Memories Won't Let Me Cry

I stood slightly behind Memphis, holding the bags in my hands as I stared at the little girl, my jaw hanging open in shock.

Memphis had a little girl.

A little girl…

Fuck.

"Guys…" She said shakily. "This is Madison Grace…my daughter."

"Memphis, what…" Brian stammered, his brown eyes wide as he looked from her to the little girl, and then back and forth.

Sighing, Memphis adjusted the little girl on her hip and took a step towards him.

"Brian-"

"How could you not tell me that you have a kid?" He asked, sounding almost hurt for a minute before his face hardened and he took a step away from her. "You had a kid with that asshole?"

"No." She said immediately. "No, Andrew isn't her father. You-"

"Then who is?" He asked, clenching his teeth together.

She looked around at everyone for a moment before saying quietly, "Maybe we should talk about this in private-"

"No, I want to know right now." He demanded, squaring his shoulders and speaking to her in a tone that I had rarely heard him use. And it almost scared me.

Matt was shaking his head slightly before his jaw dropped and he pointed to the little girl. "She's not…their daughter is she?"

Memphis was shaking her head. "No. I was pregnant before…that."

My heart was pounding and my stomach was churning as I looked over to see Corie, Josceline and Katie were standing off to the side, watching everything silently. And then I saw that Madison was peeking at me over her mom's shoulder and I smiled a little. She was really cute, with curly blond hair and chocolate brown eyes.

She wriggled out of her mother's grasp and hopped to the ground, coming over to me to look down into the bags I was holding.

"What's that?" She asked, pointing to the bags.

"Oh…just some food." I replied before remembering, rather suddenly, that one of the bags contained some…items that the guys were not meant to see.

"Memphis, what the fu-"

"Watch your mouth, Matthew." She scolded and when I heard her speak my name, I looked up at her. "Lyndsey, can you take her inside and give her some ice cream?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "Sure. Come on, honey."

"But Mom, I want-"

"Madison, that's your Auntie Lyndsey." Memphis said with a smile, turning her back on the guys for a minute to smile at her daughter. "You go on inside with her, and I'll be there in a minute, okay? She'll give you some ice cream."

"Okay."

I took the bag that Andrew had dropped to the ground for the little girl and slung it over my shoulder before I tried to pick up all the bags again, but Madison jumped forward, her hands open wide.

"I can help." She announced, grinning up at me.

"Okay." I chuckled and gave her the two bags that held the chips, knowing they would be the lightest. "Got them?"

"Uh-huh."

"Let's go."

I started towards the cabin, catching Brian's eye. He had been watching the little girl and when he looked at me I gave him a stern look, hoping that he would take the hint and not be an asshole to Memphis. And then I turned the stern look to Matt and he rolled his eyes at me before looking back at his sister.

Madison kept up a constant chatter on the way to the cabin, commenting on everything she saw; the water, the sand, the trees…everything within her sight had to be talked about, and I let her, not feeling the need to say anything myself. She seemed pretty content to have a one-sided conversation with herself.

When we got into the kitchen, I dumped all the bags on the counter and took the ones she handed me with a, "Thanks, honey."

"Can I have the ice cream now?" She asked, pulling herself onto one of the chairs that sat at the kitchen table.

"Of course. Would you like strawberry, mint chocolate ship, rocky road or vanilla caramel?"

She tilted her head to the side and quirked an eyebrow in thought, a trait that seemed oddly familiar, before she smiled and yelled excitedly, "Strawberry!"

Chuckling a little, I pulled out the tub of ice cream and grabbed a bowl from the cupboard.

"What's your name again?" She asked.

"My name's Lyndsey." I replied, not turning around as I searched through the drawers for the ice cream scooper. I knew it was around here somewhere…

"My mom said you're my auntie. Are you?"

I paused and glanced back at her before I smiled. "If you're mom says I'm your auntie, then I am."

"How come?"

"Well…because I'm dating your Uncle Matt who is your mommy's big brother." I explained, frowning at the ceiling for a moment.

Did a kid her age even know what dating meant?

I had no idea.

"Oh." She said slowly. "I've never had an auntie before, or an uncle."

"No?" I prompted, finally digging the ice cream scooper out of the back of a drawer and turning around to open the tub of strawberry ice cream.

"I'm glad I have an auntie and an uncle." She continued and I smiled over my shoulder at her.

"Well, you have lots of uncles and aunties, kiddo."

Her eyes lit up. "I do? Really?"

"You do." I said with a smile as I glanced at the pregnancy tests in the bag before bringing her ice cream over to her and putting it on the table with the spoon. "I have to bring something upstairs really quickly. Can you stay right here for a minute?"

She nodded her head and smiled around a mouthful of ice cream as I grabbed the bag and jogged up to the bedroom I shared with Matt.

I stood there for a moment, debating where the best place would be, before I sprang towards the closet and threw the door open, stashing the bag on the top shelf in the far left corner and sliding a pile of my tee shirts in front of it.

Closing the door and hoping for the best, I went back down to the kitchen and saw Madison sitting there like a good little girl, quietly eating her ice cream.

"Is it good?" I asked, putting the groceries away to take my mind off what was happening outside.

"Mmhmm." She paused. "Are those men mad at my mommy?"

"No…they're not mad at her." I explained slowly. "They're just confused."

"Oh." She paused again before asking quietly, "Do I have to go back with Andrew?"

Something about the tone of her voice made me pause and I turned to look at her. She had her eyes down on her ice cream, but she wasn't eating anymore. I didn’t know if she was scared or not, but something didn’t sit right with me.

"No, you don't have to go back with Andrew. He brought you here to be with your mom."

She nodded and seemed relieved, and I mad a mental note to talk to Memphis about that later.

But first, I needed to know what the fuck was going on.

"Want to watch some TV?"

She nodded and picked up her ice cream bowl, following me into the living room and sitting on the couch carefully with the bowl. I turned on the TV to Nikelodeon and she immediately recognized what was playing, even though I clearly didn't.

"I have to go outside to talk with your mom for a minute, okay? Can you stay in here for a little while?"

She nodded, not taking her eyes from the TV.

"And if you need anything, just come out, okay?"

She nodded again and looked up at me with a small…smirk.

"Thanks, Auntie Lyndsey."

I smiled down at her and ruffled her hair, thinking how strangely familiar that smirk was. And just as I was walking out the door it hit me and I looked back at her with a shocked gasp.

I'll be damned…

I turned back around and shot through the doorway, needing to know what was going on…and needing to know that I wasn't crazy.

I practically ran back to the others and stood beside Memphis, since it seemed no one was on her side. She glanced at me before turning her eyes back to Brian as he raged at her.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because this isn’t a conversation to have in front of the whole world, Brian." She said in exasperation.

He scoffed. "Right. You just want to put off telling me the truth so you can find a way to lie to me, yet again. Isn’t that right?"

"When have I ever-"

"You never told me you had a fucking kid, Mems!" He shouted, pointing his arm towards the house where little Madison sat, having no clue that everyone was out here fighting about her. "How low is that?"

"I never lied, I just never told you." She said with a roll of her eyes. "There's a difference."

Matt looked ready to say something but I cut him off, "Don't even think about it, Matt."

He snapped his jaw shut and took a step back, looking pissed for a minute before he shook his head.

"You know what?" Brian started backing away. "I don't even want to know why you didn't tell me. I'm done."

"What?" Memphis screeched. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I'm not talking about this anymore. I'm done."

"Just let me explain, Brian-"

"Fuck it." He snapped before turning his back on her completely.

She made a sound of frustration before she screamed, "You know what, Haner? Fuck you, I'm done."

And with that she took off for the house, and to her daughter.

"I can't believe she never told him." Matt muttered. "She never told any of us that she had a daughter."

I looked at him with a blank expression, waiting for him to continue. Jimmy and Zacky seemed to know what I was thinking and they shifted uncomfortably. I think Jimmy muttered something to Matt, but my boyfriend turned shocked eyes on him.

"How can I not say anything about it?" He shot out. "She has a kid. A fucking daughter and she never told any of us. She never told me, our parents…she never even told her boyfriend, who's been waiting years to get her back. What the hell was she thinking?"

"Are you any better?" I asked quietly despite myself and he looked at me.

His face cleared with recognition and he gulped visibly before taking a step towards me.

"Baby-"

I shook my head and started backing away. "Forget it. But before you start shooting your mouth off about your sister's mistakes, Matt, you should take a step back. Because you're far from perfect."

And with that I turned and started back towards the cabin, and moments later the other three girls were following me, leaving the guys to stare after us.

I didn't say anything as I opened the cabin door and stepped inside, seeing Memphis sitting on the couch with Madison in her lap.

Whether she was ready for it or not, we needed the truth.

It was time for some answers.