Something Better

Our eyes locked as I tried my hardest to turn my stare into a glare. Those familiar eyes… I missed them so much.

No, I can’t accept him back. I really can’t afford it. He’ll just end up crushing my heart again, and I really don’t think I can take more heartbreak. My poor heart has been through enough stress already. I probably will literally break down into tiny pathetic pieces if I get hurt again. This child in me probably has something to do with that…

For a while, Joe just kept staring at me. Neither of us said anything, enjoying the silence. Unfortunately, silence won’t make conversation now, will it? “Is there something you wanted?” I asked Joe impatiently.

Don’t even go there! He’s the one who broke my peace and quiet in the first place! I was actually quite happy while I was I my own little world until he had to just come along and ruin everything…

Joe’s eyes narrowed, never leaving mine. It wasn’t in a mean or angry way, though, but almost as if he was wincing to prepare himself for what came next. “I needed to talk to you again.” He stated simply, his words obviously not agreeing with his facial expression.

No shit Sherlock, I’m kind of carrying your child. So we obviously need to talk.

“I’m listening.” I said. If anything, I’m not the one who screwed up. So I don’t think I need to say anything.

He took my right hand in both of his hands, his eyes still locked on mine. I hated the fact that when he did this, it sent a lightening bolt throughout my whole body.

“Alyssa, you know that I never, ever meant to hurt you. You know that, so I don’t know why you even accused me of cheating on you when in reality; it is the complete opposite of what you thought. Baby I-“ I cut Joe off.

“Do NOT call me baby, Joe. We are no longer together, so I think it’s best if you just stop calling me baby.” I looked Joe sternly in the eyes.

What? I really do.

Joe looked… really hurt actually. He automatically flinched his hands away from mine and backed away from me the slightest bit. It was like I just slapped him across the face. I guess I did… mentally… since he obviously wasn’t prepared for me to say that.

Joe then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. After letting it out, he opened his eyes again. “Alyssa, do you really believe that I would ever intentionally hurt you?”

Is he seriously asking me this?

“Obviously. I think we’ve already established that one Joe.” I said, rolling my eyes.

Again, he had that look in his eyes that was just full of complete and utter hurt. Maybe there was even something else, something that I had obviously stabbed, and it was throbbing inside of him. I got him in his weak spot… and I stabbed him hard.

What is wrong with this dude?! Why can’t h just get with the other girl he cheated on me with and move on in life?! Doesn’t he understand he’s practically killing me here?!

“Alyssa, that wasn’t intentionally…” He seriously looked like he was pleading now. This was pissing me off.

My body raged with anger as I got up in his face. “You mean to tell me that you never intentionally cheated on me? You though it was never intentional that you hurt me? Why the hell would you think that?! You never even though-“ This time, Joe cut me off. While in the process, he stood up so he was towering over me. He looked pissed…

“I never cheated on you! Why won’t you just believe me?!” He yelled in my face.

Oh yeah? Well two can play at that game. I stood up just as well, even though he still towered over me. That didn’t matter to me, though. The fact that I was pregnant was a great advantage.

“How could I NOT think you were cheating on me?! Al the signs lead to the only reasonable answer!” I yelled right back at him.

“Well if you just trusted me, you would see that it wasn’t the only answer!” He got closer to me.

“I did trust you! But then you went ad blew my trust away when you decided to cheat!” All this yelling was seriously starting to hurt my stomach.

If it was even possible, Joe got even closer to me. His hot breath hitting me harder than the wind around us.

“For the last fucking time, I did not cheat on you!”

“Then what exactly were you doing when you spent all that time away, or on the phone, or ignoring me, or… Whatever the hell it was that you were doing?!” Okay, my stomach is seriously exploding over here. It’s really starting to hurt…

“I can’t tell you!”

“See?! This is exactly the-“ I suddenly stopped mid-sentence and gripped my balloon-of-a-stomach with both of my hands.

Joe’s voice softened automatically as he put his hands on my stomach, also. “Alyssa, are you alright? What’s happening?”

Oh, now he’s being all loving and nice right after fighting… is this dude bipolar or something?

All of a sudden, this nerve-wracking pain shot through my entire stomach. It felt like a bunch of cavemen were trying to do surgery on my stomach.

Wow… nice description Alyssa…

I let out this bloodcurdling scream as the pain only got worse. Joe didn’t even flinch the slightest bit at my sudden outburst. He only wrapped his arms around me and slowly sat me back down on the bench.

“Alyssa?! Oh my goodness… are you okay? What’s happening? Are you in pain?” The stupid dick-head next to me asked.

As I started breathing through my teeth because of the pain, I glared at Joe. “Of course I’m in pain you dip shit! Why else would I be screaming and holding my stomach?!”

Just then, it felt like even more knives were stabbing through me. The pain was getting worse… I let out another scream as I threw my head back in pain.

I don’t know what happened next, although I do think that Joe picked me up. It was hard to feel the movement since I was in so much pain and my eyes were closed. I could slowly feel the world around me start to disappear…

“Joe…” I whispered slowly. I don’t know what was becoming of me but… I didn’t want to leave Joe. As much as I still hated him for cheating on me, and that fight… I still loved the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. I wanted to see his beautiful honey-chocolate brown eyes again. I… I didn’t want to loose him again…

“Shh… baby it’s alright. We’re almost there, don’t worry.” He told me, ignoring my plea before about how I didn’t want him calling me baby anymore. Although, at this time, it felt kind of nice… I could still feel his arms around me, but there was also movement of a car. Where was he taking me?

More pain writhed through me as I tried to stay there. My body wanted so bad to just black out, but I would do whatever it took to keep Joe right by my side.

“Joe I- I… can’t…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. The blackness was overtaking me.

“No, no Alyssa! Stay with me! I’m right here, don’t go anywhere!” I slightly felt him grab my face in his hands, his hot breath on my face. Why couldn’t I just fight this stupid thing?

As Jo realized I wasn’t going to respond, he started frantically talking to me more. I could barely hear him, though. It was as if he was speaking to me through a thin wall. You know what I’m talking about, right? When you’re in one of those cheap-ass apartments and the walls are so thin that you can here the people on the other side of the wall when they talk, but it comes out as muffled sounds?

Yeah, that’s how I hear Joe now.

Joe kept fading farther and farther away. I couldn’t hold on to him anymore. I couldn’t hold on to my life, my child’s life…

Within seconds the pain and blackness had overtaken me.