A Thousand Oceans Wide

It was two days since Tom last seen Heidi and Bill never brought that touchy topic up to Tom because he didn't want to aggravate his sensitive older brother. It was like she didn't exist anymore. She didn't answer Bill's calls or texts because she was busy figuring things out but she finally came to a conclusion.

It was like any normal Wednesday and Heidi had just finished school at around 3 when she decided it was now or never. She had found the courage to confront her past and hope for her future. Hers and Markus'. Tom sounded sincere enough about wanting to give it a shot and she had finally told herself she could give him a chance. The girl went outside school and waited for the bus. While doing so, she called Tom. Heidi took a deep breath as the number of rings started to increase.

Tom was in his attic as Bill was eating cookies across him. The older held his guitar in his hand, playing a new song they thought of earlier, and his phone vibrated. He stared at it for the caller ID read Heidi. Bill noticed Tom wasn't picking up and so he looked at the name.

"She's calling you," Bill said softly as soon as he sat up straight, cookie midway into his mouth. He stared intently at his older brother in great anticipation, hoping Tom would do what's right.

Tom swallowed, staring at the phone hesitantly before holding it up and accepting the call. He slowly brought his cell to his ear, guitar loosely in his grip as he choked out. "Hi."

And then came the sweetest voice there was. Even over the phone, she sounded perfect to Tom. He was actually in denial, pretending that he didn't think of her at all when every minute, Heidi was on his mind. He couldn't get over that easily.

"Hi," Heidi said back. She was extremely relieved to hear him. He didn't sound mad, but he didn't sound too happy. "Are you okay?" she asked. The bus had arrived, but she skipped it. The girl walked down to find an empty bench and sat down.

Tom sighed rather soundlessly and rubbed his face. It was a lethargic afternoon but he was being awakened with each passing second. "I'm fine," he said. "I'm sorry," he apologized suddenly. He had only once chance and since she called him, he had to say everything.

"No," the girl said. "I'm sorry for trying to push the subject away every time. Actually, I've been thinking about it and-"

"I've been thinking about it, too," Tom cut in out of pure excitement. He felt spontaneous tears form in his eyes and he quickly wiped them away. He didn't mean to interrupt Heidi, and so he apologized again. "Sorry. You can continue." He glanced at Bill who was very carefully listening. The place was extremely quiet, and so he could hear a bit of Heidi over the phone as well. Seeing Tom shed tears made Bill gaze in adoration of his older brother who always appeared as the stronger one when in fact, he was the more sensitive twin.

Hearing Tom's enthusiasm, Heidi was encouraged. Her heart was beating faster and faster. She was going to do this.

"Can we meet up and talk?" she asked. "It'll be much easier." The girl played with a loose thread at the end of her orange sundress, eagerly waiting to hear Tom's response.

Tom sat up straight upon hearing her words, his guitar dropping to the floor from the sudden push and causing a loud noise. Bill shrieked lightly and quickly picked it up. He looked at Tom with wide eyes, wondering what just happened in between the two over the phone.

"I want to see you, too," Tom said. "I need to see you." He felt a wave of emotions crash upon him, the one being released after being pent up for days. He was thankful for this moment where they had agreed to talk about it, and entirely grateful for whatever Gods that heard his silent prayer that even Bill did not know of.

~

The doorbell rang and Heidi answered it. She found Tom standing there before her and she stood there as well, not knowing what to do. She had only one thing in mind. And so did he.

Tom took a step forward and his arms reached out as hers did as well. For once in the longest while, Tom Kaulitz and Heidi Schmidt embraced each other. It was all that was needed. They hadn't talked and they both knew how they really felt. They didn't kiss, but they didn't feel like anything was missing. All that was necessary at that point was a good hug to start with.

Heidi had her eyes squeezed tight, never imagining she would ever see this day. Once again, Tom was by her side.

"I miss you," he whispered, swallowing. He pulled her tighter as his eyes grew red. He tried not to get overly emotional about it.

"I miss you, too," she whispered back, inhaling his familiar scent. Her tears came falling down onto his shoulders.

They let go after a long while in that position when Markus came tumbling down the bottom half of the stairs from the background in the house.

Heidi was shocked, and she quickly went over to pick her son up. "Are you okay?" she asked, panicked. Markus laughed childishly and shook his head.

He looked at Tom and gave a small wave. "TomTom," he said. Tom laughed and quickly rubbed his own eyes.

"You're a brave little man, just like me," Tom said with a sheepish smile as he went over and carried Markus up, sitting the child on his leg when he went over to the living room couch. Heidi felt her heart melt.

The girl with high hopes sat at the couch beside Tom and gave a little sigh. She didn't know what to say but she looked at Tom quietly as father and son gazed at each other.

"You're heavy," Tom said to Markus.

"No, I'm not," Markus grinned, stroking a single dreadlock skeptically.

"Yes, you are," Tom said. And he looked at Heidi, half-grinning. "Your brother's in denial."

For a moment, Heidi's heart skipped a beat. He just referred to Markus as her brother, and it didn't seem right this time. Was he not yet ready to let the child know?

"Are we going to tell him?" Heidi asked suddenly, curious. Her hands lay on her thighs as she kept her eyes on Markus who was being bounced uncomfortably on Tom's shaking leg.

"Tell him?" Tom raised his eyebrows as he gave a small unsure smile. "About what?"

Heidi blinked. "So we're not going to let him know?" She was dying to hear Markus call her 'mommy', but Tom didn't seem so eager about the whole parenting thing just yet.

"So we're..." Tom paused, and his leg stopped shaking. He thought she wanted to let Markus know they were patching things up. "So we're going out already?" He gave a short laugh. The young man was amused that things worked out so swiftly without even having a proper conversation.

"Do you know what I'm talking about?" Heidi asked. Her brows furrowed together, a frown on her forehead. She felt saddened that Tom was taking this lightly once again.

Tom was confused as well. He hugged Markus close as the kid looked at Heidi like he was doing. The child kept quiet. "We're supposed to talk about it, right?" Tom said. "Maybe Markus should go to his room, because... You know. There are some things that he wouldn't exactly understand. And is not supposed to."

"But I want to let him know," Heidi said. She really wanted Markus to know she was his mother for real.

"We can tell him, but we'll talk about it first," Tom said, a hand going over to cover Heidi's. He gave her a smile and she sighed, asking Markus to go back up.

When Markus had obediently went upstairs, the first floor only consisted of the Heidi and Tom and they decided to talk.

"So," Tom started, patting his knees as looked at her. "Who starts?"

"You first," Heidi said. She wanted to hear what he had to say about Markus.

Tom took a deep breath. All that was spilled to Bill two days earlier was going to be translated into an easy-listening version for Heidi. He had one shot and he couldn't miss a single word or expression. "I... I really, really like you," he said, swallowing and nodding. His eyes went from the coffee table to Heidi. "I really do. I'm not just saying it, Heidi. I mean it."

Heidi was flattered and embarrassed all at once. She didn't expect him to really, really like her. She hoped it was not just because of Markus. Even if it was, she was glad as well it could work out. A happy family would be nice. "I like you, too," she said. "And I mean it, too." She did. Ever since the little lunch they had at the school when he surprised her, she knew he was different. She just needed time to assure herself.

Tom broke into a shy sort of grin, and he tried hard not to falter with his words. "And, uh..." he sighed and continued, a cute smile still on his face. "I haven't felt this way in the longest time, and I knew we had to work things out ever since I met you again at the hospital. I just wasn't sure but when I figured you felt the same way, I knew we had to give this a shot."

The girl covered her mouth slightly as she bit slightly on her lower lip. This was embarrassing, but it was special because it came from Tom, the one who haunted her for the past few years. Everything seemed to be going well. She nodded, wondering if Tom was going to continue.

"And I can promise you, I will not touch any other girl unless it's for a picture, or I'm shaking her hand when we receive an award. And Heidi," he said, going closer to her. He held her hands and looked deeply in her eyes. Her beautiful blue, almond-shaped eyes. "I am sorry for everything I did to you. The things I left you with, the unhappy moments, and for being a jerk just before I left Magdeburg; I'm really sorry. I have to make this clear. I really wish to hear you say that you will forgive me."

Sniffling, Heidi nodded. "Of course, I forgive you," she said. She had forgiven him a long time ago and forgotten him but he came back. So, she had to renew him in her life and here they were, with a promising new start. "I was thinking a lot, and I can feel you're different. I hope you are."

"I want just one chance from you," he continued. "It's all I need to prove to you I'm not that little whore I act like I am. I... Honestly, I made my mistakes and I did stupid things and I know it's hard for you to trust me again but I want you to," the older of the Kaulitz twins said. His tone was very honest, and Heidi could tell. He had told her to trust him when they were first having sex five years back and she did. Despite all that happened, this girl would gladly do that again. "Screw attention from deprived girls, I don't need them anymore. I just need you to believe me when I say I'm not lying about all this. And in the future."

Tom couldn't believe the words he was saying. He felt so damn proud of himself for doing this, and he was elated because Heidi's expressions were priceless. He felt like he could just shout to the world that he was changing for the better. He couldn't bear to hurt her again. He really needed someone like her in his life because to him, she gave the word 'love' a whole new meaning.

For once in his life, Tom was actually being hopeful about love for more than a night. With Heidi, any kind of love seemed possible. She was like, to him, a pretty porcelain doll that needed much care and devotion. Beautiful but fragile, and he had to take care of her in every aspect. He could do that. He could be the man she needed, be her guardian angel and everything that anyone romantic could ever come up with, especially with Bill's support. He was sure his mom would be proud of him as well. The novelty of free sex wore off. Tom judged it as shameless and cheap as it was commonly described, and the only sex he hadn't discovered was 'making love'.

"Tom?" Heidi said suddenly. She loved every word he had said to her but she needed to hear something else as well.

Tom looked at her. He really wanted to kiss her but he wanted to hear what she had to say. "Yes?" And his gaze traveled to her eyes.

"What about Markus?" she said, a small frown showing. She wanted to know really badly if there was going to be a real reunion.

Tom was confused once more. Why did she keep bringing Markus up? "What about him?" he asked back. He was sincerely clueless.

Heidi was bewildered. Didn't he know anything? She felt a bit cheated for falling more in love with him with every word he said, and now he's acting like he doesn't know anything? "I'm serious, Tom," she said. "What do we do about him? Do we tell him? Did you tell the rest? I want to know, so tell me," she smiled, trying to ease the tension here.

The guitarist was actually very puzzled. "Why do you keep talking about him? What do you mean tell him? Did I tell the rest what?" he asked a string of questions. "Am I missing something here?" Tom gave an awkward laugh with a small frown. The grip on Heidi's hand loosened.

Heidi let out a short laugh of disbelief. She pulled her hands away from Tom immediately as she shook her head. "You're not going to stop joking, are you?" she said. "It's not funny, Tom."

"What are you talking about?" Tom frowned, cocking his head at her. And he laughed a bit. "I don't know what you're talking about! You're always talking about Markus so suddenly, and I don't know what for!"

"I want to know if you're going to accept him, and if the other's are going to know about it. We can keep it from the rest of the world but I want him to know the truth," she said firmly. "It's only fair to him. We can't act like he doesn't exist."

Wait, Tom thought. This sounded more and more ridiculous and totally off topic. What the hell was she talking about? The young man tried contemplating, but he only got as far as Heidi randomly bringing her brother up in their conversations.

"Okay. Heidi," Tom said slowly. And he looked down as he continued after a short sigh. "Can you tell me what's going on? What's this about Markus you keep talking about?" he looked up at her as patiently as possible.

Heidi had tears in her eyes inevitably. This was sick, and she couldn't believe she had to spell it out for him. "I just want Markus to know that we are his real parents, Tom," the blonde-haired young woman wiped her left cheek as her voice got shaky. After swallowing, she continued. "Really, is that too much to ask?"