Give It a Chance for Our Love to Start

I took a deep breath and gently stroked her hand. “Bethany, I love you. I have always loved you. I may not have known it was you, but from the moment you answered my first email, you had me. It was irreversible. I know I believed it was Tinsley, but I didn’t fall in love with a face. I fell in love with your words. I wasn’t mesmerized by a vice, but by the things that voice said. For so many years, we’ve been on the move, never really in one spot. You can’t be when you’re a singer. You’re always performing, you’re always moving around. But all I wanted Bethany, was to be happy, to be me. And you gave me that. You gave me a home when I was thousands of miles away on the road for a countless number of days. You gave me a place to put my heart when I just needed someone to guide me. You kept me me. But more than that Bethany. Your words, your advice, your reasoning, your arguments, every letter in your email, you made me who I am today Bethany. I am who I am because you love me too.”

I sighed, and gently touched her face, and closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. Wanted to do this calmly. I had to do this calmly. “Nick really loves you Beth,” I whispered. “He truly loves you. And he wants you to be happy. He knows, just as we both do, that you’ll be as much mine as I am yours, always. But he is willing to give up his happiness because he wants to give you what little he can. And I thought, he loves her. But don’t I? I do, Bethany. I really do. And that’s why I’ve decided that I want your happiness far more than I want mine. I can see now that your happiness is not only tied to mine as is your love, but also, it is tied to Tinsley’s. She’s your sister, in almost every sense of the word. I look at my little brother, and see his suffering, and want to mend it. I want to make him happy as well. I can see why you would give up your own happiness for your sister, just as I would for my brother. And that is why I’m going to go along with whatever you want.”

I was shaking now, my heart breaking in two. I took a deep breath and composed myself. For my brother, for my love, I could do this, I would do this. “We started out as friends, Bethany,” I whispered now. “We ventured into love, reckless love. And we found a place we could both have been happy. We found a place that was meant for only us. I will always believe we were made for each other Bethany, and only each other. But maybe our love story won’t be able to continue in this lifetime. Maybe in this lifetime, we weren’t meant to finish our story. Maybe our story ends as just friends. Sacrificing, selfless, whatever you want to call it Bethany, it sucks. This whole feeling just sucks. I want to be with you, and only you. But I see now, that though we love each other, though we were made for each other, we’ve had too many obstacles standing in our way. Maybe it’s not in our destiny to overcome them.”

I took a deep breath, and kissed her cheek softly. I felt the tears falling out of my eyes and saw them as they landed on her perfect, beautiful, sleeping face. “I’ll always love you Bethany Lyons. You will always belong to me.”

I sighed, and stood back. As if on cue, Nick came back in. I wiped my face before he could see. “I’ll be right back,” I said hoarsely before rushing out of the room.

---

Joe was crying. That much was clear. I could hear it in his face. Why? Probably because of what he had said. I hadn’t heard him though, knowing it would be wrong to eavesdrop. I sat down next to Bethany’s bed, and took her hand again. It was warmer than before, probably from Joe’s grip. I sighed, and gently pushed her hair back with my free hand.

“Bethany, baby, can you hear me,” I whispered. “You know? As much as I love you, sometimes I wonder if you’re too stubborn for your own good. Maybe I should force you to change your mind by telling Tinsley about everything. Maybe the best way to make you happy is by giving you away. But I know telling Tinsley would kill you, which by the way, is the only reason I haven’t.”

I sighed. “I do love you Bethany. But I see my brother suffer, and I see you suffer, and it’s too much sometimes. I want to make you happy, more than anything. I want to see you smile, and laugh, and just – be you. But maybe the best way for you to be you is for you to be with Joe. I know he loves you, and whatever self-sacrificing thing he’s thought is, I know it’s killing him. And I know it’s killing you. It will kill you. And I will be there to pick up the pieces Bethany. But I don’t want to watch you torture yourself so much. I love you. But I want you to be happy. And I know Joe makes you happy.” I sighed. “But as long as you’re being so stubborn, I will always be here.”

I kissed her cheek. The machine started beeping faster. I looked at t in shock. What was going on? Was she in trouble? I looked back at her face. She was grimacing. I gasped. She was grimacing? I intently watched her face. “Bethany baby, can you hear me?”

Her eyes started to flutter. Hey didn’t open, but they didn’t stop. I heard her take a breath. I gasped. She took a breath, as in she as out of a coma. Her eyes still closed, I watched in astonishing awe as her mouth opened ever so slowly. “Joe,” she breathed. I fell back onto the seat, not that I should have been surprised. But that didn’t stop my heart from breaking in two.

I watched as she slowly opened her eyes. She turned to look at me, her eyes so confused. “Nick,” she whispered. “What’s going on? What happened?”

I was by her side in a moment, quelling my own pain for now. “There was an accident baby,” I told her. “A car hit you – and Tinsley.”

“What,” she gasped. “Is Tinsley okay?”

I let my eyes fall on the other bed where Tinsley was still laying. I heard Bethany take a deep breath. “No,” she gasped.