Ochlophobia

Me and Brendon had separated from each other a while ago, and were now back on my sofa, sharing a blanket and almost worryingly close as we watched Shrek. Several times, when he curled that little bit closer, I pulled myself away slightly, despite feeling guilty at the flash of hurt in his eyes.

“Don’t Ryan… I’m just trying to get comfy.” He whined annoyingly at me, as I scooted away slightly again. Sighing, I shuffled in my seat, before opening my arms, proffering a hug to Brendon. I focused on my breathing as the unfamiliar feel of someone close to me began to work its magic- black magic, I mean. I didn’t know why this feeling came and went- earlier I had been fine. But I guess I was still tense from earlier, still panicking and feeling ill. I couldn’t help my reactions, though I had a vague idea of how to control them. I let out a deep sigh, shoulders heaving with my breath, and Brendon’s beautiful, soft hair which tickled my cheek lightly, ends brushing on my skin. Looking down through my eyelashes, I noticed Brendon’s eyes were closed as he snuggled closer into me, and once again I found myself entranced by the beauty he seemed to emanate. To say I was a little annoyed about the fact I would not be able to see this dazzling boy while he was in school would be an understatement. I relaxed slightly, to almost try and absorb some of the attention-grabbing good looks. Then maybe some of the never-ending courage he seemed to keep. That would be good, and then maybe I could go out in public and not get scared, maybe I could go to school, maybe I could go shopping and but my own clothes… No offence to my Mother, but these weren’t the best clothes to wear- the ill-fitting hoodie and the jeans that hung off my hips.

Speaking of which, Brendon had just slipped his long, slightly callused fingers onto the revealed skin of my left hip, and had begun tracing patterns- circles and swirls and other soft, unidentifiable patterns that just seemed to be traced to sooth and make me relax. I let out a lighter sigh than before- little more than a mellifluous breath that hung in the air for a moment, before being whisked away by the song of a sweet blue bird and Princess Fiona. I noticed that we both tensed and winced as Fiona let out a scream. He wasn’t yet asleep then, but the lack of noise and movement from him led me to assume he was on the cusp of sleep as it was. I sat back, allowing my own heavy eyes to crawl shut. However, they flew open when I felt Brendon’s velvety lips on my neck.

“What are you doing?” I rasped, almost letting out a terrified sound, the quiver in my voice showing exactly how scared I had suddenly become, despite myself.

His breath was warm on my neck, and I felt myself beginning to like the light touches on my neck, but he stopped, and his voice was little more than a sigh. “I’m doing absolutely nothing.”

A muted whimper extracted itself from my lips. “Don’t stop now…”

Brendon, though seemingly at least a little confused, began to lay light kisses on my neck again, though his lips became more sluggish and eventually he stopped, beginning to breathe deeply and gently, most certainly asleep.

I sighed and pushed my nose into his hair, inhaling and letting my eyes fall closed. I too succumbed to the beast of sleep, letting darkness inhale me as I fell into a dreamless slumber.