Lost Memories

Lost Memories Chapter II

The tension floating in the air dissipated as the minutes passed on. L nodded, nibbling on his thumb. “What caused my heart to stop?”

“We’re… not sure,” bluntly the older man said, shaking his head.

“Is there not a diagnosis the doctors have: a speculation?” Father and son shook their heads. The dark-haired man cocked his head to one side, pawing at his thoughts. “Tell me, Mr. Yagami, Light, -- have I ever been charged with a criminal act?”

The men under L’s questioning looked to one another. Both were surprised but—Light’s skin crawled as his discomfort grew once again. “A criminal act?” Light Yagami paused, eyes widening. “No—I believe you have not. Why?”

Shrugging nonchalantly, L replied, “Kira might have tried to kill me—after all he kills criminals—and if I had been one… there would be an answer to my question.” The upper corner of Light’s mouth twitched and his heart began to race. But how…?

“You see—I have media access, and this interests me,” he motioned to a large pile of newspapers and the television they lay strewn on. Light glimpsed at the television set; a laughing man in a formal suit gestured to an audience—signs were waved from the audience. They read, ‘Hail Kira’, ‘Justice’ and other sayings supporting their cause—Kira. “I’ve read everything the newspaper has to offer, and all that I really get out of it is the recent news of ‘The God of the New World, Kira’.

“Kira murders criminals—those who have done evil deeds. If I was—am—a criminal... I hope that this is some sort of ‘second chance’. If I committed a crime—I wish to redeem myself.” L held up a newspaper inches away from his body, his fingers spread apart; it was as though the newspaper were toxic.

Light’s mind reeled as he tried to process what had just come out of L’s mouth. If he behaved, Kira would forgive him—was that what L believed? Did he expect to get off by behaving? Was L acknowledging Kira as God? This new L, Light decided, was far opposite the old L.

“Ryuuzaki—Kira is a criminal,” Soichirou exclaimed, “He’s no God. He is nothing but a cold-blooded mass murder that needs to be captured.”

“I assume you are one of the few who oppose Kira?” L asked, gazing at the man.

“Of course!” Soichirou took step toward the dark-haired man, “You, too, oppose him—we should all oppose him. The world doesn’t need someone like Kira living—no one should be able to live peacefully until he is caught!”

“I don’t believe I stated whether I support Kira or not—and I won’t; I don’t know what to believe.” L turned the pages of the flimsy newspaper. “All I’m doing is searching for my identity. I brought up Kira because of my hypothesis—I had thought he might have been the one who tried to take my life.

“This article states that Kira’s victims die from heart failure—presumably after Kira’s judgment. Now, if I were correct—there would have been no reason for Kira to kill me, that is, if I was not some sort of criminal.

“Could it be that I opposed Kira? He would have surely have those who openly oppose him to die.” L’s dark eyes set upon Light and Soichirou and he sent them an inquiring look. “Is that it? Did I do something to upset Kira?”

Soichirou slowly brought his arms to his chest, crossing them as he swallowed uncomfortably. Taking a cue, Light spoke. “It is true; you opposed Kira. He went after you—but obviously, his attack failed. He must have made a mistake—that’s why you’re alive.”

“Has anyone else ever survived a Kira attack?” L looked to the ceiling and stroked his chin.

“No one has survived—as far as we know.”

“Why did I survive?”

That makes two of us: why did you survive?
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Pounding a fist against the thick oak door of Misa’s apartment, Light began to lose his patience. Moments later, the door swung open—a girl with a very voluptuous body held the door opening, leaning toward Light; her nightgown did wonders as they exposed her large breasts-- a pink frilly robe hung from her arms.

She greeted him with a hug as she exclaimed in delight “Oh, Light. I have missed you—it is so late. Why have you come on such a short notice--? OH! What a naughty boy, you want to do the naught—”.

“Misa, we have to talk.” Light pushed her off harshly and she tripped backwards, looking concerned.

Latching herself to his arm, she asked. “What’s going on, Light?”

“Ehh—Did I hear Light come in?” Floating out from the corridor, Ryuk munched on a juicy, red apple. “It is you! Now I can get some good entertainment; this girl has been boring me for ages!”

“Ryuk-sama!” Misa snapped at him, “Light had a bad day. What happened? Tell Misa all about it.” She led him to the large, red plush couch, pushing him to sit as she removed his jacket and began massaging his shoulders.

“Ryuk,” Light began, his eyes narrowing as he gazed up at the large-mouthed Shinigami, “Is it possible for someone to survive death once their name has been written in the notebook?”

“What? You should know the answer to that already, Light!” Ryuk shook his head and crossed his arms, laughing maniacally. “Once someone’s name is written in the Note, it’s done! He is dead—end of story!”

“Has anyone ever come back to life?” Light questioned, leaning back.

Ryuk cocked his head to the side. “No one can come back from the dead. Once your name is written in the Death Note, you can kiss your life goodbye.”

“Why are you asking such questions, Light?” Misa mumbled as she nuzzled against his neck.

Light leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands clutching his face. “L is alive.”

“What?” Misa and Ryuk backed away from Light, shock and disbelief running through their minds.

“He’s alive, I said,” Light spat, venomously as he grit his teeth. “Good thing he has amnesia; he can’t remember anything. Imagine—we could have been thrown in jail by now—”

Light sat up and gazed at Misa. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Oh, Light! Right now…?” Batting her eyes, Misa blushed and brought a nimble finger to her lip.

Ignoring the woman’s desires and misunderstanding, he crossed his arms. “Have you remembered his name—?” She shook her head, devastated, arms falling between her legs, limp. “As of tomorrow, L—Ryuuzaki will be living with me. I need you to stop by, and I will introduce you to him. This time, be sure to remember his name—you’ll be staying for dinner…”

Grinning like mad, Misa jumped from the sofa and hugged Light. “He shall commit suicide because he is frustrated with himself and his inability to remember who he is.”

Misa nodded exuberantly. “I’ll do anything you ask, Light. L—I mean, Ryuuzaki— will be dead by Friday!”

He smiled and kissed her, rewarding her with passion. “Good girl, Misa.”

She snuggled up to him, a large smile plastered on her face. Ryuk, then, chuckled heartily. “What so funny, Ryuk? Care to inform us?”

The Shinigami shook his head as he continued with his tirade of noise. “It’s just—humans are so interesting.” He disappeared into the kitchen where he presumably retrieved another red apple.
_______________________________________________________________________

Maura Uramura’s private life was sad, as it was boring— she was divorced, had been for three years, her only child had decided to live with his father in Hokkaido and she did absolutely nothing on her free time. Anything she did had to do with her patients; she was not very social unless conversed with her fellow coworkers or the hospital’s patients.

At home, the woman felt alone and awkward, and did nothing but watch television or eat. Now, as she zoned out, thoughts of Ryuuzaki made her home feel welcome and alive, warm and she did not feel so alone.

He had only been a patient for no less than two days, and by no means was he someone that needed protecting, but the man sat on his chair, hunched over, she had an urge of reprimanding him. The motherly instincts she had rarely used and pushed away bubbled within her, wanting to burst at the sight of Ryuuzaki; he looked no older than her boy, Shou. Ryuuzaki’s age was still unknown to her but, if she had to guess, she would say he was in his late teens or mid-twenties.

No matter how much her body nagged her to pull the blankets over her face—she could not sleep. Ryuuzaki-kun could have troubles sleeping and with all the trouble, he would remember something for his past; how could she sleep when that was a possibility?

Rubbing her temples, to relieve her pounding head from stress, she only managed to blur her vision. Maura tried convincing herself of two things; she had to get sleep, and no matter what—she was not Ryuuzaki’s mother.

Glancing at the wall clock, she groaned, rolling over. Sleep would not come easily to her that evening or any evening for a long time.
_______________________________________________________________________

As the sun peeked out from behind his curtains, his alarm blared but Light decided to lie still, staring at the ceiling. It was very unlike him—he was the early riser in the family, beating the alarm to morning. His body felt heavy—numb— and his mind was fuzzy, shaking of sleep. He rolled over and sat up.

So, L was back, yet, it was not really him anymore. With his memories gone, the man’s only identity was Ryuuzaki. He was no longer L; that man was dead. Light pulled lazily at his hair, thinking… what if he started to remember? He had to keep L from recovering his knowledge of Kira, at all costs. Light was free as long as L fought his amnesia.

Heading downstairs, he hurried along, catching view of his mother. “Good morning, Light,” his mother greeted him as he entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, Mom.” Tenderly, Light kissed his mother on the cheek as he sat down at the table.

He had no classes scheduled and the sooner he ate, the sooner he would be able to see L.

Picking up the morning paper, he skimmed the headlines as his mother brought him a bowl of rice and eggs. “Any classes today?” his mother asked and Light tended to responding with a ‘no’.

“Your friend…” she began, rubbing her hands. “...your father told me about him—Ryuuzaki was it?”

She paused, handling the sink faucet. Running her hands through the steaming water, she sighed. “How dreadful… I cannot imagine having to go through that. He must—he must be upset. Light, promise me you’ll help him as much as you can, okay?”

Smiling, Light nodded. “Did dad explain the living arrangements—?”

She answered, nodding vigorously. “We discussed it. We do not have a guest room and I really don’t want him to feel uncomfortable on the couch—”

“I can move the futon into my room. Then, I’ll be able to keep a closer eye on him,” he suggested. He knew his mother would agree and then, L would be all his to corrupt.

Delightfully, Sachiko smiled, cupping her cheek. Then, rambling, he said, “What a great idea. I will make sure to get him some blankets and anything else he might need. Oh, I could search for some tips on amnesia on the computer…”

Light chuckled, standing and walking toward the door. “Mom, you don’t know how to turn on the computer, let alone use a search engine. You leave that to me, alright?”
_______________________________________________________________________

He dreamt of nothing, no dreams or nightmares, slept deeply, for hours on end, rested after memorization tests, was fed oatmeal and other tasteless runny foods by the nurses, and it was all humiliating. No one really did all these things and he felt belittled every time someone would ask how he was feeling. It surprised him how he could not even hold a spoon, experimenting the feel of the cold metal surface between his fingers.

That morning, after discovering sleep did not affect his amnesia, he watched television lazily, waiting for Dr. Uramura to visit him.

When she did enter the room, she did so smiling. “Good morning, Ryuuzaki-kun.” Ryuuzaki smiled politely, greeting her.

Flipping through the clipboard by his bed, she spotted him peeking, and swatted him jokingly. “Today, you are scheduled for an MRI. I’ll see if they are ready for you, alright?”

Slowly, she turned to the door and left Ryuuzaki to his moving pictures and his questions; a pretty girl with sparkly-blonde hair with a high-pitched voice was advertising cookware. Honestly, he had no idea what an MRI was and what one was used for.

Dr. Uramura came back within minutes, pushing a wheelchair; she insisted he sit. He was not physically disabled, so he declined and walked alongside her, embarrassed. Ryuuzaki noticed his doctor was concerned with his hunch; maybe that was why they always brought along a wheelchair.

“We should check you for scoliosis. That may be the problem—”

“What’s that?” he inquired, hunched against a metal wall in the large elevator.

She set her sight in his direction. “It’s when your spine curves in an ‘S’-like shape and if the curve becomes too severe, you may need a brace to hold your body in place or surgery—not that you have it, but if you did. It’s common amongst children and young adults…”

Straightening himself, Ryuuzaki stood tall, adding two inches to his build. Hastily, he ran his hand along his back. “It doesn’t feel like it’s curved.”

It did not shock her, she had a feeling he hunched over purposely. “You shouldn’t stand like that; it is bad for your posture. At times, if you don’t take care of how you stand or sit, your spine aligns itself to however you hunch your back, leaving it hunched permanently.”

Ryuuzaki placed a finger upon his lips. “Is that so?”

The elevator doors opened and Uramura led him toward the CT scan room. Glancing over at the man, she noticed Ryuuzaki walked alongside her, hunched over.

As they walked, Ryuuzaki felt a tinge of angrer flow through him; He knew she was great at what she did, but she never explained a thing until it was too late. It bothered him; the first time he was sent out for X-rays, Dr. Uramura had waited until he lying on the cool, metal surface, a machine pointed to his chest. He would only admit that he was scared if he was asked to do so, especially since the doctors exhibiting the X-ray wore heavy vinyl vests, as to protect themselves. And from what? It had been very scary, like they were going to experiment on him; he could not help but feel paranoid; he did not now how most things worked since he didn’t remember anything.

He allowed himself to be led into a room with another strange machine; it was the shape of a large, metallic cylinder on a stand of some sort. With a switch of a button, he noticed a table slowly emerge from out of the center of the machine.

“All you have to do is lie down on this machine; head here, legs there,” Dr. Uramura instructed.

He obeyed, climbing onto the table. The table felt like the one from the X-ray room; cold enough to suck all the warmth from him—the gown he wore did nothing to help with the cold. As he placed his head on the small pillow left for him, anxiety filled him and his stomach churned uneasily. He was alone and feared for what was to come. Why did she leave? Where did she go? He thought frantically…

Her voice then filled the room, bouncing against the white walls, hitting his ears numbly. “I need you to stay still.”

Gazing to his side, he spotted a large, dark, glass-like window; he wondered if that was where she had gone too. He hoped he was right; he could not bear to think she had left him alone. Obeying his doctor, he lay still, fighting to urge to move his legs.

As he began to relax, his muscles growing heavy, the machine gave a loud screeching yell; a sound of grinding metals soothed by a decibel, gawking with irritation. Ryuuzaki jumped slightly as the table vibrated and he entered the cylinder’s belly. Assortments of red and yellow lights flashed down upon him, blinding him. He closed his eyes.

The sounds continued to echo in his ears and he soon become sensitive to it, his skin crawling. His hart rate quickened and he made as to run away from the room as soon as he could. But, now he had to calm down and he did so by breathing in deeply, inhaling through the nose. Every breath he took brought him a step closer to hyperventilating. Slowly, the lights blinding him dimmed and he dared open his eyes.

The machine buzzed… Spine-tingling sensations surged through him, beads of sweat developed underneath his shaggy hair and upper lip and he felt as thought he had to move. His body trembled under the pressure as he tried to stay still; he felt as though he was being stabbed with tiny needles.

Then, he heard a click coming from somewhere, anywhere. He snapped, jumping off the metal table. He sprinted out the door unfashionably, tripping over his own feet. He heard them call after him but he continued to the elevator.

Someone was chasing him down the hallway and he sped up, reaching the tall, silvery door. Without stopping, he jumped on his feet, anxious for the door to slid open. They did, and he threw himself in, frantically pushing buttons. The door closed as Dr. Uramura’s face came into view.

Now, Ryuuzaki thought, if you are willing to leave me alone, leave me alone now. Please…
_______________________________________________________________________

To become L’s friend would be a cinch. Light left his home feeling fidgety and impatient. He would not wait for his father any longer; he had to go to the hospital and bring L home.

Before reaching the hospital, he spotted a Western-style bakery and bought a strawberry cheesecake. It would surely please L.

Upon entering the hospital, he signed and requested on seeing L.

“Yagami-kun?” A woman called out to him. She peered at him from behind black-rimmed glasses. It was Dr. Uramura.

Light recognized her immediately and smiled politely. “I was just on my way to visit Ryuuzaki.” As to emphasize, he held up the white box containing the dessert.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she began, removing her spectacles. “I was going to call—you see, this morning, Ryuuzaki had an issue with his MRI scan. It seems that he has some anxiety issues, it is common in patients with amnesia, and they are in need to fixing. Please, try to see what is wrong…. He didn’t want to talk to me….”

Puzzled by the development, he nodded slowly, thinking it over. “Alright, no problem. Thank you.”

Dr. Uramura directed him to Ryuuzaki’s room; the door was closed and Light wondered if he should knock. He decided to peek inside and he stuck his head inside. He called out…

A reply then came, granting him entrance. Light shut the door behind him.

L stood at the room’s window, looking out. He turned to face Light. “Light Yagami, correct?”

Light nodded. “Yes. How are you doing?”

“Still can’t remember a thing,” he answered as he sat down, slumping over, clutching the wooden chair’s metal legs. Light sat on the edge of the bed as L’s shoulders perked up. Having smelt the dessert, he looked up at him curiously. “What do you have there? It smells very delicious.”

“It’s strawberry cheesecake. You’ll like it,” He stated as removed the cheesecake from its box. The cake was cut into pieces and he handed one piece to L.

L scraped one of the decorative icing flowers with his finger and then experimentally licked it. Light watched him closely to see his reaction.

Soon after, L’s eyes lit up; the dessert was the best thing he had ever tasted. It made his mouth water and the taste danced on his tongue. He picked up a fork from inside the box and stabbed a piece off. He put it in his mouth, and thought, Oh, delectable!

He jabbed his fork into the strawberry sauce and licked it off. Scrumptious! He consumed more and more of the delicious pastry until he heard Light chuckling.

He looked up and his cheeks flushed; he had embarrassed him for eating like a pig when he knew he should not have.

Ryuuzaki put down his fork. The heat continued to rise to his cheeks, mumbling ‘sorry’.

Light smiled and shook his head. “You have a little something here.” He scratched the side of his mouth to show where the icing was.

L wiped his mouth with his sleeve, childishly. “Did I get it?” he asked.

Light was honestly amused, chuckling at the man; L’s cheek was still smeared with the icing. “Not quite. Here.” He leaned over and wiped the mess off with his thumb, licking it afterwards.

L said ‘thank you’ and Light sat back down. He pierced a whole strawberry with a fork and held it up for Ryuuzaki. “Try this. Tell me if you like it.”

L leaned forward with his palms on the bed and bit the strawberry off the fork. He chewed on it slowly, and then swallowed. A cat-like smile spread over his lips. “It’s very good.”

Watching L finish off the cheesecake, Light realized he had bonded with him, created a friendship. From then on, nothing would stop them from becoming close. He would have L in the palms of his hands, eating from them.