Give It a Chance for Our Love to Start

"Funny," I said coldly, a bit surprised that he knew about that. I couldn't help but admit that I was a bit hurt that Bethany had trusted Nick even to tell him that. And I couldn't help but let the guilt flow through me. "You're actually talking like you know anything."

Nick laughed, shaking his head. "I know more than you think."

"Oh really," I laughed, still a bit angry. Obviously, Bethany had told Nick. He knew about my vow. He knew all about it. "What exactly do you know Nicholas?"

He rolled his eyes. "Joe, Bethany loves you. For whatever reasons, she loves you. Ten years, she poured her heart to you. That's a long time."

"And I have loved her all those years," I sighed. "Nick, I love her. I love her more than anything. But how could she expect me to marry Tinsley? How? I mean, I've poured my soul out for ten years. She wasn't the only one to pour her heart out, you know?"

He smiled sympathetically. "Ten years you thought you were pouring you heart out to Tinsley."

I groaned. "That wasn't my fault. She lied to me Nick. She lied. She made me think she was Tinsley. She let me think she was someone else."

Nick sighed. "Maybe that's it then. I mean, you've been thinking you were in love with Tinsley for ten years. How can be sure you're in love with her now?"

"She can't doubt me," I said quietly. "Nick, I love her. I really love her. She's my everything. Yes, I thought I was in love with Tinsley for ten years. But that was because of the letters Nick. I fell in love with the girl in the letters. That's who I have always loved, and that's who I love, even now. I fell in love with the girl who wrote me about the silliest things, and made me laugh about stuff, and just – just made me feel at home when I was so far away."

He smiled. "So, what I don't get, is why you're being a dick and causing her so much pain?"

"Nick," I sighed. "You – you don't understand." He didn't. Then again, I didn't really understand it. Why did I want her to do this? Why was I causing her to suffer? Why was I so set on making her marry someone the same day I was forced to marry Tinsley? The answer? I didn't know. That was true, wasn't it? I didn't know, did I?

"So explain it to me," Nick suggested. I glared at him. I hated that Nick knew exactly what to say, and exactly what I didn't want to hear. He chuckled. "Come on Joe. I'm just trying to help."

I sighed. "I love her. I know her."

"And yet you're torturing her," he chimed in. I shot him a look. "Right, sorry, continue."

"For ten years, every email, every word, every though, has been about her. It's been about the girl I fell in love with," I said. I didn't really know where this was going, but I hoped I would know when I got there. "How do you think I feel now, Nick? Now that she's asking me to marry this other girl, who is so in love with me, but as amazing as she may be, I can never feel about her as I do Bethany. I would do anything for her. I am doing this for her. I'm giving everything up for her. She's expecting me to lose this, to lose the love of my life, the reason for my existence, the feeling of being home."

"So," he nodded. "What I'm getting here is that you want her to suffer because you have to."

"No," I said quickly. "I just –"

He smiled. "You're hoping she gives in."

I sighed. "I – don't know. But it's more than that. I need her. I need her to give in, and be with me. I need her with me. How do you know these things so well?"

He shrugged. "I know you. And I know her."

I looked at her, hearing the double meaning in his words. "You love her too."

He looked at his hands, running one through his hair. "Psh, no. What, huh, psh, no!" I smirked at him. "Okay, maybe a little," he admitted.

"Maybe a lot," I mumbled. But then I sighed. It was his fault. Bethany was amazing. It was hard not to fall head over heels for her.

He sighed too. "And yet, as much as I love her, and as great for her I'd be, I can never replace you."

"What," I asked, not sure if I heard him right.

He grimaced, as if they words pained him. "Joe, for ten years, you guys were each other's everything, even if you thought she was Tinsley. You said it yourself, she made you feel at home, even when you weren't. The connection you and Bethany have now, the unbreakable bond you guys developed, I can never have something like that with her."

"Some unbreakable bond," I mumbled. "Last I checked, I was being forced to marry Tinsley."

He laughed quietly. "Joe, doesn't that prove it though?"

"What," I asked.

"Everything you're saying now," Nick said. "All your reasons for what you're doing, all your thoughts, all your love?" I looked at him blankly. None of it made any sense. What the heck was he talking about? He sighed, shaking his head. "Honestly, Joe, sometimes, I wonder about you. You're going through so much pain, aren't you? You need Bethany. You feel lost, blah, blah?"

I smiled slightly at his wording. "Yeah."

"This unbreakable bond, this connection," he continued. "Don't you think it could make Bethany die a bit every time she has to see you with Tinsley?"

"Then why won't she give in," I groaned. "I need her."

"Maybe the bond Tinsley and Bethany have is too strong for us to understand," Nick sighed. "I like to think I'm a fairly perceptive guy. I tend to see more than people say."

"You're telling me," I mumbled. He always saw more than what I wanted to say. It was a bit annoying sometimes.

He smiled, ignoring that. "Do you really think that if Bethany does marry someone else, if you have to see her with another guy, which you will Joe, because Tinsley and Bethany are like sisters, one will never be too far from the other, that it isn't going to crush you as much as it's crushing her?"

I sighed. "I was hoping—"

"That she'd give in before that," Nick finished. I nodded. He smiled sympathetically. "All I know is that Bethany loves you as much as you love her. But Tinsley is her sister. You don't betray family, which is why I haven't told Bethany I loved her. And Bethany is too selfless for her own good. She'd give up her happiness for the people she loves." He got up. "With that said, maybe you should think about reconsidering adding to her miseries by making her marry someone else too."

---

I left Joe deep in thoughts. I could tell. If my words worked, he would at least let Bethany off the hook. I did love her. And it did hurt every time to see her in so much pain. I sighed. I knew I could stop that pain. I knew I could make her whole again, and treat her right, if she ever gave me the chance. But she was too in love with Joe. That was understandable though. The bond stuff I was saying wasn't something I had pulled out of my ass. As much as it killed me, their connection with each other wasn't something I could fully understand. And it was definitely something I would never have with Bethany. Maybe it was time to accept that Bethany was Joe's, as she had always been and as she would always be.

Her door opened as I walked past it. "Nick," she said quietly, walking out and closing the door behind her.

"Yeah," I asked, as she moved closer.

"I was thinking," she said, still moving closer.

"Yeah," I gulped. She was so close now I could feel her breath on my face. It took all my power to stop from reaching out and kissing her. But then it turned out I hadn't had to, because she reached up, and kissed me.