A Thousand Oceans Wide
Naïve Tom
It had been two weeks since Bill found out about Tom and Heidi. Everything seemed fine. Summer vacation was great, and Tom spent almost every waking moment with Heidi. Either that, or he was with his friends or the band. Tokio Hotel had to record an album soon, and they were due to move to Munich at the end of summer vacation. Simone, the twins’ mother, was going with them. The twins, Georg and Gustav would only have to attend school for a week before they actually moved to Munich. They could do that, or not go to school at all. Bill wanted to, seeing as it was their last official week in school before focusing on music entirely. Tom never thought about what would happen between him and Heidi, but one thing that was still on his mind was the record he intended to break to beat Alex.
“Tom,” Bill said suddenly when they were both lying on their beds at night. He wondered if Tom was asleep. “Tom?”
The older boy was awake. “Ja?” Tom answered. He turned a bit to face the ceiling. It was a warm night and he had been tossing and turning a dozen times. “Scheiße! It’s too hot!” he said suddenly.
Bill merely rolled his eyes. “It’s the middle of summer, obviously,” he remarked. Then from the corner of his eye, he noticed Tom sitting up, grumbling as he took off his shirt and boxers. “Hey! What are you doing?”
“I’m sleeping naked, obviously!” Tom retorted, lying back down in his birthday suit without the blanket over him. He was simply exposed, but it was dark.
The younger twin frowned. “You’re sick,” he commented.
Tom ignored the comment. Then he remembered Bill had called him earlier. “What did you want to ask me?” he said, a frown on his forehead as his eyes remained closed.
Bill suddenly remembered. “Oh,” he mumbled, turning to face the wall instead. “I just wanted to ask; what’s going to happen to Heidi when we move away?”
Tom blinked a bit as soon as his eyes shot open. He never really thought about that even thought he received a call from David Jost, their new manager, a week earlier.
“I haven’t thought about it,” Tom admitted.
“What?” Bill whispered loudly. “Have you even told her?” There was no response from Tom. “You are so dumb, Tom. We might not return to Magdeburg for a few months, maybe a year, and you haven’t told her we’re leaving?”
The older Kaulitz sighed. Was it really that important to tell her all these things?, he thought. If he leaves, he leaves. End of story. Yeah, Heidi is sweet and all, but he had his own life. He had his own plans and dreams, and for now, none of them involved her. None except for one, and only Tom knew about it. He hated when Bill got all ‘big brother’ on him.
“She’s my girlfriend, and I think I can decide for myself if I want to tell her,” he answered back.
“But she’s my friend,” Bill answered. Without thinking, he quickly added. “And you’re a shitty boyfriend by that answer, Tom.”
Almost immediately, Tom got up from his bed, staring at Bill through the darkness. “I dare you to say that again!” he frowned. He was the boyfriend. He could do whatever he wanted, however he liked it and none of it concerned Bill.
“Go away!” Bill groaned, not wanting to see a naked Tom. “I’ll tell her tomorrow,” Bill continued. He knew Tom could just strangle him right there and then, and realized his words probably meant the wrong way, so he immediately added. “I mean, I will tell her we’re leaving. She’s my friend and I want to tell her. I’ll leave your problems to yourself, alright?”
Tom stared a bit longer at Bill’s figure through the faint blackness. Finally, he lay back down again. “I got my plans,” Tom said, mumbling when he did. Bill did not reply.
As the night went on, Tom slowly realized where Heidi really stood in his heart. Yes, he liked her, but she didn’t mean a thing to him. It was weird, but it was true. He saw her more and more in a sexual way, he admitted mentally. He had kissed two other girls since they were officially together, but he didn’t tell anyone.
All he wanted before he left Magdeburg was to leave a lasting impression of a young non-virgin who left to pursue a career with his rock band. He wanted to leave a bit of his superiority behind, or whatever his young, fourteen-year-old mind managed to support. Imagining the look of amusement of his friends’ faces, he grinned to himself. And his thoughts trailed off to the many other sexual experiences he could finally encounter. Finally, he could live the life of a real rock star and have any girl he wanted.
Naïve he was, but his mind didn’t tell him that. All Tom needed was the first time to be done and over with. He needed the person to be Heidi because she was the one who would make it special enough. And he certainly didn’t want Bill to have her. The end of summer vacation was close, and he had to act fast. Especially since he still felt a little something for Heidi because, to put it simply, he hated awkwardness.
“Tom,” Bill said suddenly when they were both lying on their beds at night. He wondered if Tom was asleep. “Tom?”
The older boy was awake. “Ja?” Tom answered. He turned a bit to face the ceiling. It was a warm night and he had been tossing and turning a dozen times. “Scheiße! It’s too hot!” he said suddenly.
Bill merely rolled his eyes. “It’s the middle of summer, obviously,” he remarked. Then from the corner of his eye, he noticed Tom sitting up, grumbling as he took off his shirt and boxers. “Hey! What are you doing?”
“I’m sleeping naked, obviously!” Tom retorted, lying back down in his birthday suit without the blanket over him. He was simply exposed, but it was dark.
The younger twin frowned. “You’re sick,” he commented.
Tom ignored the comment. Then he remembered Bill had called him earlier. “What did you want to ask me?” he said, a frown on his forehead as his eyes remained closed.
Bill suddenly remembered. “Oh,” he mumbled, turning to face the wall instead. “I just wanted to ask; what’s going to happen to Heidi when we move away?”
Tom blinked a bit as soon as his eyes shot open. He never really thought about that even thought he received a call from David Jost, their new manager, a week earlier.
“I haven’t thought about it,” Tom admitted.
“What?” Bill whispered loudly. “Have you even told her?” There was no response from Tom. “You are so dumb, Tom. We might not return to Magdeburg for a few months, maybe a year, and you haven’t told her we’re leaving?”
The older Kaulitz sighed. Was it really that important to tell her all these things?, he thought. If he leaves, he leaves. End of story. Yeah, Heidi is sweet and all, but he had his own life. He had his own plans and dreams, and for now, none of them involved her. None except for one, and only Tom knew about it. He hated when Bill got all ‘big brother’ on him.
“She’s my girlfriend, and I think I can decide for myself if I want to tell her,” he answered back.
“But she’s my friend,” Bill answered. Without thinking, he quickly added. “And you’re a shitty boyfriend by that answer, Tom.”
Almost immediately, Tom got up from his bed, staring at Bill through the darkness. “I dare you to say that again!” he frowned. He was the boyfriend. He could do whatever he wanted, however he liked it and none of it concerned Bill.
“Go away!” Bill groaned, not wanting to see a naked Tom. “I’ll tell her tomorrow,” Bill continued. He knew Tom could just strangle him right there and then, and realized his words probably meant the wrong way, so he immediately added. “I mean, I will tell her we’re leaving. She’s my friend and I want to tell her. I’ll leave your problems to yourself, alright?”
Tom stared a bit longer at Bill’s figure through the faint blackness. Finally, he lay back down again. “I got my plans,” Tom said, mumbling when he did. Bill did not reply.
As the night went on, Tom slowly realized where Heidi really stood in his heart. Yes, he liked her, but she didn’t mean a thing to him. It was weird, but it was true. He saw her more and more in a sexual way, he admitted mentally. He had kissed two other girls since they were officially together, but he didn’t tell anyone.
All he wanted before he left Magdeburg was to leave a lasting impression of a young non-virgin who left to pursue a career with his rock band. He wanted to leave a bit of his superiority behind, or whatever his young, fourteen-year-old mind managed to support. Imagining the look of amusement of his friends’ faces, he grinned to himself. And his thoughts trailed off to the many other sexual experiences he could finally encounter. Finally, he could live the life of a real rock star and have any girl he wanted.
Naïve he was, but his mind didn’t tell him that. All Tom needed was the first time to be done and over with. He needed the person to be Heidi because she was the one who would make it special enough. And he certainly didn’t want Bill to have her. The end of summer vacation was close, and he had to act fast. Especially since he still felt a little something for Heidi because, to put it simply, he hated awkwardness.