at the early hours of the next morning.

He wasn't having an affair. No, Billie Joe wasn't one to cheat. It was work stuff. When Green Day first signed to their major label, Reprise Records, it wasn't so bad, he would still be away a lot, but not as much as he was now that Green Day had gotten really big and successful all over the world.

Adrienne knew that Billie was doing the thing he loved and the thing he had always wanted to do since the age of eleven, but he had to remember that he had a family at home, and a wife who has stuck out for him for fourteen years. His wife and two kids had been there for him, his wife, through it all. She had been there since the early years of Green Day. They started dating at sixteen, had their first child at eighteen, and married at twenty two. Yeah, they may have been young and stupid, but they were in love and that was all that mattered.

"Hey, mom... are you smoking?"

Adrienne turned her head filled with long, dark wavy hair to see her daughter standing in the bedroom doorway.

"Oh, hey," Adrienne said, getting out of the window. "Um, I'm only having one and then that's it forever... I mean it this time."

October smirked. "I'm sure," she said, walking over to the window. She took the cigarette from between her mother's fingers and took a drag from it herself, exhaling the smoke out into the night air, ignoring her mother's disaproving look.

October Armstrong was a rebellious seventeen year old. She had her mother's chocolate brown hair, and it was long with bangs. She had a small silver stud through her right nostril and three studs in each ear lobe. She had the slim figure that any girl her age would kill to have, and she was a social outcast at high school. This was mainly because she didn't trust anyone, as most people only talked to her because they wanted to meet her father. October hated those fuckers, she broke her ex boyfriend's nose because he used her to get to her dad.

Adrienne took the last drag from the cigarette, before throwing the butt out the window and closing it. "How are you doing, sweetie, you okay?" she asked October as she sat on the wide window ledge, "You've been pretty distant since the anniversary."

October closed her eyes, "Can we not talk about it, please."

Adrienne, completely understanding, replied with a nod, "Sure."

"I'm okay, mom," October smiled at her mother weakly. "I won't ask you 'cause I know you're not okay."

Adrienne sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I just get so pissed off," she said quietly.

"I know," said October, also pissed that her father wasn't home. "Just don't let him get to you so much."

"I can't help it, he should be here with us."

October smiled at her mother sadly. Adrienne looked back at her daughter, she had her father's light green eyes. She was exactly how she and Billie Joe were at her age, she had the same punk attitude and wouldn't give a shit what anyone thought of her. Adrienne and Billie Joe had now matured, but had never grown out of it.

"Mommy?"

Adrienne and October turned to see a little boy with dark hair walking towards them in his PJs, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, you're supposed to be asleep," said Adrienne.

"I couldn't," he replied.

"What is it, honey?" Adrienne asked her seven year old son as she helped him up onto her lap.

"When's daddy coming home?" he asked innocently, "I wanted him to tuck me in."

"Oh, I know you did, baby, but daddy couldn't make it," Adrienne said sadly. "He'll be home soon, but you really need to get some sleep, okay?"

He sighed, "Okay."

"Um, October, could you take him for me, please, hon?" asked Adrienne, noticing Billie Joe's car parking outside the house.

"Sure, come on, Joey. I'll tell you a story or something." October followed her little brother out of the room after having said goodnight to their mother.

Adrienne took a deep breath and nervously walked down the stairs, into the living room.

Now they had been married for fourteen years, Adrienne being understanding that Billie Joe had to be away a lot, but now he was crossing the line and she was tired of it.

"You're just being fucking ridiculous."

"I'm the ridiculous one? Oh yeah, 'cause I'd rather spend more time with my band than be with my wife and kids," Adrienne said sarcastically.

"Look, Adie, this is my job!"

"I understand that, but you're always working, it's always work this, work that. You hardly spend any time with me anymore, it's like I'm not here!"

"So what do you want me to do, quit?"

"I just think you should get some time off."

"I've had all the time off I can get, Adie, you know that. Is that not enough?"

"No, it's not."

"Well I'm sorry. I can't just take time off when I feel like it. It's a music career, without it I'm nothing!"

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"You're saying that you don't need me in your life, all you need is your music career?!"

"What? No! I'm nothing without you, too. There's no point of me living without you."

"Yeah, whatever, I've heard it all before."

"It's true!"

"Sure it is."

"You and the kids are my life and I'd be no where without you."

"Bullshit!" she yelled. "That is complete bullshit, Billie Joe! You hardly see the kids! October and Joey don't know you because you're never there for them!"

"Look, I know I wasn't around much when they were growing up, but-"

"But nothing!" she cut in. "You were away so much and the kids were always asking why you were never home, they wanted to see you, Billie, they wanted a dad! But you were hardly here and it killed me to see them so miserable. They don't deserve this."

"God, this is so stupid, Adie!"

"I'm just telling you how I feel!"

"I'm sorry you feel like that, but I can't do anything."

Billie Joe sat on the edge of the leather sofa in the living room of the house that he and Adrienne shared, and put his head in his hands, sighing.

"You know," said Adrienne, "We said we would be together because it made sense." She paused before carrying on. "Maybe this isn't making sense anymore," she said quietly.

Billie's head instantly shot back up as he looked at his wife. She was standing by the window, looking down at the sneakers on her feet.

"So what are you saying, that we should call it a day?" Billie asked.

Adrienne's big brown eyes slowly looked back at him in disbelief, "No, I'm not saying that."

"Well, I dunno, maybe it's a good idea."

"What?" she replied in barely a whisper. "You're just going to end it, just like that?"

"Well we do nothing but argue, Adrienne!" Billie Joe cried, tears stinging his eyes.

Adrienne's heart sank, she felt hurt and shocked at the same time. Was this really going to be over, all the years they had spent together, their fourteen year marriage down the drain? Adrienne couldn't believe this was happening. She got a sudden rush of anger.

"Fine," she retorted through gritted teeth. "I'm going to bed, don't bother following me."

"Adie, wait," called Billie.

She took no notice and headed towards the stairs.

"Adrienne!" Billie Joe yelled.

She slammed the bedroom door behind her, making Billie flinch. His brow creased as he closed his eyes and held his head in his hands once again.

"FUCK!" he shouted as he kicked the coffee table.

Upstairs in Joey's room, October was sitting with her arms around him as he clung to his older sister in bed, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Is daddy going to leave forever?" he asked in a whisper.

Tears threathened to fall from October's own eyes, but she had to stay strong for her little brother, she had to believe that everything was going to be okay, even though she didn't know if it was. "No, of course not, Joey."

"Promise?"

October closed her eyes tightly, "Promise."