The Invasion Of The Toothbrush
The Invasion Of The Toothbrush
Once upon a time, in the year 2030, there was a twelve-year-old boy named Joe. He looked like a lot of other kids, brown hair, and brown eyes. Joe wasn’t very smart, hated loud music, and had VERY BAD dental hygiene.
Joe’s dad works, for NASA, and his dad brought him there for “Take Your Kids To Work” day. Joe’s dad let him wander around, and Jo wandered around…He wandered around to the place where they kept the space shuttles. Joe decided to get on it, fool around, see what’s it’s like. Suddenly, the space ship took off when he was in it. Turned out the space ship was empty and Joe was the only one on it. Don’t ask me why they launched the ship in the first place.
Joe walked into a room full of spacesuits and found one in his size. As he squeezed his feet into a pair of boots, he stared in disgust at the slimy residue on the bottom of it. Joe moaned, “Oh gross, there’s mould in my boots! Ugh, it’s so green…and…slimy. These boots look like they haven’t been worn since the 19th century!”
BAM!
“What now?” Joe groaned as he looked out the nearest window. “Holy crap! An asteroid is heading for the engine! Nooo…” BOOOM! Joe sighed, “Oh well, we don’t need an engine.”
Joe looked out the window a second time. This time, they were headed towards a black hole. Being the stupid kid he was, Joe cried out, “AWESOME! THERE’S A FUCKING BLACK HOLE OVER THERE!” Joe stared at the black hole for a couple of minutes. “It looks very black. Looks like a safe place to rest, ” Joe commented to himself.
Back on Earth
Joe’s parents were very frightened, terrified and worried about the mysterious disappearance of Joe…
Well…not really…
Back In Space
“Yahoooo!” Joe yelled wildly. The ship was being tossed, flipped and turned in all different directions. “I’M ON A FRIGGIN’ ROLLER COASTER!!!! Wheeeeee!”
BLOP
The space ship had landed on a planet shaped like a tooth. The ground was shiny white, like teeth you see on those toothpaste commercials. “You need sunglasses for this bad boy,” Joe grinned as he walked off the space ship.
Joe, being stupid (AGAIN), forgot to anchor the space ship down to the ground. As Joe admired the landscape (which wasn’t very exiting, just a long, flat, white surface like Saskatchewan does), there was a SHHH sound. Joe quickly turned around and saw that the space ship was gone. Joe merely shrugged and scoffed, “Bubble gum costs more than that piece of junk did.”
Joe started walking, and came across a sign. He couldn’t read it because he was very illiterate. He pressed a red button on the side of the sign. Suddenly, elevator music came on, and a cheerful voice came from a speaker. “Welcome to Dental Planet! Home of the best teeth shining industry in the universe!”
Suddenly, the sign flipped, and a dull, bored voice came on the speaker. “Welcome to Dental Planet, the worst place in space and home of the worst teeth ever.”
“Uh…kay then…” Joe slowly said.
“Oh look! There’s a tourist!” Someone behind Joe cried out happily. Joe whirled around to see a toothbrush, and a floss case.
“Um…I knew I shouldn’t have crack before I came here…” Joe muttered to himself. “I must be fucking dreaming.”
The toothbrush was one of those electric ones, yellow handle with blue bristle hair. The floss case was orange, and had purple flossy hair. Joe stared at the purple hair, “Grape flavour, evil.” Joe mumbled.
“Hello there Mr Tourist!” the floss case smiled. Joe continued to stare, he was dumbfounded. That smile was so fake. “I am Plucker! And that is my boss, Hygiener! Welcome to Dental Planet! Activity brochures are on you right, and tours are on your second left! Get free teeth waxing with a purchase of our latest tooth paste-”
Hygiener kicked Plucker, and Plucker immediately shut up. “Don’t mind my side kick,” he smiled evilly. “Do you need a place to stay? There’s a hotel behind us.” Joe looked behind him, and sure enough, there was a hotel. Like the planet, it was shaped like a tooth.
Plucker helped Joe register into then hotel. Joe stared at the clerk, who was a tube of Crest toothpaste. The toothpaste asked Joe for a fee of 10 floss strings. It was weird…and awkward. Good thing Plucker paid for Joe…It was very painful for him, though.
Joe thanked Plucker and Hygiener and walked to his hotel room, shaking his head at the weird things. As soon as Joe got into the room, he noticed everything was shaped like a tooth. A tooth shaped bed, tooth shaped mirror, tooth shaped closet, tooth shaped desk, tooth shaped everything! Joe sighed and decided to go for a walk.
He walked down the corridor and stopped short in front of a door that said-”PRIVATE SCREENING-EMPLOYEES ONLY”. Too bad Joe can’t read. He waltzed in and saw the weirdest thing on the screen. It looked like some toothpaste commercial. The screen sang, “Brush, brush, floss, floss, smile, smile! Brush your teeth, it’s good for you!” In a really catchy tune, but not catchy enough for Joe.
Joe heard a voice. “This is the greatest idea ever!” It was Plucker.
“I know, because we’re evil!” Hygiener replied as he cackled manically.
“Never trust grape flavoured floss,” Joe muttered to himself.
“And now there’s only two hours until we can send the transmission to Earth!” Hygiener continued on. Joe gasped, what does that supposed to mean? Are they going to broadcast another really bad toothpaste commercial?
The screen started flashing-”SEND TO EARTH FOR HYPNOTIZING EARTHLINGS INTO BRUSHING AND FLOSSING EVERY SECOND.” Hygiener and Plucker continued laughing and left the room out another door Joe couldn’t see.
Joe snuck over to the screen; on the left was a telescope, strangely. Joe curiously looked through it. What looked like a cinnamon swirl was heading to Earth. “OH MY GOSH! CINNANOM BUNS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE EARTH!” Joe yelled out in surprise. He suddenly clasped a hand over his mouth. “Oh noooo,” Joe moaned to himself.
“Plucker, what was that?” Joe heard Hygiener say. Joe panicked, and somehow squeezed himself into the telescope.
“Hmm, I think my cell phone is ringing.”
“Not that you idiot, it came from the screening room!” Somehow, Hygiener knew Joe was in he telescope, and pulled him out. Joe tried to get out, but Hygiener’s grip on him was too tight…how can a toothbrush have too much of a grip on you? Anyway…Hygiener told Plucker to get the boom box. Hygiener grinned and turned it on, and heavy metal blasted through the speakers. He knew Joe hated loud music.
Joe started screaming and Hygiener-still grinning-turned to Plucker. ’Watch him, I’m going to Earth…”
Soon enough, Joe was sitting next to Plucker, talking about Plucker’s feelings. “How do you feel about being evil?” Joe asked as Plucker lies down on the couch.
“Depressed, very depressed,” Plucker said sadly, as he stared at the ceiling. “Please don’t tell master on me.” Plucker pleaded, Joe nodded and promised.
“Only if you turn good,” Joe said.
“Okay!” Plucker chirped as he sat up eagerly.
“So, tell me, what’s the story with Hygiener?”
“He hates human teeth,” Plucker replied. “Especially ones with very, very, very, bad dental hygiene.” Joe nodded, and together they hatched a plan. A few minutes were left until Hygiener’s plan was into effect. Soon, Hygiener came into the room, screaming his fucking head off.
“I DID IT!” Hygiener screamed, with a happy look on his face. As soon as he saw Plucker’ frowning face, his smile faded. “Where’s the boy?” Hygiener snapped. “And what are you doing?”
Plucker suddenly smiled. “Being good.” Joe jumps up and took some floss from Plucker and made a loop with it. The floss flew over and around Hygiener. “No! Don’t do it, Plucker!” Hygiener pleaded as Joe tightened the knot. ’What are you going to do with me?”
“We’re going to send you to the worst teeth ever,” Plucker plainly said, pointing at Joe. Hygiener looked at Plucker, then at Joe’s mouth, then back at Plucker. Joe’s teeth were as yellow as ever. Joe grabbed Hygiener and started to brush his teeth with him. Strangely, the toothbrush started to melt away. As he was melting, he cried, “I’m melting!” over and over again.
As soon as Hygiener dissolved away, Plucker and Joe high fived each other. Joe smiled…then he smelt something…something like…bubble gum. Joe stared at Plucker’s floss hair; it was now pink-Bubble gum flavoured floss.
“Am I good now?” Plucker asked, jumping up and down.
Joe smiled and nodded, “Yeah, you’re good now.”
Joe thanked Plucker and said good-bye. Now he had to get back home, but that’s another story…another story I’m not going to tell.
Joe’s dad works, for NASA, and his dad brought him there for “Take Your Kids To Work” day. Joe’s dad let him wander around, and Jo wandered around…He wandered around to the place where they kept the space shuttles. Joe decided to get on it, fool around, see what’s it’s like. Suddenly, the space ship took off when he was in it. Turned out the space ship was empty and Joe was the only one on it. Don’t ask me why they launched the ship in the first place.
Joe walked into a room full of spacesuits and found one in his size. As he squeezed his feet into a pair of boots, he stared in disgust at the slimy residue on the bottom of it. Joe moaned, “Oh gross, there’s mould in my boots! Ugh, it’s so green…and…slimy. These boots look like they haven’t been worn since the 19th century!”
BAM!
“What now?” Joe groaned as he looked out the nearest window. “Holy crap! An asteroid is heading for the engine! Nooo…” BOOOM! Joe sighed, “Oh well, we don’t need an engine.”
Joe looked out the window a second time. This time, they were headed towards a black hole. Being the stupid kid he was, Joe cried out, “AWESOME! THERE’S A FUCKING BLACK HOLE OVER THERE!” Joe stared at the black hole for a couple of minutes. “It looks very black. Looks like a safe place to rest, ” Joe commented to himself.
Back on Earth
Joe’s parents were very frightened, terrified and worried about the mysterious disappearance of Joe…
Well…not really…
Back In Space
“Yahoooo!” Joe yelled wildly. The ship was being tossed, flipped and turned in all different directions. “I’M ON A FRIGGIN’ ROLLER COASTER!!!! Wheeeeee!”
BLOP
The space ship had landed on a planet shaped like a tooth. The ground was shiny white, like teeth you see on those toothpaste commercials. “You need sunglasses for this bad boy,” Joe grinned as he walked off the space ship.
Joe, being stupid (AGAIN), forgot to anchor the space ship down to the ground. As Joe admired the landscape (which wasn’t very exiting, just a long, flat, white surface like Saskatchewan does), there was a SHHH sound. Joe quickly turned around and saw that the space ship was gone. Joe merely shrugged and scoffed, “Bubble gum costs more than that piece of junk did.”
Joe started walking, and came across a sign. He couldn’t read it because he was very illiterate. He pressed a red button on the side of the sign. Suddenly, elevator music came on, and a cheerful voice came from a speaker. “Welcome to Dental Planet! Home of the best teeth shining industry in the universe!”
Suddenly, the sign flipped, and a dull, bored voice came on the speaker. “Welcome to Dental Planet, the worst place in space and home of the worst teeth ever.”
“Uh…kay then…” Joe slowly said.
“Oh look! There’s a tourist!” Someone behind Joe cried out happily. Joe whirled around to see a toothbrush, and a floss case.
“Um…I knew I shouldn’t have crack before I came here…” Joe muttered to himself. “I must be fucking dreaming.”
The toothbrush was one of those electric ones, yellow handle with blue bristle hair. The floss case was orange, and had purple flossy hair. Joe stared at the purple hair, “Grape flavour, evil.” Joe mumbled.
“Hello there Mr Tourist!” the floss case smiled. Joe continued to stare, he was dumbfounded. That smile was so fake. “I am Plucker! And that is my boss, Hygiener! Welcome to Dental Planet! Activity brochures are on you right, and tours are on your second left! Get free teeth waxing with a purchase of our latest tooth paste-”
Hygiener kicked Plucker, and Plucker immediately shut up. “Don’t mind my side kick,” he smiled evilly. “Do you need a place to stay? There’s a hotel behind us.” Joe looked behind him, and sure enough, there was a hotel. Like the planet, it was shaped like a tooth.
Plucker helped Joe register into then hotel. Joe stared at the clerk, who was a tube of Crest toothpaste. The toothpaste asked Joe for a fee of 10 floss strings. It was weird…and awkward. Good thing Plucker paid for Joe…It was very painful for him, though.
Joe thanked Plucker and Hygiener and walked to his hotel room, shaking his head at the weird things. As soon as Joe got into the room, he noticed everything was shaped like a tooth. A tooth shaped bed, tooth shaped mirror, tooth shaped closet, tooth shaped desk, tooth shaped everything! Joe sighed and decided to go for a walk.
He walked down the corridor and stopped short in front of a door that said-”PRIVATE SCREENING-EMPLOYEES ONLY”. Too bad Joe can’t read. He waltzed in and saw the weirdest thing on the screen. It looked like some toothpaste commercial. The screen sang, “Brush, brush, floss, floss, smile, smile! Brush your teeth, it’s good for you!” In a really catchy tune, but not catchy enough for Joe.
Joe heard a voice. “This is the greatest idea ever!” It was Plucker.
“I know, because we’re evil!” Hygiener replied as he cackled manically.
“Never trust grape flavoured floss,” Joe muttered to himself.
“And now there’s only two hours until we can send the transmission to Earth!” Hygiener continued on. Joe gasped, what does that supposed to mean? Are they going to broadcast another really bad toothpaste commercial?
The screen started flashing-”SEND TO EARTH FOR HYPNOTIZING EARTHLINGS INTO BRUSHING AND FLOSSING EVERY SECOND.” Hygiener and Plucker continued laughing and left the room out another door Joe couldn’t see.
Joe snuck over to the screen; on the left was a telescope, strangely. Joe curiously looked through it. What looked like a cinnamon swirl was heading to Earth. “OH MY GOSH! CINNANOM BUNS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE EARTH!” Joe yelled out in surprise. He suddenly clasped a hand over his mouth. “Oh noooo,” Joe moaned to himself.
“Plucker, what was that?” Joe heard Hygiener say. Joe panicked, and somehow squeezed himself into the telescope.
“Hmm, I think my cell phone is ringing.”
“Not that you idiot, it came from the screening room!” Somehow, Hygiener knew Joe was in he telescope, and pulled him out. Joe tried to get out, but Hygiener’s grip on him was too tight…how can a toothbrush have too much of a grip on you? Anyway…Hygiener told Plucker to get the boom box. Hygiener grinned and turned it on, and heavy metal blasted through the speakers. He knew Joe hated loud music.
Joe started screaming and Hygiener-still grinning-turned to Plucker. ’Watch him, I’m going to Earth…”
Soon enough, Joe was sitting next to Plucker, talking about Plucker’s feelings. “How do you feel about being evil?” Joe asked as Plucker lies down on the couch.
“Depressed, very depressed,” Plucker said sadly, as he stared at the ceiling. “Please don’t tell master on me.” Plucker pleaded, Joe nodded and promised.
“Only if you turn good,” Joe said.
“Okay!” Plucker chirped as he sat up eagerly.
“So, tell me, what’s the story with Hygiener?”
“He hates human teeth,” Plucker replied. “Especially ones with very, very, very, bad dental hygiene.” Joe nodded, and together they hatched a plan. A few minutes were left until Hygiener’s plan was into effect. Soon, Hygiener came into the room, screaming his fucking head off.
“I DID IT!” Hygiener screamed, with a happy look on his face. As soon as he saw Plucker’ frowning face, his smile faded. “Where’s the boy?” Hygiener snapped. “And what are you doing?”
Plucker suddenly smiled. “Being good.” Joe jumps up and took some floss from Plucker and made a loop with it. The floss flew over and around Hygiener. “No! Don’t do it, Plucker!” Hygiener pleaded as Joe tightened the knot. ’What are you going to do with me?”
“We’re going to send you to the worst teeth ever,” Plucker plainly said, pointing at Joe. Hygiener looked at Plucker, then at Joe’s mouth, then back at Plucker. Joe’s teeth were as yellow as ever. Joe grabbed Hygiener and started to brush his teeth with him. Strangely, the toothbrush started to melt away. As he was melting, he cried, “I’m melting!” over and over again.
As soon as Hygiener dissolved away, Plucker and Joe high fived each other. Joe smiled…then he smelt something…something like…bubble gum. Joe stared at Plucker’s floss hair; it was now pink-Bubble gum flavoured floss.
“Am I good now?” Plucker asked, jumping up and down.
Joe smiled and nodded, “Yeah, you’re good now.”
Joe thanked Plucker and said good-bye. Now he had to get back home, but that’s another story…another story I’m not going to tell.