Memories Won't Let Me Cry

It had been a month since Memphis had arrived home, and everything seemed to be going okay. She was getting along great with her brother, and the guys. And I loved her, I really did; I think it was safe to say that she was now my best friend, besides Brian and Matt.

As for her and Brian, things were good. They were together almost every day, and Brian told me a few days ago that he really believed he was going to get her back, which made me smile. I wanted him-both of them, to be happy.

Things with me, however, haven't been the greatest. I had been sick for the past few weeks; I was throwing up constantly, even thinking about food made me need to gag. I was sleeping a lot more; I could hardly get through a day without needing at least a two hour nap. And I was moody and emotional; I felt sorry for Matt, and the guys, because it seemed that every time they turned around I was snapping, and then apologizing seconds later. They didn't get upset though, which I was thankful for.

"Baby, are you sure you're okay?"

Pulled from my thoughts, I turned my eyes to Matt as he stood beside the bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I turned onto my back and pulled the blankets up further, covering my body. "Just tired."

He frowned and sat down beside me, leaning over me with one arm on the other side of my waist so our chests were touching.

"You don’t look okay. You're really pale again." He pressed the back of his hand to my forehead and frowned even more. "I think you have a fever."

I rolled my eyes. "Matt, it's hot in here. I don't have a fever."

He chewed on his lip ring before shaking his head. "Maybe I shouldn't go-"

"Go." I said assuredly, nodding up at him. "I'm fine."

"Lynds, I don't want to leave you by yourself if you're sick-"

"I am not sick." I groaned, having enough of his worrying. It was kind of flattering, but got very annoying.

"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow, challenging me to say different. "You've been throwing up, you're tired, you've lost weight, you won’t eat, but yet nothing's wrong?"

I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. "Will you stop worrying? It gets very old, very fast, you know."

He sighed and looked away.

Feeling immediately guilty, I brought my eyes to his face and brushed my fingers over his cheek.

"I'm sorry, baby. I just don't want you to ruin your day because of me. I'm fine, I promise. And I'll even stay in bed all day, if that makes you feel better."

He smirked. "You will?"

I smacked his shoulder. "Go out with your sister, and your parents. I'll be fine."

He sighed and kissed me before getting up to grab his sweater.

"Call me if you need anything."

I nodded and smiled when he leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"I love you."

I grinned and kissed him. "Love you, too."

He winked and jogged out of the bedroom and to the front door.

Sighing, I sat up in bed and scrubbed my hands over my face. I felt bad that he was so worried about me, and wished that I knew what was wrong.

Well…I kind of did.

Feeling the fear fill me again, I looked down and pressed my hand to my belly. I didn’t know if I was pregnant or not; it was possible, even though my last pregnancy was…well, different. I rarely threw up, I ate better than I ever had before, I was rarely moody or emotional…the only reason I even knew that I had been pregnant was because I had missed my period twice and Matt made me get a test.

I hadn't missed mine yet, though I was due for it in a few days. And I tried to tell myself that I wasn't pregnant, just because of what happened last time.

I forced the tears away and got up from the bed to stretch. I had promised Matt that I would stay in bed all day, but he had to have known that I wouldn't do that, unless he was with me. So I planned to get up and do something, though I didn’t want to stay in this house by myself.

I thought about what I could do before I headed off to the bathroom.

I would go to Brian's.