Family Values

~Ivy POV~

It's funny how you can feel even more shittier as time progresses. Here I was making good money as a magazine editior in New York, living in a nice ass apartment, driving a brand new car that I paid for up front...and my family was struggling back home. Yes Corie was right...I didn't call or make an attempt to write...but that was because I couldn't handle the memories that haunted me.

Memories that I tried so hard to erase because of the history behind them! For so long I held onto him...for so long I couldn't move on! Then when I did...I felt guilty! But why? With Joel I thought I had a good life...but in the end it was based on forgetting him!

As we walked next door silence feel apon us. I found it cute that Zacky and Corie were still together but they didn't seem as loving as they used to be. I guess with time everything changes! I for one should know! As you get older, you find it hard to hold onto the things that at one time were irreplaceable to you! But for most people...it's hard to let go! Zacky and Corie were 2 of those people! They had a history together that no man or woman could come between!

"I can't believe he still lives in his mom's house!" I replied as we walked up on the front porch of Mrs. Kindel's house.

"Yeah well he's not the only one! Rev and his girlfriend live here too!" Zacky replied.

"Rev?" I questioned.

"It's their stupid nicknames for each other!" Corie replied as she just opened the door and walked in, Zacky following suit.

I smiled a bit and followed, closing the door quietly behind me. The house still looked like it had when I was 16 years old...coming inside it for the first time! The carpet still a odd color of teal that Mrs. Kindel loved. The walls painted white until you looked into the kitchen where it had fruit wallpaper. The steps however were wooden and lead up to the top part of the house. I hadn't been up there in ages! This house held so many memories...good and bad! But none that any of us would let go of!

The pictures on the wall were what caught my attention. Old pictures of us growing up, old pictures of the boys before everyone started going off doing there own thing! But what stood out to me more was a picture of a beautiful black haired girl holding onto a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. She had such an innocent face and held a smile that would melt the heart of any boy.

"Who the hell are you?" came a male voice from the top of the steps.

I jumpped turning to face the voice, in the process stumbbling over something laying on the floor, loosing my footing and falling backwards onto the carpet. I groaned and looked over to see a huge ass pit bull laying on the floor looking toward me like I was stupid. My eyes grew wide out of fear...I hated dogs from a very bad experiance I had 2 years before I left. I thought every dog was gonna attack me! Making it hard for me to become a dog lover or even worse...have a dog in the same room with me!

"Murder what have I told you about laying infront of the god damn door! Your too fuckin big and people obviosuly don't look where they are walking!" the male said again as he desended the steps. He held out his hand to me, which was attached to his tattooed arm. I cautiosly took his hand and let him pull me to my feet.

"Sorry about that...that damn dog don't listen unless you've got a bone or something for him!" he replied again through a chuckle.

"It's fine as long as he don't bite!" I replied as I tucked some hair behind my ears.

"Wait a damn second.....Ivy?"

I looked up into the face of non other than Jimmy Sulivan, the 2nd to oldest adoptive son of Mrs. Kindel. God I had forgotten how tall this fucker was! But in all these years...he had added on more tattoo's and looked like a fuckin skelton!

"Jimmy?" I asked with a slight smile.

"Well hells bells!" he replied and wrapped his arms around me, which I happily returned. He picked me up and swirled around with me a bit, both of us laughing like idiots.

"Ok Jimmy put me down!" I chuckled out.

"But your so damn light Ivy! Do you even eat?" he replied as he sat me back down.

"Of course she eats! You know she can afford it...look at the nice cloths she's wearing!"

I turned looking in the direction that my little sisters voice came from. The expression on her face told me everything. But what was worse, was the fact that behind those eyes hidden was confussion and hurt. I thought I had explained everything to her in that note I left before I left. Obviously it didn't explain it good enough!

"What's all the fuckin fuss about?"

I looked back at the steps to see a not so little Johnny Seward walking down them. Just like Jimmy and Zacky...he was covered in tattoo's . I mean what was it with these guys? What was the fuckin deal with the tattoos?

"Take a look genious!" Jimmy replied pointing in my direction.

Johnny looked over at me and his mouth gaped open. Just as Jimmy had he walked over and wrapped his arms around me in a bone crushing hug. I tried returning the gesture but I couldn't breath.

"Johnny...please....your cutting off my air supply!" I choked out receiving chuckles from everyone and causing him to pull back still looking me up and down.

"Damn Ivy...what the hell did you do? Hit the loto?" he asked.

"Uh...no I actully put those classes I took on Journalism to good use! I'm the editor at Spin Magazine!" I informed him, recieving shocked expressons from everyone.

"So....you mean to tell me that for the past 3 years you've been hitting it big over there in New York and you couldn't have at least sent money over here to help take care of your own god damn mother?" Corie asked, anger seeping through every word that escaped her lips!

"Corie it's not like that!" I tried to explain as I turned facing her.

"Well then tell me what it's like Ivy! Explain to me why you left...why you didn't even have the guts to tell everyone to their faces!" she asked, breaking free from Zacky's grasp stepping toward me.

"It's too complacated!" I responded.

"It couldn't be! I mean...you have the nerve to come here after all these years of me suffering! Me taking care of mom, catering to her every god damn need! Me struggling to pay her doctor's bills...working my ass off...forgetting my dreams...all because you ran like the fuckin coward you are!" she replied, tears now running down her cheeks.

I stepped back, looking down at the floor. Corie was right...I was selfish for not seeing how me leaving would affect everyone else...I just saw my life and no one elses!

"What gives you any right to even be here Ivy?" she asked again.

"She was my mother!" I replied as I looked back up at her.

"Oh was she? It's funny god damn thing that you never acted like it after you left!" she responded. Zacky walked up behind her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, I guess in an attempt to try and calm down his girlfriend.

"Then why did you even bother calling?" I asked.

"To inform you that she was no longer breathing! But I thought you would stay over there!" she replied.

"Well I'll do you a fuckin favor and leave once I go over to the funeral home and give my respects!" I shouted as I turned pushing past Jimmy and Johnny.

"GOOD!" she cried out as I slammed the door behind me.

I quickly ran down the front steps of Mrs. Kindel's house and back over to the garage. How could Corie have turned so cold in these past years? I guess taking care of someone and having to set your life aside can really do some damage! Her words cut deep and you could see by the tears that fell freely down my cheeks. All I cared about was getting the hell away from here before anyone else could have a chance to put there 2 cents in on how I was now living my life.