Even If It Kills Me
Can I Go Home Now?
“Why should I get a second chance?” She sighed her exasperated sigh I was beginning to know very well. “I mean, not that I don’t want it, but it’s not like I deserve-”
“I don’t make the rules, Pierre.” I sighed in frustration.
“Can I go home now?” I asked her meekly. Now she was visibly trying to keep her patience with me.
“You’ll go home when it’s time to go home,” she snapped, looking very much as if she’d like to hit me.
I followed her silently for a few minutes. Now we were walking through a neighborhood I didn’t recognize, and once again we were the only ones there.
“Do you have anyone that means everything to you?” she asked suddenly, coming to a halt. “Someone you’d do anything for?” I stared at her for a few seconds before answering. Her piercing blue eyes challenged me.
“Look, I already have a girlfriend. I mean, I’ll probably screw it up and she’ll leave me like the rest of them, but for now she doesn’t completely hate me, and I kind of want to marry her.” She snorted in laughter and then rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.
“I’m not coming onto you, you idiot.” I blushed, now feeling incredibly stupid. We were suddenly in front of a hospital. I followed her inside, and down the halls to the waiting room. No one seemed to notice our presence.
“Where is he?” My heart jumped at the sound of that voice. I could suddenly see my favorite person in the world standing right in front of me, close enough to touch. She turned to whoever she was talking to, seeing right through me.
“He’s in ICU right now,” a second voice answered nervously. I turned to see someone else I recognized talking to her.
“Why’d he do it?” the first voice asked, now barely a whisper.
“Toni-” I began, wanting to explain that it wasn’t on purpose, that I didn’t mean to end up in a hospital.
“I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose,” Beth replied with certainty, trying to reassure her. Thank God for Beth. Antonia nodded her agreement wordlessly.
“Is he alright?” Antonia demanded, turning to speak to someone else. I followed her gaze to see Matt’s solemn expression.
“Don’t look at us like that, Matt!” Beth exclaimed shakily. “You’re scaring us.” At this point, Toni had started crying silently. I wanted to comfort her somehow, to assure her that I was okay. But she couldn’t see me, and I was afraid that if I tried to touch her, they might all disappear.
“He’s looking better than an hour ago,” Matt said finally. “Come on, we can wait with the Josh. Tony and Jesse are on their way,” he said, leading them down the hall.
“Toni…” I tried again faintly, as they walked down the bland hospital halls and faded out of sight.
“I don’t make the rules, Pierre.” I sighed in frustration.
“Can I go home now?” I asked her meekly. Now she was visibly trying to keep her patience with me.
“You’ll go home when it’s time to go home,” she snapped, looking very much as if she’d like to hit me.
I followed her silently for a few minutes. Now we were walking through a neighborhood I didn’t recognize, and once again we were the only ones there.
“Do you have anyone that means everything to you?” she asked suddenly, coming to a halt. “Someone you’d do anything for?” I stared at her for a few seconds before answering. Her piercing blue eyes challenged me.
“Look, I already have a girlfriend. I mean, I’ll probably screw it up and she’ll leave me like the rest of them, but for now she doesn’t completely hate me, and I kind of want to marry her.” She snorted in laughter and then rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.
“I’m not coming onto you, you idiot.” I blushed, now feeling incredibly stupid. We were suddenly in front of a hospital. I followed her inside, and down the halls to the waiting room. No one seemed to notice our presence.
“Where is he?” My heart jumped at the sound of that voice. I could suddenly see my favorite person in the world standing right in front of me, close enough to touch. She turned to whoever she was talking to, seeing right through me.
“He’s in ICU right now,” a second voice answered nervously. I turned to see someone else I recognized talking to her.
“Why’d he do it?” the first voice asked, now barely a whisper.
“Toni-” I began, wanting to explain that it wasn’t on purpose, that I didn’t mean to end up in a hospital.
“I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose,” Beth replied with certainty, trying to reassure her. Thank God for Beth. Antonia nodded her agreement wordlessly.
“Is he alright?” Antonia demanded, turning to speak to someone else. I followed her gaze to see Matt’s solemn expression.
“Don’t look at us like that, Matt!” Beth exclaimed shakily. “You’re scaring us.” At this point, Toni had started crying silently. I wanted to comfort her somehow, to assure her that I was okay. But she couldn’t see me, and I was afraid that if I tried to touch her, they might all disappear.
“He’s looking better than an hour ago,” Matt said finally. “Come on, we can wait with the Josh. Tony and Jesse are on their way,” he said, leading them down the hall.
“Toni…” I tried again faintly, as they walked down the bland hospital halls and faded out of sight.
♠ ♠ ♠
I wrote a poem/song/thing again. Meh.