Give It a Chance for Our Love to Start

Joe had left me alone with Tinsley. For that, I was grateful. I needed a moment. The nurse had come in and taken the needles and tubes out. That was only after I had begged her vigorously. I couldn’t sit here while Tinsley was lying there because of me.

If I hadn’t lied to her so much, if I hadn’t taken the love of her life in the first place, she would never had had to feel the need to push me out of the way of that car. She wouldn’t be in a come, fighting for her life.

I slowly and painfully made my way to Tinsley’s bedside. Taking her still hand, I felt tears brim in my eyes. “Hi,” I said quietly. I had heard Joe while he was talking, and I prayed she would hear me now too. I took in her appearance, the bruise on her forehead, the cut on her lip. I was guessing they had happened when she hit the ground. The expression set on her face was not completely peaceful, yet in a slumber. I felt myself breaking as I continued to take it all in.

“Tinsley,” I said quietly. “I um – I hope you can hear me right now. I – want to thank you Tinsley. You saved me, even though I definitely didn’t deserve it. After – if you only know Tins, you might regret it. I’m so sorry for everything Tinsley. I truly am. You have always been like my sister. No, not like. You are my sister, you always have been. You have always been there for me. And I – I haven’t been fair to you. But I promise Tins, when you wake up – that’s all going to change. I’m going to be there for you forever. I can’t lose you.”

I sighed, looking from her to her monitor and back to her. No change. But then, what had I expected? Some miracle because of my voice? But I had to try something. I had to. “Joe misses you too,” I told her, not entirely lying. I could tell he truly cared for her, and seeing her like this killed him too. “He loves you Tins. You can’t leave him.” I felt my heart breaking even as the words came out. But I didn’t care right now. I just wanted her to be okay. “He needs you. You love him too. You can’t leave him.”

Again, there was no change. I sighed, slowly sitting into the seat next to her bed. “Hey,” Nick said, coming in. He kissed my forehead, and comfortingly rubbed my shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” I said. “In a little pain. But whatever.”

“You don’t have to be self-sacrificing Beth,” he reminded me. “We can get you medicine.”

“I’m fine,” I assured him. He looked at me pointedly. “I really am.” I looked at Tinsley, and sighed.

Nick took my hand, seeming to read my mind. “I know I’m worried about her too.” He kissed my forehead and got up, walking to the door. “I’ll let you sit with her alone.”

I smiled at him weakly as he left. I sighed, and looked at Tinsley. “Nick is great. I love him, don’t I,” I asked, more myself than her. “Of course I do. He’s so amazing, and so sweet. He really cares about me.”

I sighed, and looked down at her hand. Then suddenly, too quick for me to even be sure it happened, her hand twitched. “Tins,” I said. Nothing. “Tinsley.” Still nothing. I sighed, and looked down, feeling the pain all over again. The dead hope.

But then it happened again. “Tinsley,” I said, my hopes rising again. I gasped as her hand moved again, then her face, then her eyes. Slowly, she opened them. “Tinsley,” I screamed, hugging her. “You’re awake.” She groaned. “Oh sorry,” I got off of her.

She didn’t say anything, her eyes staring into mine. “You love him,” she whispered, her voice weak and breaking.

“What,” I asked, confused.

“Joe,” she said quietly.

“What,” I gasped. “No, I love Nick.”

“No,” she said. “You don’t.”

“Tins,” I started.

“It’s okay,” she coughed. “I always – I think I knew.”

“Tins, we really don’t have to—“

“No listen,” she commanded. “Bethany, you love him. And he loves you.”

“No, he loves you,” I told her, unable to even speak.

“I should have seen it,” she said. “I should have realized he never looked at me the way he looked at you.” I looked down, wanting to make this go away. She didn’t need this. Again, I was causing her pain. “He knows about the letters, doesn’t he?”

I nodded slowly. Tinsley started coughing loudly. The boys ran in, probably having heard me scream. “Tinsley,” Joe shouted, running to her side. Nick was smiling as he wrapped his arm around my waist. His touch made me cringe. I wasn’t worth it. “I’m so glad you’re awake,” Joe said, kissing her. “I love you.”

“No you don’t,” Tinsley smiled.

“What,” Joe and Nick both said. Nick looked at me as I stared at the ground.

She coughed again. “Bethany, listen,” she said.

“Yes,” I asked her, walking to Joe’s side hear her low voice better.

“I’m not mad,” she told me, probably knowing what I was feeling. “I—“ She coughed again. “I love you B. You’re like my sister. I – I want you to be happy.”

“Tinsley,” Joe said.

“We started as friends,” she cut him off. “And we can end like that.”

“End,” I caught her word choice.

She started coughing even more. Her eyes closed. “Tinsley,” I screamed. The monitor started beeping, and the blue light started flashing. Doctors and nurses ran in, pushing us aside. I was shaking as tears poured down my face. Joe had grabbed me around the waste as I went to run back to her side. I couldn’t leave her. Something was wrong. I couldn’t lose her. I needed her. “Get off,” I begged him. “Tinsley!”

“Bethany, honey,” he said soothingly, holding me tighter as the tears continued to fall.

“No, get off Joe, get off,” I screamed.

“Please restrain her,” one of the doctors told her. “Or we’re going to have to ask her to leave.”

“Bethany, come on,” Joe begged me. I started crying even harder, unable to bear it. What was going on? What was the beeping? What was happening to her?

“Bethany, sweetie,” Nick said, coming over to me. He held his arms out, and I jumped into them, letting him wrap his arms around me. I buried my head into his chest and let the tears fall freely.

The beeping slowed until it was a continuous tone. Sobs broke out in my chest. “Time of death,” one of the doctors called it. “7:32 p.m.”