You're Strangers We Know Well, and Not at All.
Squeaky Robot Sex, Dammit.
Welcome to the year 2012. Lots of things have changed, let me tell you that! A freak accident occurred at some random time that I don’t recall and we all turned into half robots and had squeaky robot sex and made robot babies! Mibba overtook MySpace therefore those preppy type peoples tried to pick up a pencil and due to trying to think too hard, they all spontaneously combusted. Damn. Oh, and the best news of all? Gabe Saporta flew to New Zealand and wanted to become Prime Minister, so he had a booty shaking contest against Helen Clark, which he obviously won, so therefore he became the best looking prime minister ever and even changed the New Zealand national anthem to Guilty Pleasure. He also married William Beckett, drool fest much, and they had millions of gorgeous babies and lots of totally hot-
“Tristen! You are supposed to be telling our story, and it didn’t even involve robots or preppy people! The truth remember!”
“Alright Al, keep your pants on, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, got it!”
Ahem. As I was saying, they had hot, passionate sex on every surface they coul-
“Tristen!!”
Okay, fine. So it all started on the second to last day of school. The last of school for our entire lives! Woah, scary I know. I mean, in two days time, we were going to be unleashed on the unsuspecting public. Run for your lives, people, run! Yes, so we were all sitting in the back of French class, having a deep, intellectual, meaningful discussion that impacted my life forever.
“I’m telling you, a Gabarez is totally hotter than a Gabilliam!” Ally-Layla argued, poking her tongue out at me, as I did it back.
“Na-uh, I’m sorry Gabilliam owns all other slashes, even Rydon!” I retorted, throwing my half destroyed French book at her with a smirk.
“Don’t even go there!”
“I just did!”
“Well come back!” Isabella chimed in and we both stopped to stare at her.
“What? I haven’t said anything in a while...” She pouted and turned to throw a piece of paper across the room that happened to hit Mr Fitzgerald, who had probably been watching some kind of porn on his laptop. He turned around and glared at Isabella who pointed at me.
“Isabella, don’t waste paper! Jeez, give it to Ben... actually I think he gets enough already...” Mr Fitzgerald trailed off, looking at Ben who was halfway through devouring my French exercise book.
“And why- wait, are you even in this class?” He asked, looking at Ally-Layla.
“Uh, does Isabella have a penis?” She asked with a smile. Mr Fitzgerald just looked confused.
“Oh, I’m sorry; I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest. In other words, no. I’m just here for the thrills and the cheap hookers.” Ally-Layla studied her nails nonchalantly.
“Oh, well...carry on then...” Mr Fitz mumbled, going back to his porn, or investing in deodorant, one of the two.
“So, who do you reckon would be the bitch in the relationship, Gabe or Nate?”
“Nate!”
“You are so going down for that!”
-X-
“It’s....” I took a deep breath and began to scream. “Waffle time, its waffle time, won’t you have some waffles of mine?!” I skipped down the road, pulling Ally-Layla and Isabella with me as we neared our sweet little three-bedroom apartment, that smelt like old people and rainbows. Home sweet home. As we turned into our driveway, we saw a moving van being loaded up ready to be driven away.
“Mrs. Burto is leaving?!” Isabella cried out.
“Looks that way, stupid,” Ally-Layla said, smacking Isabella on the back of the head.
“I liked her, she was a nice old bat,” I muttered with a smirk as Isabella rubbed the back of her head and cursed in Italian.
“Only because you and Isabella convinced her to leave fresh cookies on her back doorstep or else the illegal pirate ninjas would come and attack her, and steal her socks,” Ally-Layla said with a bored expression as Isabella and I giggled at the memory.
“Okay, so we did lie... I’m a damn illegal pirate ninja!” I screamed.
“Those cookies were so damn good!”
“Are we done being stupid?” Ally-Layla asked in a sweet tone, and we looked at each other.
“Hell to the no!”
“Oh mother trucker, I have to go to work, I’ll be back later for your birthday cake. Mmm cake.” Isabella chucked her back toward me and began to run down the road, looking strangely like a turtle. Hmm, who would have known it was possible to run like a turtle?! The adventures of super Turtle girl, dah dah dah dahhhhhh!
Oh right. Yeah, that day also happened to be Ally-Layla and mines eighteenth birthday, argh we are getting old! We weren’t related, might as well be though, but we share a birthday because we are just cool like that.
“Stop thinking, you are going to hurt yourself. Now, let’s go and eat all the cupcakes before Isabella gets back!” Ally-Layla said, dragging me along the grass, laughing her ass off at her own offensive joke. She was the only one laughing.
-X-
“I’m backkkkk. Did you miss me? Don’t answer that. Oh and I found this outside so I brought it in,” Isabella announced, flicking off her shoes, one managed to hit me in the forehead.
“I am not an it, I am a she!” Announced Paige, walking in with a smirk.
“How can we be so sure? Swimming anyone?” Isabella wiggled her eyes as Paige tried to move away. “Anyway, the reason I was late was because my dad had to have a five minute rant because I zoned out while serving a customer. But that wasn’t my fault, there was a little cheesy pizza that started dancing in my head, singing ‘I’m a cheesy, cheesy pizza and you want a slice of me!’ Damn myself for working in a pizza shop with so many distracting pizzas!” Isabella ranted, doing a little dancing that we assumed was how the pizza was dancing. Or something like that.
Awkward silence.
“GIANT POLAR BEAR!” Everyone looked at me. “Just breaking the ice...”
“Anywhores, happy birthday you two! How does it feel to be uber old?” Paige asked with a smirk. Ally-Layla and I looked at one another; grabbing the nearest pillows and throwing them at Paige, making her fall back onto Isabella, her screaming like a man.
“Soooo birthday cake?!” Paige asked excitedly, jumping up off Isabella. That sounds so dodgy, don’t go Google that shit.
“Yay! To the kitchen and beyond!” I jumped up on the couch, about to attempt to ‘fly’ all the way to the kitchen.
“Don’t try this at home kids,” Ally-Layla muttered just before I jumped.
“Try it at your grandma’s house!” Paige said as I jumped.
“Wheeeee.... OWIE!” I yelled as I landed on one of Isabella’s many stupid pizza key rings.
“FORNICATION!” Isabella yelled, causing us all to look at her. “Now that I have your attention, I can’t get up!”
“No one gives a seventy-five cent whore what you can’t do, Isabella,” I said with a laugh, but helping her up anyway.
“Presents!” Ally-Layla screamed, jumping around the room.
“Cake first!” Paige screamed back at her, pulling out a huge ice cream cake from the freezer. Isabella picked up a lighter to light the candle, note there is no plural, ah the perks of having cheap ass friends, and Ally-Layla swiftly grabbed it off her.
“Last time, I nearly lost my hair when you handled this baby. Never again!” She said, lighting the candle, and nearly setting the cake on fire.
“Happy birth-BEEP if it is illegal to have Happy Birthday sung on film if you haven’t paid money, is it illegal to have it in stories? Never the less, we already have a long-ass list full with illegal shit we have done, we don’t have room for another, so please wait while the celebration continues.-
...
“Okay, blow out your candles and make a wish!” Paige yelled as Ally-Layla and I turned to each other and ‘read each other’s minds’. Ohhhhh.
“We wish... THAT GABE SAPORTA AND WILLIAM BECKETT MOVED IN NEXT DOOR!”
-X-
“Oh my gosh, Tristen! Get your lard-ass outta bed, and come see this!” Ally-Layla screamed, running into my room and jumping on the bed.
“Al, isn’t it a little too early for you to be stupid?”
“I’m only ignoring that cos I’m so freaking excited! Come on, get up, seriously!” She whined, pulling my covers off.
“What is it?”
“You have to see who is moving in next door!”
“The pope?”
“No.”
“Then I’m not interested.”
Ally-Layla, with her freakish upper body strength and all, lifted, yes that’s right, lifted me from my bed and threw me onto the floor.
“Alright, alright, I’m up. Now show me so I can go back to bed!” I groaned, walking over to Ally-Layla’s room. As soon as I saw out her window, out into the backyard of old Mrs. Burto’s used-to-be property, I nearly died.
“You have got to be kidding me!”
“No way! God loves us too much to do that to us!”
“Is that... really...oh my gosh, he took of his top. The New Zealand heat must be getting to him,” I sighed along with Ally-Layla.
“He is so hot...”
“He can put his cobra in my starship any damn day he wants...” I muttered with a smirk.
“No matter how dodgy that was, I totally agree. This is too good to be true.”
So, what had us imagining dodgy things and fawning like two underage teenies at a Jonas Brothers concert? The only guys in the world that can make us do just that. Because there in front of us, was a shirtless Gabe Saporta and a lanky William Beckett, moving in next door.
“Tristen! You are supposed to be telling our story, and it didn’t even involve robots or preppy people! The truth remember!”
“Alright Al, keep your pants on, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, got it!”
Ahem. As I was saying, they had hot, passionate sex on every surface they coul-
“Tristen!!”
Okay, fine. So it all started on the second to last day of school. The last of school for our entire lives! Woah, scary I know. I mean, in two days time, we were going to be unleashed on the unsuspecting public. Run for your lives, people, run! Yes, so we were all sitting in the back of French class, having a deep, intellectual, meaningful discussion that impacted my life forever.
“I’m telling you, a Gabarez is totally hotter than a Gabilliam!” Ally-Layla argued, poking her tongue out at me, as I did it back.
“Na-uh, I’m sorry Gabilliam owns all other slashes, even Rydon!” I retorted, throwing my half destroyed French book at her with a smirk.
“Don’t even go there!”
“I just did!”
“Well come back!” Isabella chimed in and we both stopped to stare at her.
“What? I haven’t said anything in a while...” She pouted and turned to throw a piece of paper across the room that happened to hit Mr Fitzgerald, who had probably been watching some kind of porn on his laptop. He turned around and glared at Isabella who pointed at me.
“Isabella, don’t waste paper! Jeez, give it to Ben... actually I think he gets enough already...” Mr Fitzgerald trailed off, looking at Ben who was halfway through devouring my French exercise book.
“And why- wait, are you even in this class?” He asked, looking at Ally-Layla.
“Uh, does Isabella have a penis?” She asked with a smile. Mr Fitzgerald just looked confused.
“Oh, I’m sorry; I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest. In other words, no. I’m just here for the thrills and the cheap hookers.” Ally-Layla studied her nails nonchalantly.
“Oh, well...carry on then...” Mr Fitz mumbled, going back to his porn, or investing in deodorant, one of the two.
“So, who do you reckon would be the bitch in the relationship, Gabe or Nate?”
“Nate!”
“You are so going down for that!”
-X-
“It’s....” I took a deep breath and began to scream. “Waffle time, its waffle time, won’t you have some waffles of mine?!” I skipped down the road, pulling Ally-Layla and Isabella with me as we neared our sweet little three-bedroom apartment, that smelt like old people and rainbows. Home sweet home. As we turned into our driveway, we saw a moving van being loaded up ready to be driven away.
“Mrs. Burto is leaving?!” Isabella cried out.
“Looks that way, stupid,” Ally-Layla said, smacking Isabella on the back of the head.
“I liked her, she was a nice old bat,” I muttered with a smirk as Isabella rubbed the back of her head and cursed in Italian.
“Only because you and Isabella convinced her to leave fresh cookies on her back doorstep or else the illegal pirate ninjas would come and attack her, and steal her socks,” Ally-Layla said with a bored expression as Isabella and I giggled at the memory.
“Okay, so we did lie... I’m a damn illegal pirate ninja!” I screamed.
“Those cookies were so damn good!”
“Are we done being stupid?” Ally-Layla asked in a sweet tone, and we looked at each other.
“Hell to the no!”
“Oh mother trucker, I have to go to work, I’ll be back later for your birthday cake. Mmm cake.” Isabella chucked her back toward me and began to run down the road, looking strangely like a turtle. Hmm, who would have known it was possible to run like a turtle?! The adventures of super Turtle girl, dah dah dah dahhhhhh!
Oh right. Yeah, that day also happened to be Ally-Layla and mines eighteenth birthday, argh we are getting old! We weren’t related, might as well be though, but we share a birthday because we are just cool like that.
“Stop thinking, you are going to hurt yourself. Now, let’s go and eat all the cupcakes before Isabella gets back!” Ally-Layla said, dragging me along the grass, laughing her ass off at her own offensive joke. She was the only one laughing.
-X-
“I’m backkkkk. Did you miss me? Don’t answer that. Oh and I found this outside so I brought it in,” Isabella announced, flicking off her shoes, one managed to hit me in the forehead.
“I am not an it, I am a she!” Announced Paige, walking in with a smirk.
“How can we be so sure? Swimming anyone?” Isabella wiggled her eyes as Paige tried to move away. “Anyway, the reason I was late was because my dad had to have a five minute rant because I zoned out while serving a customer. But that wasn’t my fault, there was a little cheesy pizza that started dancing in my head, singing ‘I’m a cheesy, cheesy pizza and you want a slice of me!’ Damn myself for working in a pizza shop with so many distracting pizzas!” Isabella ranted, doing a little dancing that we assumed was how the pizza was dancing. Or something like that.
Awkward silence.
“GIANT POLAR BEAR!” Everyone looked at me. “Just breaking the ice...”
“Anywhores, happy birthday you two! How does it feel to be uber old?” Paige asked with a smirk. Ally-Layla and I looked at one another; grabbing the nearest pillows and throwing them at Paige, making her fall back onto Isabella, her screaming like a man.
“Soooo birthday cake?!” Paige asked excitedly, jumping up off Isabella. That sounds so dodgy, don’t go Google that shit.
“Yay! To the kitchen and beyond!” I jumped up on the couch, about to attempt to ‘fly’ all the way to the kitchen.
“Don’t try this at home kids,” Ally-Layla muttered just before I jumped.
“Try it at your grandma’s house!” Paige said as I jumped.
“Wheeeee.... OWIE!” I yelled as I landed on one of Isabella’s many stupid pizza key rings.
“FORNICATION!” Isabella yelled, causing us all to look at her. “Now that I have your attention, I can’t get up!”
“No one gives a seventy-five cent whore what you can’t do, Isabella,” I said with a laugh, but helping her up anyway.
“Presents!” Ally-Layla screamed, jumping around the room.
“Cake first!” Paige screamed back at her, pulling out a huge ice cream cake from the freezer. Isabella picked up a lighter to light the candle, note there is no plural, ah the perks of having cheap ass friends, and Ally-Layla swiftly grabbed it off her.
“Last time, I nearly lost my hair when you handled this baby. Never again!” She said, lighting the candle, and nearly setting the cake on fire.
“Happy birth-BEEP if it is illegal to have Happy Birthday sung on film if you haven’t paid money, is it illegal to have it in stories? Never the less, we already have a long-ass list full with illegal shit we have done, we don’t have room for another, so please wait while the celebration continues.-
...
“Okay, blow out your candles and make a wish!” Paige yelled as Ally-Layla and I turned to each other and ‘read each other’s minds’. Ohhhhh.
“We wish... THAT GABE SAPORTA AND WILLIAM BECKETT MOVED IN NEXT DOOR!”
-X-
“Oh my gosh, Tristen! Get your lard-ass outta bed, and come see this!” Ally-Layla screamed, running into my room and jumping on the bed.
“Al, isn’t it a little too early for you to be stupid?”
“I’m only ignoring that cos I’m so freaking excited! Come on, get up, seriously!” She whined, pulling my covers off.
“What is it?”
“You have to see who is moving in next door!”
“The pope?”
“No.”
“Then I’m not interested.”
Ally-Layla, with her freakish upper body strength and all, lifted, yes that’s right, lifted me from my bed and threw me onto the floor.
“Alright, alright, I’m up. Now show me so I can go back to bed!” I groaned, walking over to Ally-Layla’s room. As soon as I saw out her window, out into the backyard of old Mrs. Burto’s used-to-be property, I nearly died.
“You have got to be kidding me!”
“No way! God loves us too much to do that to us!”
“Is that... really...oh my gosh, he took of his top. The New Zealand heat must be getting to him,” I sighed along with Ally-Layla.
“He is so hot...”
“He can put his cobra in my starship any damn day he wants...” I muttered with a smirk.
“No matter how dodgy that was, I totally agree. This is too good to be true.”
So, what had us imagining dodgy things and fawning like two underage teenies at a Jonas Brothers concert? The only guys in the world that can make us do just that. Because there in front of us, was a shirtless Gabe Saporta and a lanky William Beckett, moving in next door.
♠ ♠ ♠
:]I'm so excited for this. Well, here is the dealio. My best friend Heliena (xRestless.Reckless.x) and I were talking about how crazy it would be if Gabe and Will moved to New Zealand and lived next door to us, and then, bam, we hit inspiration! Whoo, so this is our shared story and it's our baby so treat it nicely :] The chapters won't all be this long!
...Yes my French teacher needs deodorant, my friend runs like a turtle and Ben ate half of my French book. Don't ask, its safer just to move on. And sorry for the picture of our prime minister, it was kinda necessary. And if you don't know where New Zealand is, shoot yourself in the foot then hop all the way to an atlas. Jerk.
Opinions would be greatly loved! :]