A Thousand Oceans Wide

It was almost the start of summer vacation during the last week of school and Bill and Tom were meeting Heidi regularly after school. They invited her to their house to watch their band play a couple of songs a few times ever since their mothers decided to catch up on each other again. The twins went over for Christmas and stayed over through the New Year.

It was clear their old friendship was rediscovered throughout the months. Heidi noticed how different the brothers were ever since they lived with their stepfather. Bill was attracted to gothic fashion while Tom was more into hip-hop; Bill was mostly in black while Tom wore baggy rapper clothing. The most significant thing was the authority they were bestowed by their parents; they were allowed to stay up late at night and given the permission to have piercing. Bill had one on his tongue and on his eyebrow and Tom had a lip ring. She didn’t mind at all because they were still her friends. And she had to admit they looked great.

One thing she didn’t notice was how much they were being involved with an older group of boys from the local high school. Tom and Bill shared the same friends, but Bill was smarter in the sense that he understood better about the things that were going on in between them. Tom was the naïve one; he looked up to these older boys. They had a cool lifestyle that included cigarettes and drugs, alcohol and sex, and Tom wanted every part of it. He didn’t really care about being cool, but he liked that kind of lifestyle because he believed his friends were great. Bill picked up smoking when Tom did, but it was Bill who reminded Tom not to get into trouble by dealing with drugs. He told Tom about how their parents trusted them and all, and Tom relented. There was one more thing that made him different from the rest; he was a virgin. And so was Bill.

“Are you a virgin?” Rudolf asked suddenly. He was the oldest and was eighteen. Then, they were at his place sleazing around at midnight after watching a bit of porn, and they were sitting around the living room. Everyone looked at the twins for an answer.

Bill simply shrugged. “I don’t know,” he slurred, lying back on the table with a half-smoked cigarette in hand. “Am I?”

Georg, fifteen and who was also part of the clique in high school, answered. “Do you masturbate?” he asked, drinking a bit from his cup of beer. That question made Bill frown. Tom let out a snort

“Bill does,” Tom said as he ate a few potato chips. “His hands move to the beat of my snoring and I just—”

“I do not!” Bill protests, frowning at Tom as soon as he sat up. “You masturbate more than me!”

Tom simply rolled his eyes.

“I can’t believe you guys know when you’re doing it. I mean, you guys are brothers and that’s just so weird doing it in front of each other!” Georg snorts. Bill rolled his eyes as well.

Alex agreed. “Totally. It’s like catching your dad bone or something.”

Rudolf sighed and frowned. “You guys are idiots. That doesn’t answer my question at all!”

“Have you slept with a girl yet?” Alex asked quickly. He was seventeen and quite the popular guy in high school. “As in, have you had sex yet?”

“Real sex?” Tom asked, looking at Alex.

“Real sex,” the boy answered, puffing into Tom’s face. Bill winced.

“No,” Tom answered.

“Me, neither,” Bill added softly.

“You’ve been watching porn and you are still a virgin?” Rudolf jokes. “How can you stand it? I mean, don’t you feel the need?” Bill simply rolled his eyes at that.

“So you don’t know how an orgasm feels like?” Georg asked as eyebrows rose slightly.

Tom swallowed at the question. Sure, he knew how it felt like, more or less, but hand jobs… They were probably nothing compared to the real thing. It sounded scary, but it didn’t look so. Porn was so rough, but he knew sex was probably less intimidating. Or virgin sex, in his case.

Bill blew his fringe as he scratched his neck. “Sex is starting to bore me… And no. Not by a girl. Just not yet.”

The rest looked at Tom who decided to say something. “No, obviously. I’m sure it’s different when you do it with a girl, right?”

The three older boys looked at one another with wide expressive eyes and nodded.

“Hell, yes,” Alex nodded, half-smiling. “The girl will scream when you enter her and hit it right… It’s like a horror movie where you’re stabbing her with a fucking knife again and again in the heart, and her face… My God, it’s priceless if you ever happen to catch it—”

“Or a war movie where you’re the evil guy!” Georg interrupted. Bill was wincing. “It’s like shooting someone with a gun. Bang! Bang!”

“If she calls your name, she loves it,” Alex continued, grinning widely and nodding. “She wants you to go harder, and faster. And harder, and faster!” He loved teaching Bill and Tom about new things, especially sex. He wasn’t exactly direct, but he probably made a lot of sense because he noticed Rudolf barely made a sound. The oldest felt a bit itchy and scratched his crotch a bit.

Tom felt his heart race like crazy at the topic. Not to mention, his lower half was tightening considerably as his mind produced thoughts of that and the like. By now, Bill merely felt amused.

“When did you first do it?” Tom asked, ignoring the slight horniness coming from their ‘leader’ that was Rudolf. He really wanted to know because… Well, because he wanted to.

“When I was sixteen,” the bigger guy answered. Everyone tried to hide a smile, except the twins. “Shut the fuck up, I know that’s freaking old but that was years ago!”

“You guys?” Bill asked, looking at Georg and Alex.

“Fifteen,” Georg said, smiling. “Just last summer.”

Alex nodded. “Fourteen and a half,” he smiled.

“With his best friend’s sister,” a snickering Georg added, receiving a shrug and smile from Alex.

“Assholes,” Rudolf commented, rolling his eyes before half-laughing. “It’s like as if it’s a fucking game of who could lose it younger or something.”

Bill widened his eyes. “A fucking game?” He didn’t really like the idea of having sex now. He knew it would be too weird. And these guys were really enthusiastic about it, which scared him a little.

Bill was only thirteen, going on fourteen, and porn was already intense for him. Maybe when he was bigger, it would be easier; the thought of his male anatomy being significantly smaller in comparison to the porn actors was very unnerving. He was barely halfway through puberty and sometimes he wished he would grow faster.

The truth was, Bill wanted to ask if they had problems with their size, but he knew it wouldn’t be, because they all did it when they were older than fourteen, meaning their little brothers would be bigger. He sighed softly at that thought. Besides, he wasn’t in a hurry to do it with just anyone. He knew it was cheesy, but he just wanted to wait for the right one to do it with. He’s not going to wait that long, but… not just any girl. He didn’t really want to rush things for a stupid game.

“You guys got a few months more to beat me. July, August, September… That’s your birth month right?” Receiving a nod from Bill, Alex continued. “Two months to have your first sex.” Smirking, the blonde boy crossed his arms and sat back into the armchair.

“Sweet, summer sex throughout vacation,” Georg laughed, lighting up a cigarette. “Imagine that.”

“I can’t believe this is a game,” Bill continued, frowning as he sat up, swinging his legs on the table. He glanced at Tom to try and read what he was thinking.

Tom, on the other hand, thought of this as a game for real. He would like being known as something in the clique. At least, being known as something even before he entered high school. That would be amazing, he thought, breaking a stupid record and beating Alex, Georg and Rudolf. He could leave a lasting impression behind before Tokio Hotel picks up… as the kid who lost it before he turned fourteen; that would even be half a year before Alex! And if Tokio Hotel does get huge, he would have groupies to deal with. He didn’t really fancy the thought of being a virgin when it came to these foreign women who would be dying at his feet to bed him. His eyes twinkled at the thought.

Two months wasn’t that short, and he was sure he could find someone. Older girls wouldn’t fancy him. He needed someone younger, just like him. Probably someone who didn’t know anything about sex so she couldn’t compare him, or even criticize his skills. All he needed was someone to want to have sex with him. Someone he would like enough to do it with so it wouldn’t be that awkward.

“Sounds insane,” Tom smirked, tonguing his lip ring a bit as he glanced at the other boys. He tried not to make it so obvious to Bill that he was up for it, or Bill might actually run down the street and fuck a girl straightaway. It was basically just some twisted image that formed in his mind in an impromptu way. That would jeopardize his record-breaking attempt, and he definitely didn’t want to lose to his younger brother.

“It is,” Rudolf gave a smug grin. “Hey, call your other friend, the drummer. Ask him if he’s done it.” Georg nodded and called Gustav. Bill and Tom waited and watched in anticipation.

Georg perked up when Gustav picked up. “Hello?” he said, before starting to talk. After a few loud laughs and ‘pause’ hand signs he showed the eagerly waiting boys, he nodded and hung up. “See you at band practice tomorrow, Gussy.”

“So?” Alex asked. “If I’m not wrong, he’s still a virgin.” Rudolf laughed.

Georg finished his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray. He blew out at Tom’s face and answered. “This morning.”

“What?” everyone asked at the same time. “Really?” Bill asked, half-grinning.

“With his girlfriend? That girl, what’s her name…?” Alex frowned.

Shaking his head and readjusting his fringe, Georg nodded. “Charlotte’s bedroom at midnight, and he was a mad happy camper.” Tom grinned a little when he heard that. Sex sounded fun and sweet at the same time, especially when the girl was his girlfriend.

“That’s fast. Which means he’s fifteen too!” Bill added gleefully. He half-smiled as he ate some chips. “That’s so cool.

”Tom scratched his head a bit through the locks of blonde dreads. “That’s cool,” he added, commenting the same as Bill did, but a bit softly as Rudolf lay back on the couch as Alex reached for the remote. It sure as hell sounded like a challenge that young Tom Kaulitz couldn’t refuse.