Ruled by Secrecy

“Not even a hint as to why we are flying out to Washington?” Alex asked groggily as we walked through JFK to make a connecting flight.

We had just flown back from Italy where we spent the rest of our trip after Paris. I had asked him if he could spare a few days when we got back to go out to Washington. There was just something that I had to do. He of course obliged, but I left little time for us to catch up from the jet lag. Our flight landed and we had an hour layover before we boarded a flight into Michigan and then to Washington.

“I’m not even too sure what I’m doing, but trust me. I think I know what it is and It’ll be good,” I smiled at him trying to fight sleep off.

We boarded our flight to Michigan and Alex was asleep as soon as we sat down. I on the other hand could not sleep. I was anxious and nervous and excited all at the same time. At first I didn’t think Washington was significant, but now it was. If it was what I thought it was then I would be so happy and complete.

“We’ve landed,” I whispered as I ran my hand through his hair.

“You’re lucky I like flying,” He mumbled barely opening his eyes. “How are you so awake?”

“Second wind I guess.”

I pulled our carryon luggage from the overhead compartment and walked behind Alex in case he fell asleep while walking. He shuffled off the plane and we walked to our next terminal. Alex was a zombie. He plopped right down on a row of chairs and laid his head in my lap as we waited for our connecting flight.

I ran my hand through his hair and I just stared at my hand. I was engaged. The fact that I had a fiancé and everything that went along with that hadn’t really set in until now. Even after almost a week and a half later of being engaged was it setting in. I was loved. It’s all I had dreamed of when I was on the run and in hiding. It was all I wanted and I had it. I felt this whole new feeling in my heart now. There wasn’t this huge gaping hole, but now it was overflowing with love and emotion.

I leaned down and kissed Alex’s head and he didn’t move. He was out cold. I just laughed. He was so peaceful and beautiful when he was asleep. I must have done something right in life to have Alex. I was lucky and I never thought I would be after all I had been through.

We boarded our flight to Washington and Alex was more awake. I put up the seat divider between us and put my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

“Can you believe what a great job I did picking out your ring?” Alex asked as he lifted my left hand up.

“You have great taste all around. Beautiful ring and amazing girl, you’ve got it made!” I teased sarcastically.

“Fact,” He laughed lightly and held me tighter.

“I am a very lucky girl too. I am dating the hottest guy in a really cool band,” I nudged him a little.

“This is true and you’re cool with the groupies I bring home, which is a definite plus. It’s hard to find a girl who is okay with that nowadays,” He said wryly.

“I’m totally fine with that as long as you use protection and don’t give me an STD or STI, for that matter.”

“I’ll try my best,” He finally laughed. “Now you sleep for a bit,” He instructed and I obeyed.

+++

“That was a rough landing,” I groaned; it had jostled me out of a nice nap.

“At least you slept like a baby till now,” Alex smiled at me.

We waited to get off of the plane and grab our luggage. After we got our luggage we checked into the airport hotel. It was late and we’d have to wait till the morning for our little adventure. Alex was much better than me with secrets. He asked maybe a handful of questions, but since has stopped and just trusted me. I needed to take more of a cue from him.

“I’m gonna shower,” I said as we entered our hotel room. I dropped my bags at the foot of the bed and took off my coat.

“Me too!” Alex said excitedly taking off his coat and shoes too.

“Fine!” I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

After our shower I felt like a new person. Traveling, especially long distances like we had today always made me feel disgusting and I had to shower once I got to the destination. I put on a t-shirt and underwear and hopped into bed next to Alex. He shut out the light and we were both asleep in minutes.

I woke up the next morning to the alarm I had set. It was 7am and I felt like someone had hit me with a ton of bricks. I was still totally jet lagged. I shouldn’t have slept like I did. I needed to reset my cycle. Alex rolled over and pulled me toward him.

“Five more minutes,” He said sleepily.

“You can have five more minutes, I’m gonna shower and get ready,” I said softly and escaped his grasp.

I took my time in the shower because I was nervous and because I wanted to give Alex time to sleep a little more. I got out of the shower and wrapped my hair in a towel and put on a robe. I went back out into the room and Alex was up and waiting for the bathroom.

“This is killing me, you know that?” He asked seriously.

“I know. It’s killing me too, but we’ll both find out soon enough,” I went took clothes out of my suitcase.

“It’s scary that you seem to not even know what we’re doing,” He shook his head as he got up to go to the bathroom. “But I trust you,” He was quick to add.

It was true, I didn’t even know what we were doing. I only had an idea, a hunch and I just hope that I am right. I just wanted this to be the piece that made everything right in my life. It’s not that everything wasn’t amazing, but this was a piece of my heart that was missing, that I needed to see if I could fill again.

We left the hotel around 9 and got into our rental. I put the address into the GPS and we drove. My heart was beating so fast I was waiting for it to explode out of my chest.

“Michael, can you take a deep breath? Whatever this is that’s making you nervous is making me even more nervous,” He stroked the side of my face with his hand.

“Sorry,” I stuttered and I took a breath to calm myself down. It didn’t really work.

“Do you want me to drive?”

“No, I’m fine. Sorry,” I feigned a smile at him. He didn’t believe me, but rested his hand on my leg and that made me feel a little more at ease.

We drove for about a half an hour until we arrived at our destination. I parked on the side of the road and just sat still gripping the wheel for a bit. Finally, I let it go and unbuckled my seatbelt.

“So, what are we doing here? Is this like a long lost brother or something?” Alex asked as he looked up at a small house on the top of a little hill. We were in a development in the cul-de-sac area.

“I guess I hope its long lost family,” I sighed nervously.

“You okay? We don’t have to do whatever this is,” He said supportively.

“No, I just need to know something,” I forced a smile and I got out of the car. Alex stayed still. “I want you with me,” I said as I opened his door.

“Okay, wasn’t sure if it was something you had to do on your own,” He said as he got out of the car.

“Nope, you’re coming with,” I winked and took his hand.

We walked up the driveway and then the walkway to the door and my palms were definitely sweating. When we got to the door we just stood there. Alex didn’t say a word or tell me to knock on the door, he let me have my moment and then I rang the doorbell. I waited for a bit and then figured no one was home. I didn’t peak in the garage, but there wasn’t a car in the driveway.

“I guess they’re not home,” I said swallowing back some of the anxiety.

“Do you want to wait? Come back in a little bit?”

“Let’s come back in a little bit. We can go get brunch,” I took my hand back and wiped them on my jeans and laughed at Alex because of my anxiety.

“You okay?” He cupped my face gently.

“Yeah, I just worked myself up,” I leaned into his hand and he took his hand off of my face and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and we walked down the driveway.

“It looks like brunch will have to wait,” Alex said as we saw a car start to pull into the driveway.

The car stopped halfway up the driveway and parked. I could see through the window, even with the gleam from the sun that I was right. I broke from Alex’s hold and ran toward the car and the driver’s side door opened too.

“Oh my God I missed you!” I said as I tackled Amy.

Eric had given me the best gift besides him leaving me alone for a bit. He gave me Amy’s address. He knew that Alex had been planning to ask me to marry him. He knew I would have wanted this. To have her see me and see how happy I was.

“How did you find me,” She asked seriously.

“I…I…no one knows,” I said and my heart was lodged in my throat. She was mad that I had found her.

“Someone knows,” She was as white as a ghost.

“Eric. Eric gave me your address,” I had tears welling in my eyes. I didn’t want her to be mad.

“Fucking Eric!” She yelled. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be this way,” She said agitated by the situation. She leaned up against the car and rubbed her temples.

I looked back at Alex who had moved closer, but given me my space. He came to my side and held my hand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think. He didn’t tell me it was you, but I was hoping it was…” I trailed I didn’t want to make it worse.

“No, I’m sorry,” She sighed letting her hands drop to her side.

“Do you think I was followed, is that why you’re upset?” I asked after a long silence.

“No, you’re not being followed by anyone except Eric probably,” She smirked.

“That’s nothing new, he’s been following me for months,” I laughed to ease the tension. “Should we go?”

“No! Don’t leave,” She almost yelled. “Come inside. I just…you know how it is. I’m here undercover still. I’m going by Amelia and doing stuff on the west coast,” She grabbed a grocery bag out of her car and locked it.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t even tell Alex where we were going. I didn’t even tell him Eric gave it to me. I had an idea when I got it, but wasn’t sure, so I told one person, but otherwise kept it to myself,” I sputtered trying to make it all better.

“I swear, I didn’t know,” Alex chimed in and gave me a look as if to say “why didn’t you tell me,”

“I didn’t want you to get mad that Eric reappeared and had never stopped following us,” I answered he look.

“I understand,” He said with a nod.

We followed Amy into her house and she set down the grocery bag and came and gave me a hug.

“I missed you too,” She said as she squeezed me tightly.

“I’m glad that you and Alex finally got together,” Amy smiled as we parted.

“I told Amy all about how I had the biggest crush on you when we were touring,” I admitted.

“Well, obviously, look at me,” Alex shot a look at both of us and it definitely helped to lighten the mood.

“That’s why I had to come see you,” I took a big breath and couldn’t fight the huge smile that overtook my face. “We’re engaged,” I said holding out my hand.

“Oh my! That’s amazing! Congratulations!” She said excitedly as she grabbed my hand to examine the ring. “Good job!” She laughed at Alex.

“I’ve got good taste,” Alex smiled at me.

“I really can’t apologize enough for before,” Amy said hugging me.

“Don’t, it’s fine. I wasn’t thinking,” I assured her. “Oh, and you haven’t officially met yet,” I said thinking about it. It just seemed as though they had met. “Alex this is Amy. Amy this is Alex.” I introduced them. Alex gave her a huge hug.

“Thank you for keeping her alive so I could marry her,” Alex whispered, but I heard him.

“My pleasure,” Amy smiled.

“We haven’t planned anything, it just happened, but I really want you to be there. I know it’s almost impossible, but I wanted you to know that I want you there,” I said moving closer to her.

“It’d be so high profile. I’d be afraid of pictures being taken and all of that. It’s probably not the best,” She said sadly.

“What if we got married in front of a Justice of the Peace right here?” Alex offered after a bit of silence.

“That’s probably something you should discuss in private with Michael, Alex,” Amy laughed.

“No, it’s not. That’s a great idea. We’ll do two weddings!” I smiled at Alex for the idea.

“Don’t do that on my account. Send me pictures and video and It’ll be like I was there!” She suggested, but I could tell that she was hurt that she couldn’t be there with me.

“You were my only friend for the longest time. When Eric told me you were alive…the only thing I could think about was if I’d ever see you again and now I’m here with you. My wedding – our wedding—wouldn’t be complete without you,” I looked to Alex for confirmation and he nodded and came to stand behind me. He put his hands on my shoulders.

“You know I hate all the mushy stuff,” She laughed. “Fine!” She relented and rolled her eyes sarcastically as if it were a burden.

“Excellent!” I hugged her tightly. I felt Alex come and hug both of us too.

“Yeah!” Alex shouted happily and Amy and I both laughed.

After a few hours with Amy and catching up with her Alex and I left. He was excited that he had finally met her and was throwing ideas out left and right to make things work for her to be a part of our wedding. Alex didn’t even consult me, but it was fine, he had amazing ideas and just wanted her to be a part of it for me too.

“You were an idea machine today,” I smiled rolling my head on the head rest of my seat to look at him as he drove.

“That is my middle name,” He winked.

“Thank you…for everything,” I took his one hand in mine.

“I didn’t do anything,” He laughed.

“You did everything. You’re amazing!” I gushed.

“Anything to make you happy. To see you light up today made my day…my life,” He kissed my hand that was in his.

“You make me happy and I love you,” I squeezed his hand a bit.

“I love you too,” He smiled and turned back to driving.

Things were actually normal for me; normal for an average person and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I had found love, luck and friends after thinking I’d be dead sooner than I would have any of the aforementioned. But, I wasn’t dead, I was completely alive and completely whole again. Who knew my tragedy would actually bring me love? It brought me love tenfold and I was grateful for the chance to start over again. Today was the real first day of my new life and I was excited for the adventures ahead.