Pray for Plagues

The vehicle halted suddenly in the parking lot of an ample industrial building. I sighed, knowing that as soon as I stepped out of the car, fumes were going to overpower my senses and cause me to tear up. And that mixed with the filth I was about to shove down my throat made me feel even more ill. I hated McDonalds, but I hated this factory more.

I felt a pair of eyes on me as I stared forward. The awkwardness they brought didn’t falter my gaze.

“Caidin?” he finally spoke, the tone of his voice proving that he was in a slightly better mood than before. I turned my entire body in his direction, but held my eyes low. The car filled with a thick, overwhelming silence. He paused. “You coming in?”

“Yeah,” I sighed, wrapping my fingers around the cheap paper bag that had heated my lap. I repressed a gag from the stench of whatever Cayce ordered and prepared to open the door. Before I even touched the handle, the drivers’ side door opened and let in the musty air. I frowned and quickened my pace to hurry out of the car.

Cayce locked it behind him, forcing me to stand in the wind cradling my now frail body. I felt like the temperature itself could snap me in two. “Hurry,” I said softly, gritting my teeth to keep them from chattering.

“Yeah, sorry,” he muttered, clipping his keys to his belt loop farthest to his right. He shoved his hands in his pockets and jogged towards the building, myself just inches behind him. After a few more meters, we were in the doorway.

“I hate this place,” I groaned in discontent. He said nothing, not even looking at me, and opened the door wide for the both of us to enter; him first. As soon as we were inside, I shoved the McDonalds bag into his chest, forcing him to hold onto it. I felt dizzy from the obnoxious smoke clouds we had to walk through to make it to his office. The loud clanking of metal and levers began to make my head pound. And upon entering the office, I remembered that the sound proof glass had never done its job.

Cayce say behind his desk, tearing the bag apart to get to his food. I bit my lip to hide my disgust. He looked up at me, an unwrapped burger in hand, and raised his eyebrows.

“I’ll eat later,” I told him before he could even speak. “I need to go to the bathroom.” He waved me off and turned back down to his desk, pushing his pile of folders to the side like he did every day. It’s a miracle he still had this job, considering he never did any of the work for it. I turned down the narrow hallway to his left and disappeared behind a corner.

The bathroom stood at the very end of the barely lit hall, as if it were the entrance to a torture chamber. My pace slowed as I continued down the hall. I knew that once I opened the bathroom door, the blinding bright lights and pleasant smells would make up for any discomfort I had been feeling all day.

I smiled as I pushed the door open. I hadn’t been here with Cayce for months, but every time I did tag along, I spent all day in this bathroom. Listening to music, writing on the stalls. My heart sank as I remembered what I had once written. I stood in the middle of the room, as if I were waiting for something to happen. But it didn’t.

I swallowed as I slid forward, my destination being the stall on the far right side of the room. I nudged the door open with my knee and stepped inside, keeping my focus straight ahead. I shut the door, locking it, and took a seat on the never before used toilet. I was the only one ever back here, that I know of, and I always avoided this one. I shut my eyes for a moment, preparing them to read the past.

They opened and flickered once I saw how much I had actually written. I didn’t remember it ever being that much. I furrowed my brow and began to read the small print.

“I miss him so much. I’m on day twenty eight of not seeing the real him. I feel strange because I’m so much more in love with him than he is with me. It’s scary. I don’t want to go through this for the fourth time this year. I just want him to know what I’m really thinking.

I hope he doesn’t get in trouble. I’ll be devastated. What if he goes to jail? All my doubts are probably correct, but the world is a tricky place, isn’t it? I want to see him everyday. The real him, not masked by heroin and apathy. He is honestly the only one who can keep my unorthodox thoughts feeling sane. My perfect other. A dreamer just like me. When all we want to do is wander the streets at night and think of what could be.

So hand in hand and thought in thought we travel aimlessly throughout this mysterious world, hoping that when it ends, everything that should’ve happened could, may, or would…”

A tear hid in the crevice of my lip as I bowed my head low, letting my hair hang in my face. I wrote that almost a year ago, when I was just falling in love with Cayce. And I thought he was the only person ever who could be with me. Though I still think that; he obviously doesn’t. I leaned back against the porcelain seat and stared up at the ceiling, focusing on the same black dot I always watched when I thought. Thinking back, I honestly could not remember what went wrong between me and Cayce. It all ended so abruptly, so subtly, that I couldn’t tell anybody why we had broken up. I just told people that it was because of drugs, but I knew somehow that that wasn’t the only reason. As far as I knew, it could have been infidelity. Either way, one and a half years ago for most people seems like a completely different lifetime, but for me it seems like yesterday. And living with Cayce made it even harder to escape or cope with our break up.

“Caidin?” his familiar voice called from outside of the bathroom door. I nervously put my hair behind my ear. I never wanted him to read what I had written, but I’m almost positive he had. He used to make lyrical references from the last paragraph all the time. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just relaxing,” I shouted, knowing fully that he understood me being in here was my alone time.

“Well,” he paused. I could hear a barely audible sigh. “Are you going to eat?”

“No,” I chuckled. “You can have mine.”

“Sweet!” he exclaimed. “You’re the best!” His voice trailed off mid sentence. And I was alone again. But I kept my smile bright, though I knew I would be in here for another seven hours. I didn’t mind one bit. This place was my safe haven.

“It’s break time; want to come out now, Hun?” Cayce asked hours later, patiently waiting outside the door. He knew never to come in here.

My eyes fluttered at the sincerity in his voice. I pulled my iPod out of my ear and let the headphones fall to the ground, blasting an array of drums and vocals. I turned off the device and wrapped the ear pieces around the body before shoving it back into my pocket. “I suppose.” The toilet clinked when my shorts caught on it as I stood back up on my feet. My knees shook slightly, adjusting to a different position after three hours of being bent. As I opened the stall door, I realized Cayce was inside of the bathroom. “What are you doing in here?” I smirked. “Girls only?”

“You were taking too long,” he laughed, his fingers shaking from keeping the fairly heavy door held open for me. “Come on, I’m tired. Today is going really slowly.”

“Not for me,” I smiled, walking past him quickly, my spirits far higher than they were hours ago. “What are we going to do on break?”

“We can go for a walk?” he proposed, catching up to my pace. “By the conveyer belts. Maybe see some of the finished airplanes?”

“If that’s really the most exciting thing to do here, than I guess,” I shrugged, trying to keep ahead of Cayce a bit. When we walked side by side, our hands always touched, making everything even more uncomfortable.

“Well you can meet some of the employees if that sounds more exhilarating,” he suggested.

“That does actually. I like human contact.”

We hurried out of his office and took a sharp right, striding down the blue hallway. I ran my fingers across the wall, lifting up my hand every time I passed a window. I peered out of one for a split second and realized that no matter how sunny and beautiful it looked outside, its true nature was awful and bitterly cold. Cayce nudged me with his shoulder and pointed to a man turning the corner ahead of us.

“This is Tristan, he’s one of our wing mechanics,” he pointed out, waving to the man. He nodded and smiled back, his baggy eyes extenuating his true features. “Tristan, this is Caidin, my room mate.” I tried to hold my smile as the sting of his comment seeped in.

“Nice to meet you,” he said politely, his short stature catching me off guard as he neared. He seemed very large from afar, but up close was maybe a few inches taller than me. I smiled and nodded back as he passed. I waited until I heard his footsteps disappear before I spoke.

“Is everyone here, well, older?” I asked modestly.

“Nah,” he shrugged. “The newer mechanics are in their twenties and thirties.”

“Alright…” I trialed off. Elder people made me nervous. Being able to predict their year of death within the next decade made me incredibly nervous and upset.

“Why?” he asked curiously, eyeing me as he kept his head forward.

“No reason.”

We turned the corner Tristan had walked around, which opened up into the cafeteria. About a dozen men stood in line, waiting impatiently for their food. I eyed the tables slowly, searching for anybody I may have met months ago. No body looked familiar. Cayce led me to the beverage stand and rested a hand on a man’s shoulder. “Anthony?” He turned around slowly, brushing Cayce’s hand off of him. His eyes turned to surprise when he saw us in front of him.

“Oh, Mr. Cayce!” he exclaimed, eyes gradually lighting up with life. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was you!”

“No problem,” he smirked, allowing his arm to fall back to his side. “This is Caidin, my room mate.” It hurt less this time. I smiled once and turned to face away from the pair, disregarding how rude I must have seemed. A light breeze blew my hair as someone hurried by, bumping me harshly, as he rushed to get in the other line for a drink. My eyebrows rose as I eyed the man, him being equally as rude as I had been.

I frowned, crossing my arms as I burned holes into the back of his head; though he did look much younger than anyone else I had seen. His hair fell just past his shoulders, running jet black. It resembled Cayce’s, but not nearly as kempt. He raised one of his hands to scratch at his mop, revealing a sleeve of colorful tattoos.

“Ah, Adi!” Cayce hollered, turning towards the young man. He jumped a bit and faced him, his profile to me. “I want you to meet someone. This is my room mate, Caidin.” The man named Adi turned to me, looking more like a boy than an adult.

My jaw struggled not to drop as his enticing green eyes met mine. He smirked, flicking his wrist in a weak wave. His thin lips fell back into a frown as his sparkling eyes dulled a bit. “Uh, ‘ello,” he chuckled. His English accent caught me off guard. His hair stayed matted against his cheek as he turned back to the line.

“You alright, Caidin?” Cayce asked me, leading the two of us away from Adi.

“I’m fine,” I sighed, slowing to a casual stride rather than speed walking beside Cayce. “I just didn’t believe you when you said that there were people that young here.”

“He’s already twenty three,” he commented smartly. “That isn’t that young. I’m just two years older than him, it’s not that much of a difference.” I shrugged and continued on, not responding to his statement. He laughed lightly. “What, do you like him or something?”

“You know I’m not the kind of person to fall for someone instantly, Cayce,” I growled. “I don’t believe in that crap.”

“’Well, than what was the case with me?” he asked mockingly. My nostrils flared as I felt my face turn red. The one thing I could not stand him doing was bringing up our relationship. Especially since he always seemed to make fun of it. “We got together ten minutes after we met.”

“That’s completely different,” I shot back angrily, focusing on the pattern of my footsteps as I stepped over every line in the tile floor.

“How?”

“I don’t know, just drop it. It’s not funny anymore.”

“What’s your problem?” he snarled, turned back to glare at me. “I’m not trying to be funny. That’s just what happened with us, so I figured it could happen with dreamy Adi.”

“He’s not even good looking to me!” I shouted furiously, stopping in my tracks right outside of his office. He continued in as I balled my fists. “I actually thought he was a girl at first! Now leave me the hell alone!”

“Wow, Caidin,” Cayce scoffed. “Grow up.” He let the door shut in my face, just inches from my nose. The bell signaling that break was over rang loudly and echoed throughout the building. I stood silently outside the door as the bell faded away, leaving a slow to fade ring in my ears.