Memories Won't Let Me Cry

Something that you always cherish in life and will never forget are the times you spend with the ones you love the most. The times I have had in my life will never be forgotten or un-cherished because of how I feel about my friends and family. I love them to the bottom of my core. Which is why it was hard for me to let them find out about my deepest darkest secrets the way they had. Even though they where all getting to like Madison, I knew they where still somewhat pissed at me for keeping her hidden.

After Matt had calmed we finally got the chance to talk about alot of things and alot of simalarties we had found between the two of us. The fact they we both had children now was one and the biggest one was the fact that we felt awful for keeping them hidden. Children are one of gods greatest blesssings and we shouldn't keep them hidden out of fear of what others might think. Too bad we didn't know then what we know now right?

As night snuck in, I sat on the dock thinking as I listened to the quiet that surrounded me. No noise from the night life of Orange County going on....just the sounds of nature and it relaxed me more than anything. Every once in a while I would hear a giggle from my daughter as she played Go Fish with everyone in the house. Everyone but Brian that is. He had been hidden away in his cabin all evening and I dont much blame him! He felt betrayed by me and I didn't know what to do or say to fix it. If i where him I wouldn't know how to forgive me either.

I sighed as I leaned my weight back on my hands and looked over the lake as the sun was about to set. I loved sun sets...always had. It was my thing when I was pissed, worried, scared, or sad back home. I would go to the beach and sit and watch the sun set just to find beauty in all the negativity. I never noticed that someone had sat down beside me until I heard him sigh.

I turned my head to see Brian looking at the sky. His face held a thoughtful expression and I smiled slightly before looking at the water again. I didn't want to try and say anything though I know I could, I just wanted to savor the moments of silance between the two of us. The fear of what he wanted to say was building but there was nothing I could really do about that. Brian was the type of person who knew what he wanted so...whatever he wanted to say was totally from the heart and I would accept it!

"Do you remember my senior prom?" he finally asked breaking the silance.

"Vividly yes" I replied as I continued looking at the water.

"Do you remember when we snuck away from Rakum's after prom party and hide out in
Zack's little brothers tree house?" he asked causing me to smile.

"How could I forget? Thats the night you gave me Nana Haner's peral necklace" I replied as I looked at him, to see him looking at me.

"Thats also the night I bared my soul to you Mems. I told you everything I felt for you and everything I wanted for our future because I trusted you to never break my heart." he replied.

"Brian I never intended to break your heart." I replied lowly.

"Doesn't mean you didn't!" he shot out looking away.

"Brian that's not fair! I know I made some wrong desions in my life about us but you too aren't as innocent as you try and let on. Your forgetting you broke my heart way before I had the opertunity to break yours" I defended.

"But how could you hide the fact that you had a child from me?" he asked as he turned his gaze toward me again.

"I...dont know" I replied lowly looking down.

"I'm not buying that...Memphis there has to be a reason why! There just has to be an explanation to it because you would never go through something like that alone." he replied.

"Brian...I just....I didn't want to ruin your life!" I replied.

"How would you ruin my life?" he asked as if he didn't already know what the anwser to that was.

"C'mon Brian...I know your not blind" I replied looking in his eyes.

"What are you getting at?" he asked as he turned facing me.

"Brian....Madison is yours. You cant tell me you dont see it" I replied lowly as I looked in his eyes.

"How?" he asked, his emotion not chainging.

"What?" I asked.

"How can she be mine when we used prtection?"

"Brian....my graduation party? The night we where both pretty well smashed?" I reminded him.

He sat there looking at me blankly before he closed his eyes tightly.

"Shit" he breathed out.

"Most deffenatly" I replied as I looked back at the water.

"But you didn't leave for anouther month after that!" he replied.

"I never knew I was pregnant Brian" I retorded.

He grew quiet after this, as if he was thinking of something to say. I sighed as he looked down, scratching his head before let out a loud breath. He was nervous and I could tell.

"Memphis....why didn't you just tell me? You could've sent me a letter or called me! You could've done something to let me know I had a daughter out there!" he replied, raising his voice some.

"Brian your neglecting to remember you went to M.I.T after high school and was touring with Avenged...even if I tried it wouldn't have did any good because you would've never found out anyways!" I replied in the same tone he had used with me.

"I would've made an attempt to contact you because of my kid!" he replied in his tone again.

"Sure" I replied as I stood, having enough of his tone.

I turned and made my way up the dock, wanting nothing more than to get away from Brian and his smartass remarks. But when I heard his footsteps catching up to mine I knew that wasn't gonna happen. I groaned as he turned me to face him.

"What Brian?" I asked, annoyed.

"Why do you always make thing diffacult?" he shot out.

"Fuck you Haner! If I make your life so complicated why dont you just find someone who makes it less complicated!" I defended as I turned to leave but was grabbed by Brian again.

"I dont want anyone else! I want you but I cant seem to get past your bullshit Memphis!" he shouted.

"Stop fuckin screaming at me!" I shouted as I pushed him.

He grabbed my arms and looked me dead in the eye before crashing his lips onto mine. This kiss was filled with passion, anger and lust for one anouther that had built up over our reunion. I wanted nothing more than to kick his ass but I found myself giving in to his touch and kiss, melting into him as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him. My arms wrapping around his neck as our tounges carressed each other, trying to sooth away every harmful thing we both had said.

"Hold that pose!" Lyndsey screamed causing us both to chuckle as a flash went off.

Leave it to Lyndsey to come in at the perfect moment and capture something that would stick in our memories for years.