Skin

On August third Audrina passed away surrounded by her family and loved ones. It was quiet and as peaceful and is possible. I have never felt such unimaginable pain before in my life.

My life is gone, dead, never coming back. The woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, have children with, is dead.

“It’s time man,” Raph says, poking his head inside of Audrina’s room where I sat on her bed, my head in my hands. I look up at her brother, tears clouding both of our eyes. I clear my throat before standing up and straightening out my suit and walking out into the sun with her family and into the car towards the funeral home. Today was the day that we were going to bury her right beside her grandfather, who also passed on from cancer just a year ago.

Audrina had two days of open casket visitation and today was the funeral service and burial. We pull up outside of the door. I walk slowly up the stairs and wipe a stray tear away as a soft wind blows around my face, the familiar scent of roses clouding my head. The same smell that surrounded me all throughout my relationship with Audrina. I cough lightly to hide my sobs as we walk into the hall. All of us behind the casket as they roll it up the center of the church. We sit in the pews as service begins.

After an hour and a half she is completely gone and I cannot remember of moment of it. It was a blur of tears and memories. I didn’t even try to hold in nor hide my tears. I was sitting on the steps of the church staring off into the setting sun when the guys all come out and stand around me. About twenty minutes later two older slightly bald men walk up to us in black suits with dark black sunglasses covering their eyes.

“Matthew Sanders?” one of them says softly. I nod slightly before standing up.

“I am so sorry for your loss,” the say in hushed voices as one of them pull out two envelopes from the inside of his breast pocket. “My name is Michael Jaemson, and this is Andrew McCleen. We are representatives from Warner Brothers records. About a week and a half ago Miss Audrina came to us with a recording of your band. A rough demo. We decided that the world needs more music like yours, we would like to offer the band, Avenged Sevenfold, a contract with Warner.” He hands me one of the envelopes. Our jaws drop as a very strong gust of rose scented wind blows around us all for a moment causing Jimmy to laugh lightly as Brian’s hat flew off. A move that Audrina did countless times during something serious.

“We accept.” we all say to them at the same time. The men smile before the hand me another envelope entitled: The Audrina Newton Foundation. My eyes go wide and stare at them, mouth hanging open.

“If you would allow us to set up this foundation, five dollars from all of your record sales will go to this foundation. The money will be used to help cancer research mainly for stomach cancer so that it can be diagnosed and treated faster. The money would supply hospitals with the equipment needed and the patients with the hope to help them through.”

“This isn’t up to us,” I say flabbergasted. I of course had no objections. “Shouldn’t you be asking her parents, her family?”

“They already asked us Matt,” Audrina’s mother said, laying her hand softly on my arm. “We said it was up to you.”

“Of course,” I said more tears falling. “Please set up this foundation, and please, do what ever you need to.”

“Open the envelope son,” the man that handed me the envelope said smiling. I nod and swallow before opening the seal carefully. Inside was a check. Mrs. Newton squeezes my arm as we all gasp.

“No way,” Lou says, as tears shake her slender body and Zack pulls her to him kissing her head.

“Warner Brothers is donating $2 500 000 to this foundation. And we will help endorsements as much as is possible, if you let us.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes and wipe away the last tear as another breeze pushes around us. I nod my head in agreement.

Audrina Leanne Newton may not be here with us physically but her life will go on forever helping those around her. Her memory will always be with us, kicking our ass when we need it. She will love us.

And this love will not just be on the outside.

It will be Skin Deep.