You're My Nicotine

The last bell of the day rang and students raced out of St. Micheal High.

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MOTHERFUCKERS!" one boy bellowed out into the cool air, devil horns on his head.

"October, dude, that cell is so hot, I'm seriously jealous," Hazel told her friend as the two girls strolled down the front steps of the school, "I mean, it's way better than the other one."

"I know," October grinned, pushing the brand new, sparkling white cell phone into her jeans pocket that she had gotten for her birthday from her parents, "But that's not all they got me apparently, the phone was just because I got my other one mugged, they said there'll be something else when I get home."

"Ooh, what do you think it is?" Hazel questionned her friend, hyperactive teenagers dashing in all directions.

"Fuck knows," she replied, "I didn't really ask for anything this year."

"But you're eighteen!" Hazel cried, "You should be asking for a whole load of garbage."

October chuckled, "Yeah, obviously I'm one of those spoilt little rich girls who do nothing but shop all day and party all night."

"Fair enough," she grinned at the sarcastic comment, and both girls giggled.

They reached the front school gates and spotted two boys not far down the road, one talking to the other who was leaning casually against a street lamp pole. Hazel instantly made her way over to the one against the lamp and he stood up straight as the two embraced each other with passionate kisses that made October roll her eyes.

The new eighteen year old smirked, walking towards the other boy, and as she got nearer, his stunning blue eyes smiled down at her.

"Hey, birthday girl," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Hey," October grinned, moving her hands up to hold onto the front of his shirt. He leaned down and gave her a mind-blowing kiss, leaving her breathless, and the foursome started down the road.

Back in July, October had desperately wanted to put things right between her and her friends. She woke up in the hospital bed with Hazel and Joshi at her side, and the three had ended up bawling together and laughing over how stupid this all had been, which was so relieving for October. But then there was Ethan.

She had attended his graduation discreetly, just so she would at least have a shot of talking to him. She had arrived maybe three minutes or so before the whole thing started, so she had no time to find someone to sit with. She just kind of sat her ass down in the back row. After the ceremony ended, she pulled him over to the side, and started her speech. She had no idea what she was going to say, but hoped the words would just spill out, letting him know how sorry she was. She got into it a little and recieved nothing from him, just a look.

"You know, I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to me," she had told him, "I know I hurt you, but everyone was right, you were right... that person wasn't me. It was beyond stupidity and I really am sorry. I messed everything up with you and with your brother and..." She sighed, "I don't want to fuck up anymore..."

Ethan's face turned soft and he soon felt sympathetic towards her. Over the summer the pair got close and October realised just how much Ethan made her feel like a special human being. To say the least, she decided she would give him a chance with the whole relationship thing, she owed him that much. She came to realise that so long as Ethan was with her, she could have done anything. Ethan had helped her discover that she didn't need drugs to be happy, she didn't need cheap highs or sex, she just needed someone to help her, she just needed him. Love had her back and she had a feeling that from now on life would be for living, not for escaping.

"Are you coming, babe?" Ethan asked, turning to October as she stood outside the cemetery gates behind the other three.

She looked over at them and replied, "There's something I have to do, I'll see you all later at the party, yeah?"

"Okay," Hazel replied, a little confused.

Ethan stepped over towards his girlfriend and planted a small kiss on her lips. "Mine at 7, alright?"

October nodded, "See you then."

Although she had clearly announced she didn't need anything special for her eighteenth birthday, perhaps just some friends to go out for a meal or something, Ethan insisted she have a party, and got Ben to agree that the brother's would throw one at their house. He threw off her protests and told her it was going to happen whether she liked it or not. So, knowing there was no way out of it, she had to agree.

October walked through the tall black gates alone and began down the path, before the clean-cut grass. She knew where she was going, what she was doing. She had replayed this same journey quite a few times now.

She stopped when she saw it, the sight that still pulled her heart strings nearly two years on, and would continue to do so in the future.

She kissed the tips of her fingers and pressed them to the name on the grave stone.

"Happy Halloween, Aidan."

Heading home, October thought to herself just how much she had changed in the last two years, how much she had fallen and grown as a person. How she had evolved into the new girl she was today. She was moving on with her life and it never felt better to admit it.

She entered the house to find no one in sight. She checked all of downstairs on her way to the kitchen, but saw no one. Thinking nothing of it, October casually dropped her bag onto the kitchen table and grabbed a coke from the refridgerator.

"Hey, sweetheart."

October jumped at the sudden voice behind her and turned her head to see her father grinning back at her sheepishly from the door way.

"Way to sneak up on me, dad," she remarked, closing the fridge.

"So how's it feel to be an adult finally?" Billie Joe asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

She opened the can of drink and answered with a small nod, "Kinda scary."

"Come give your old man a hug," he motioned to himself.

October placed the can on the side counter and stepped towards her father, wrapping her arms round his mid-section. Billie wrapped his own tattooed arms round her neck and sighed deeply into her shoulder.

"I can't believe my baby girl's all grown up," he said quietly and pulled away to look down at his daughter's mature, beautiful face smiling up at him. He tucked her hair behind one ear and said, "Your mom went to pick up your brother and they've gone to the supermarket to grab some stuff... She wanted me to wait 'til she got home before you get your big present, but they're stuck in traffic and I don't know if I can wait any longer..."

October chuckled, "You always have been impatient."

"Too right," he retorted and took her hand, pulling her back towards the front door.

The younger girl giggled again and let her father drag her outside the house. He let her go when they reached the closed garage and started to the front door again.

"Just stay here and I'll open it up," he said before rushing off into the house.

October arched an eyebrow in the direction Billie had just been, and turned to the garage, waiting. Soon, the steel door began to open, and a royal blue BMW came into view.

She gasped, her jaw dropping. She had her own car. And it was a fucking stunning one.

"Holy shit!" she squealed, wide-eyed in excitement. October walked over to the car, and ran a hand along the front. She looked in through the window, and went around to the back to look at it. Billie stood silently, watching his daughter in delight. It looked good, and she was definatly impressed.

October bit her lip as she grabbed her father and pulled him into the tightest, most squishy hug she could muster. "Dad, this is so extreme," she whispered into his shoulder, "Thank you so much."

Billie Joe wrapped his arms around her neck again, and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I'm glad you like it, baby."

"I love it!" said October thrillingly.

The father and daughter went back to the brand new car, and looked over it. Billie watched happily as October checked out every nook and cranny the car had. She turned it on, laughed at the growly engine, flicked a whole bunch of the switches, and even listened to the radio. Billie stood back and watched her for a minute, not paying any attention to the buzzing in the back of his pants. Finally, he realised his cell phone was ringing.

"Shit!" he exclaimed and answered the call, "Hello?"

"Have you showed her yet?" his wife asked into his ear.

"Yeah, we're in the garage looking at it now," Billie grinned, "She loves it."

"Aw, that's great, honey, I'm so glad," Adrienne replied, "We're about ten minutes away."

"Okay, see you when you get here."

"See you soon, daddy!" he heard Joey yell in the background.

"Bye," Billie chuckled and hung up.

After fussing about the car for an hour or so, October asked for her father's cell to take down some numbers of relatives and other people she needed into her own new one, seeing as she no longer had the old to copy from. She sat on the sofa in the living room alone, typing numbers into her phone. She had finished all the E's and moved down to the F's.

Uncle Filip, Fiona, Auntie Fran, Francene, Frank, Gale-

She stopped. She went up a name and her heart skipped a beat. She stared at the five letter name of the rocker who was all the way in New Jersey right now. She hadn't thought about that name in a while, bit it was always in the back of her mind, always secretly playing on her thoughts even though she didn't realise it.

Should she take the number? Should she secretly keep it and use it when she felt she needed to?

No, she couldn't fall into that again, she wouldn't let herself.

She had gotten used to no more random texts about how things were going at the studio, she had gotten used to no more pills, she had gotten used to not being at that studio apartment when she wanted... used to no more Frankenstein.

Standing by her bedroom window, all dressed up ready to leave for her Birthday/Halloween party, October looked out into the mild afternoon.

One… two… three… four…

Time went by slowly. She missed him.

October picked up her new cell and slid down the wall until she was sat on the floor. She tossed the phone over in her hands multiple times.

She dialed the number and listened as it rang at least five times, before she heard someone pick up. His voice ran through her veins and she tensed up, she froze, keeping silent. She wondered if he thought about her.

"Hello?" he asked again.

She bit her lip and thought about what she could say. Happy Birthday? Happy Halloween?

"Hello?" he repeated.

October suddenly felt as if everything was right. She swallowed and finally got up the nerve to say something.

"I miss you," she spoke softly and hung up the phone.