As Snow Falls on Desert Sky

I felt myself being awakened by an incessant sharp pain in my shoulder. I groaned and tried to massage the pain away. The pain in my shoulder was soon replaced with a sharper pain in my side. I assumed it was the bruise left there courtesy of Sid, and ignored it. I probably shouldn’t have done that ‘cause right as I turned over, I felt the cold, clammy feeling going down my back that one can only get if someone put an ice cube down their shirt.

I popped up instantly, screaming, yelling and jumping around. A stream of profanities had left my mouth before I managed to remove the frozen water. Once it dropped to the ground I looked around for the first time, taking in my surroundings. I was in the arena, but it was completely empty, save for the four people around me. I starred at them in their face trying to remember who they were.

Then I remembered. I was at a Jonas Brothers concert with Max, my best friend, whom currently was right in my face along with Nick and Kevin. I turned my head to the side and saw Joe in the background laughing hysterically at something, probably my reaction to the ice in my shirt.

“What happened?” I asked still slightly dazed and confused.

“You fell asleep,” Max said in a tone that was mix between embarrass and pissed off.

“How you managed to sleep with all that noise, I’ll never know,” said Kevin.

I bit back the sarcastic reply to his comment that had been on the tip of my tongue.

“How long was I out?” I asked.

“You missed the whole concert,” Max said in an unemotional tone. She was mad at me.

Once again I bit back a sarcastic and insulting comment.

“Oh, well. Max, are you ready to go?” I asked as I began walking towards the exit. I stumbled a bit and walked into a wall sending me flying to the ground and landing on my much bruised back. I let out a cry in pain and Nick came over to help me up.

He held out his hand and I took it gratefully and thanked him as he pulled me up. I let go of his embrace and continued walking towards the door. I stumbled again and I had almost fell, but the young Mr. Jonas was there to catch me.

“Are you okay to drive?” he asked as I got out for his grip and began to walk away for the second time.

“I fine, I’m just-” I fell again. “I think I may need a little assistance getting home.”

Nick came over and helped me up again and had an arm wrapped around my waist to prevent me from getting away again.

“Is there someone we can call to come pick you up?” Kevin asked.

“I can call Scott!” Max said before I had a chance to reply. She had already whipped out her cell phone and I heard her talking in the background faintly. She came back several minutes later.

“That bastard!” she said as she slammed her phone shut.

“What happened?” one of the boys questioned I couldn’t tell which.

“He said he wasn’t going to come pick us up because he has ‘practice’. Our schools basketball team does not practice in the summer. Then when I called him on the lie, he just came out with it and said that he’s not picking us up because he doesn’t even like Ricky and wouldn’t mind seeing her get into a car accident in her current state. He didn’t even say anything about me. I’m going wherever she’s going, so if she’s in an accident then I’m in one too. He didn’t even care. He sounded inebriated though the whole conversation too, so I wouldn’t trust him behind the wheel of a car anyway. I’m so gonna break up with him tomorrow.”

“That was a very fine speech Max, but a little unnecessary, seeing as I can drive myself,” I said trying to pry myself from Nick but he wasn’t letting up.

“Oh no you don’t,” said Nick as he tightened his grip.

“Yeah, I don’t think it would be a wise decision if we let you drive tonight,” said Kevin.

“How are we going to get home?” Max asked.

Kevin thought about it for a moment before saying “I guess I could drive you home.”

“What about my car?” was the first thing out of my mouth.

“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that,” he admitted.

“I have a suggestion,” Max said attentively. “Why don’t Kevin drive us home in Ricky car and Joe follows in ya’lls?”

“That’s a good idea Max,” I said genuinely surprised.

“Alright,” Kevin said. “Where’re your keys?”

I handed him my car keys as Max shouted out “I’m riding with Joe!”

I stared I her, my mouth agape “What?! What was with all that ‘I’m going wherever she’s going’ shit you were just spewing out of your mouth?!”

“I’ll still be going where you go, I’ll just be following in a car with Joe and Nick.”

“I’m riding with Ricky,” Nick said.

“I’ll just be following in a car with Joe and I. Alone. In the car,” she corrected herself.

I just stared at her and laughed. We all walked out of the arena, Nick still had a hold on me, and out into the parking lot. My car was one of the three that was left in the nearly deserted parking lot.

Kevin opened the door and slid into the driver’s seat while Nick and I sat in the back. I looked over and saw Joe getting in one of the remaining two cars in the driver’s seat and Max in the passenger’s with a goofy smile on her face. I faced the front as Kevin started to drive off.

I made small talk with Nick while giving Kevin the directions to my house. We had made to my place in no time at all, the streets were unusually empty. Once, Kevin had shut off the car, her had gotten out, followed by Nick and he help me out as well. As Kevin handed me my keys, Joe had pulled up with Max and they both had got out. I gave Max a hug, before turning to Kevin.

“Thanks for the ride Kevin. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” he said while giving me a hug. Just as we pulled away I heard my front door slam open and a refining “Ri’Kaylah Simmons! Where the hell have you been?!”

I turned around and saw an angry Sid standing on my porch. From the look in his bloodshot eyes, I assumed that he had just been drinking.

“Get in the car Kevin,” I said in a dead tone still looking at Sid.

He looked reluctant to do so, but complied nonetheless and I soon heard four car doors shut. I turned to look Max dead in the eye, silently pleading with her to not say anything to the brothers. I turned to look at Sid. He was approaching me and fast.

“I said ‘Where the hell have you been’!” he screamed. He was right in my face now and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I said nothing. He got agitated and grabbed me by the back of my neck, brought my face close to his and screamed “Answer me when I’m talking to you!!”

“Can we talk about this in the house?” I asked in my most calming tone of voice while nudging my head in the direction of the car filled with spectators. Sid seemed to get the hint because he let go of my head and went back in the house. I stared after him.

“Rick,” Max said catching my attention. “Get in the car. You’re spending the night at my house.”

“No Max, I’m good. Thanks though. I’ll see you tomorrow, and boys, I guess I’ll talk to ya’ll later.”

I grudgingly made my way into the house and as soon as I closed the door to the porch, and the car speed off to take Max home, Sid was in my face.

“This is the last time I’m going to ask you, WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!!!”

“I was hanging out with my friends,” I said in the most noncommittal way possible.

“Who were those guys you were with?”

“Those were my friends,” I said like he was slow.

He back hand slapped me. “Don’t you dare talk back to me you little slut! You always have guys around you. I bet you’re fucking all those boys. And how dare you allow one of your clients drive my car!”

“It’s my car!” I screamed. “I saved up for years to get that!”

“I said shut up!” he yelled as he smacked me again. “You are a good for nothing whore! Why can’t you be more like Tiffany? She’s not a disgrace to the family. I can’t stand to look at you right now. Get the hell outta my sight.”

I made my way up the stairs and to my bedroom. I went in and locked and barricaded the door. I then walked over to the mirror. How dare he call me a slut? His daughter is the fucking slut. I’m still a virgin for fucks sake. I have too many hang ups about my body to get naked in front of someone, plus in my entire life span only one guy has caught my attention, but he wont give me the time of day.

As I looked in the mirror, Sid’s words kept echoing in my head. “You are good for nothing.” Nothing I ever do is good enough; I just want to die I thought to myself. I could feel myself slipping into one of my morbid moods. I walked over to my bedside table and yanked out one of the drawers. I began searching. After I moved my journal and I still didn’t find what I was looking for, I assumed it must have been in the bathroom.

Walking back across my room, I headed around my bed, into my bathroom and pulled the door open. I walked over to my bathroom cupboard above the sink and opened it, showing all of my bathroom products. I moved aside some pads and some shampoo and found what I was looking for, a new blade for my razor. I picked it up with my right hand, closed the cupboard and stared into the mirror.

I dropped my gaze after a few moments and ran left right hand over my right forearm which was covered in layers of cuts, one for every time I’ve ever felt depressed or just needed an out burst for feelings I kept locked up inside, the only way I could think of trying to help cure the pain was by causing more, and more and more with each time.

Transferring the blade from my right to my left hand, I brought the blade down to my right arm, halfway between my wrist and elbow and stalled. I wish they didn't make me feel this worthless! I thought before bringing my blade down swiftly and sharply on my skin, tearing the flesh apart and watching the blood cascade out of my arm with every pump of my heart, feeling a stinging pain for a few seconds before it went away. I repeated this act a few times until I had a nice row of 6 long, thin and bloody cuts running across my arm, which crisscrossed and overlapped the hundreds of other scars that were already there.

I stood watching the blood pump out of all 6 cuts for a little while, before I grabbed some toilet paper and wrapped it firmly around all the wounds and applied pressure to make them stop bleeding. I sat down on the edge of the tub and waited for the blood to slow down, still holding onto my arm. Around a quarter of an hour later, the blood had stopped flowing out and I took the toilet paper away from my arm to see 6 new healing scars to add to my personal collection. I sighed, knowing that the pain I had caused wasn't enough. I quickly wrapped a bandage around the cuts and flushed the toilet paper down the toilet.

I walked out to my bed and flopped down on it, silently praying that Max didn’t say anything to the brothers.