In Times To Come

Even after regaining part of my memory about my father, I found myself surprisingly detached from it. You’d think after remembering something like that I’d be a little more shaken. It’s true that I didn’t exactly feel cheerful if the thought of him came up, but I think it was on account of what had happened in the room. I had been there the whole day doing who knows what. Every time I thought of that young girl, the other part of me that had recalled my father’s death all along, it seemed to hit me a little bit more.

That’s how I started thinking. Right now I was the Sara who didn’t know anything. Granted, I had gotten one out of 5 years of memories back, but somewhere inside of me was a Sara that remembered it all. A Sara that new what it was like growing up in this castle, playing with Benjamin, and looking up at that large chair to see my own father.

“He wasn’t supposed to be here,” said my brother as he sank into his seat at the head of the table. I hadn’t even noticed he’d joined us.

“I thought he might be up to no good,” commented Zarek.

“You did?” I asked, trying to get myself into the conversation. There was a pause as they both just looked at me.

“Stay away from him,” warned Benjamin. “If you ever see him hovering around these halls again you run the other way.” He waved his arm dramatically in the air and pointed in a random direction. “In fact if you see any elf-”

“You want me to cower in my own home?” I asked in an oddly cool manner. “You want me to spend my days under the covers shivering like a coward, is that it?”

“Of course not,” countered my brother after some thought. “We just want you to be safe.”

“Safe from what?” I almost jumped up from the table, but was able to contain myself. “I find it a little hard to fear something that I know nothing about. One minute you tell me to use my judgment and keep myself safe, but you never mention what I’m running from. I realize what Lord Travitt tried to do,” my mind began to recount the time in the desert with Bin, “but I have no idea as to why.”

“We’ll tell you who to stay away from and what to avoid, and you just follow. There is no need for you to have to worry about anything other than that.” Benjamin’s voice was commanding, but it did little to sway me.

“Why am I running?” I asked again.

“Sara, I told you-”

“From who?”

“Sara-”

“What do they want?”

“Just shut up!” rang his angry voice through the dining hall. The prince leaned his arms on the table his head down in his hands. “Just be quiet for a moment,” he said a little gentler.

I felt bad for pushing him to this point, but I didn’t regret it. One way or another I would find out, but for a moment, I thought it would be nice to hear it from someone I trusted; to have someone there when I learned everything, someone who would understand my feelings and maybe even comfort me when the time came. After all, if they thought these “IS” people were so scary they couldn’t even tell me about them, some of that fear was bound to hit me a little when I finally knew.

“Sara, don’t you think we’re not telling you for a reason?” asked Zarek. He had been silent up till now, so I was interested in hearing what he had to say. He looked me straight in the eyes, “We’re not ready to tell you. I know it sounds selfish, but just for a little longer would you give us the privilege of seeing you as you are now. Someone who isn’t afraid, who can laugh,” his voice trailed off.

Was the knowledge they shared so burdening that if they spoke one word of it to me it would crush me to a pulp? I had no idea, but what he said didn’t go unnoticed. I knew they cared for me, feared for me, but I didn’t know to what extent. This gave me a sort of window through which I could see just a tiny bit of the love they both held for me. It was warming and smothering all at the same time.

“For how much longer do you think I can play the naïve little girl?” I got up slowly from the table and turned my back to them. “Besides, I don’t think anything can break me to the point where I can’t smile anymore. Not as long as I have you two.”

I walked through the door without another word. Hopefully what I had said would convince them a little bit; show them that all I needed was a little support and I could walk across a sea of glass, but I wasn’t going to wait for that.

When I had walked back to my bedroom I reached for the door handle only to grab air. It was already open. I poked my head under the door frame and looked around to see only an empty room. When my eyes fell on a nightgown folded on the table I relaxed a bit.

“Erin probably forgot to shut it,” I thought. “Maybe something came up and she left without noticing.”

I walked into the room pulling the door closed behind me. The nightgown was different than I remembered, but, then again, this place was bound to have more than one.

It was folded somewhat awkwardly, like it had been done by someone who hadn’t quite learned the proper way of doing it, however I paid it no heed as I pulled the white fabric over my body. There was a wooden sort of tap against the floor as I worked it over my head. I couldn’t look because my head was still semi covered, but I soon forgot about it with the development of a sharp pain in my arm.

I stopped moving in order to get a better sense of what had just happened. I noticed that I felt no pain if I stood still, but that wouldn’t get me far, so I slowly removed my arm from the sleeve and poked my head through the top.

A shiny object twinkled from within my skin. It hadn’t gone deep, but it was deep enough that I felt every last millimeter as I pulled the needle from out of my arm.

I righted the nightgown and looked to the floor where a wheel of thread had landed. ‘She must have been fixing something.’ Searching the gown I could find no holes or tears, but I was never an avid seamstress and had probably overlooked it.

Without further ado, I launched myself onto the bed and wriggled under the covers. I was grateful for the sleep that took me away from my tiresome thoughts.

It felt like seconds later when there was a knocking at my door.

“My Lady,” sounded Erin’s voice through the dark wood. “Are you up?”

“Yeah,” I said from the bed groggily. “Come in.”

She opened the door just as I was setting my feet onto the stone floor. She carried with her a tray that she was about to set on the table.

“What is this?” she asked looking at where she should have been setting the food. “I hadn’t realized you sewed.”

“I don’t,” I said in response. “That’s not yours?”

“No,” she replied. “What is it doing here?”

“I thought you were trying to mend this nightgown.” She shook her head in response.

“That isn’t the one I brought for you last night,” she picked up the thread, “and the color doesn’t even match.” She placed the thread and needle in her pocket and set down the tray. “One of the other girls must have wanted you to wear this, but in the end were too shy to give it to you.”

That was a logical explanation. “I suppose so.”

Erin made her way to the bed and draped the dress she had slung over her shoulder onto the disheveled covers.

“If you should need me, My Lady, you know how to reach me.” She bowed at the door and exited.