Memories Won't Let Me Cry

We all sat in silence after Memphis walked out of the room, staring at each other with mixed expressions.

"Who needs reality TV, eh?" Jimmy cracked, elbowing Zacky and Johnny in the sides with his elbows, and they both just rolled their eyes as Jocelyn chuckled and patted him on the head.

"I'm hungry." Johnny announced, jumping up from the couch to head towards the kitchen.

"You've eaten like…three times today." Katie reminded him incredulously.

"I know, but I'm hungry." He whined before disappearing into the kitchen.

"I can’t believe she has a kid." Zacky murmured to himself and I looked at him to see he was shaking his head, a small smile on his lips.

"It's kind of cool, hey?" Jocelyn agreed, smiling at me.

"And she looks oddly familiar." Jimmy said with a little frown.

"She looks like her mom, Jim." Katie said needlessly and he nodded with a shrug.

"There you go."

"Hey, Jimmy?" Johnny shouted from the other room.

"Hah?" Jimmy practically screamed, making Jocelyn jump.

"Want to make me a sandwich?"

I laughed and then Jimmy shouted back, "Make your own damn sandwich, munchkin. I ain't your slave."

I continued to chuckle as they shouted back and forth at each other, but kept my eyes down on the ground as I thought about everything. I did look up, though, when someone nudged my foot and saw Zacky watching me with slightly narrowed eyes.

"You're being awfully quiet."

I shook my head with a smile. "Just thinking."

He nodded before frowning, "Where’s Matt?"

"I don't know." I replied as I got up from the coffee table to look out the window.

I didn't see anything particular, though I wasn't really looking for anything specific. I was trying to get all my thoughts in order when I heard yelling coming from outside.

"What's that?" Katie asked.

Pressing my face to the window, I peered as far as I could and frowned when I saw Matt standing there, his one arm flying as he shouted at someone. When he shifted I got a glimpse of blond hair and rolled my eyes.

"You've got to be kidding me…" I muttered to myself, letting the curtain fall closed before I stepped away and walked to the door, telling the others I was going outside just as the door closed behind me.

Matt and Memphis were shouting at each other, and though I couldn't hear what was being said, I intended to find out. The door opened and closed behind me, and I knew the others were coming to find out what was going on, too.

"What the hell are you so upset about, anyways?" Memphis was shouting at him. "It's not like I did anything to you."

"You lied!" Matt raged, and I knew that his normally sparkling hazel eyes were dark with anger. "You lied to everyone; me, mom and dad, our brother, all our friends…how could you do this to Brian? Do you even realize how much he loves you?"

"Of course I do, you asshole. I love him too, just as much, but I-"

"Obviously you don’t if you could lie to him about something like this." Matt scoffed, crossing his arms.

Their voices were getting louder as I slowly made my way closer to them, my hands in the front pockets of my jean shorts.

"How could you say that? Of course I love Brian." Memphis practically screamed. "I love him more than anything. And last I checked, big brother, I don't have to explain myself to you."

"Yes, you fucking do. You do need to explain yourself when it's about conveniently forgetting to tell your family that you have a daughter."'

Memphis was silent for a moment and then she started chuckling bitterly. "This is priceless."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Matt sounded confused, and I was a little, too.

"What could she possibly find funny?" Zacky murmured, and I turned to see he was walking right beside me, with the others trailing close behind.

I didn’t have to answer because she started to speak, and upon hearing the words I stopped walking.

"I'm talking about the fact that you're standing there, acting all innocent and holier-than-thou, and getting on my ass when you're just as bad as I am." She taunted, and I stepped slightly to the side to see she had one hand on her cocked hip, and the other was pointing towards herself. Her eyes were centered dangerously on her brother, flashing with fire. "I never told anyone about my daughter, but I seem to remember you having a three year old son that you failed to tell your future wife about. So don't you dare yell at me, because if I know one thing that you hate being called, it's a hypocrite."

"Hell." Johnny muttered from the other side of me, and when two hands were placed on my shoulders I didn't have to turn around to know that Jimmy was behind me.

"How like you to throw that back in my face?" Matt shouted, taking a step closer to her.

"Maybe if you weren't such an asshole to me, and if you stuck up for me like a big brother is supposed to, then I wouldn't be throwing it back at you, Matthew."

I just knew that he was narrowing his eyes at her, and he took another step forward, growling her name. But my attention was turned when I heard running feet, and in a blur a little body was running past me. With wide eyes I watched as Madison ran right up, her little hands fisted at her sides. I didn’t know what she was going to do, and was shocked when she brought her pink Chuck covered foot up to kick Matt hard, right in the knee.

There was a round of snickers from around me, and I knew Zacky was covering his mouth to hide his grin. Johnny was coughing to hide the laughter and Jimmy, having no fear, was flat out chuckling at the scene.

"Don't you yell at my mommy!" She screamed, glaring up at him with such anger and defiance that I almost laughed.

Matt was bent over, lightly rubbing his knee, but he never said anything. He looked down at the little girl with socked eyes.

"Madison Grace Sanders," Memphis scolded, taking her daughter by the arm. "You don't kick people. That's not nice and you apologize to your uncle Matt right now."

"But he was yelling at you." Madison defended.

"I don’t care, you never kick people. Now apologize." Memphis ordered, standing up to look pointedly at her daughter.

"But Mommy-" Madison whined.

"Madison." Memphis said her name in a stern voice and Madison sighed heavily, turning to look at Matt with a look of such irritation that I found it hard not to laugh.

That look was pure Brian.

"I'm sorry I kicked you." She drawled, not sounding sincere at all. And then before Matt could say anything, she was turning around to stomp back into the house, practically slamming the door.

And the attitude was all Memphis, I thought with a grin.

"I'll go inside," Corie murmured to me. "You should to talk to Brian."

I nodded and followed her gaze to where Brian was standing a few feet away from the siblings, who were now back to fighting, though they were talking a bit quieter than before.

After receiving a pat on the shoulder from Zacky, I made my way over to Brian and crossed my arms as I stood beside him.

"That was something, huh?" I murmured and he nodded with a chuckle.

"Yeah. I was definitely not expecting that."

I nodded.

"Have they been fighting for a long time?" He asked and I shrugged.

"I don't know. I just came out." I sighed. "Are you okay?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was already messy, standing up in every direction, and I knew it was because he had been dragging his hands through the black strands in his frustration.

"I don’t know. I was pissed off because she hadn't told me, but now that I know…"

"Now that you know what?" I prodded quietly, turning to face him, unable to look at Matt right now.

Brian sighed heavily and shoved his hands in his pockets. Looking down at the ground for a few moments.

"Brian?" I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked up at me, finally. "Now that you know what?"

He sighed and gave me a small smile. "She's mine, isn't she?"

I didn’t know what to say, and so I just smiled and asked, "You think she is?"

"She looks like me." He said with a shrug. "She has Memphis' eyes and hair, but she has my face. My nose."

"She has your smirk, and your facial expressions." I added quietly, not sure if I was helping or harming in my statement.

He smiled in agreement and tipped his head backward with a sigh before looking at me with I can only describe as hope in his eyes.

"She could really be my daughter, Lynds."

I smiled, but I felt uneasy as I glanced to see that the siblings were no longer fighting. They were talking quietly and had apparently resolved the issue and were holding hands and Matt smiled down at his sister.

"What will you do if she is yours, Bri?" I asked quietly.

He shrugged. "Be a dad…the best dad that I can be. After giving Memphis shit for never letting me be a part of her life. But then we'll work things out."

I nodded and bit my lip, looking out at the water as it shone brightly in the sunlight.

"What are you thinking?" He sighed.

"Just…take it easy on her, okay, Bri?" I suggested quietly. "Memphis has her own reasons for not telling you, no doubt and…well, after what's gone down over the past week I really don’t think she needs to be yelled at, know what I mean? She needs you more than ever right now…she needs your support and she needs to know that you're there now, no matter what's happened."

He nodded and glanced in her direction before looking back at me.

"Should I talk to her first, or wait for her to talk to me?"

I rolled my eyes. "You talk to her."

"Yeah, that would be better, right?" He sighed.

I didn’t bother answering and kept my eyes on the water, engrossed in my own thoughts.

"Hey." Brian touched my shoulder softly. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

I brought my face to his and forced a smile. "Nothing."

He didn’t look like he believed me and pulled me into a hug.

"Don't worry about Matt," He whispered to me. "He didn’t mean to be an ass about this. Just let him talk to you, okay?"

I nodded and he kissed my cheek before setting off to grab Memphis and drag her to their cabin that they had been sharing.

I watched with a small smile before I turned and sunk slowly to the ground, tucking my legs beneath me and curling my arms around my stomach as I gazed upon the sunset.