Keeping Secrets In Can Cause Tumors, You Know

I felt myself come out of the longest dream I have ever had. It seemed like I was still in the dream as I heard a faint beeping to my left. I tried to open my eyes, but failed. The only thing I could do was breathe. I felt so weak. I used as much force as I could and managed to open my eyes slowly. I looked around the dull, white room. Right then, my heart skipped. Hospital? I wanted to know what the hell I was going in a hospital.

I noticed a small movement by my hand and looked down to see Mikayla sleeping while holding onto my hand. “Kay?” I said weakly.

She moved a little more before she lifted her head up to me. “Oh my, God!” she said before standing up and giving me a hug.

I tried to hug her back as she let go and smiled. I noticed the dark bags under her eyes and her red nose. “Mikayla,” I said, managing to get my voice partially back, “could you please tell me what the hell is going on?”

She looked down and quickly said, “I’m going to go tell everyone you’re awake.” She quickly left my side and ran out of the room.

I looked around once more. I’ve been in one of these rooms before. It’s the ICU. My grandma was in here right before she died. Died… I thought to myself. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Everything seemed okay in my life. Why would I need intensive care?

“Amber,” my mom said as I looked to my right and noticed her standing by the door. She walked closer and I noticed she had tissues in her left hand and that she looked worse than Mikayla. “Baby, do you feel alright?” she asked a little shakily.

I nodded. “Mama, what’s happening?”

She quickly put the tissues up to her face and started sobbing. I felt the urge to cry, but I noticed I had to be the strong one here.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” my mom said before she quickly ran out of the room.

I closed my eyes in anger. Why can’t anyone just tell me why the fuck I’m in a hospital?! “Ms. Amber?” a man said as he came in slowly. He was the only decent looking person I have seen in a full five minutes. “Are you feeling okay?”

I decided to not lie. I usually did when it came to doctors. “I feel really weak, like I could barely open my eyes. And the light is giving me a major headache.”

He nodded as he walked over to the front of my bed and picked up a chart, writing something on it. “I would like to introduce myself. I am Dr. Weaver. Now, baby, what I’m about to tell you is never easy.”

I held in a deep breath as I watched him slowly walk over to my chair and take a seat. I feel like I’m in a fucking soap opera! “Amber, are you familiar with brain tumors?”

I didn’t speak. I laid there, staring at him. “No,” I silently said.

He looked down and thought for a second before looking up. “Basically, a brain tumor is an abnormal growth of cells within the brain or inside the skull, which can be cancerous or non-cancerous.”

I stared at him. “So, I have a brain tumor?”

He nodded, but still spoke. “Yes, it’s not a major thing, but, as I said, they can cause cancer.”

I took a long, deep breath as I felt my heart speed up. “So, I have… cancer.” I didn’t even have to ask.

He nodded slowly. “I’m incredibly sorry, Amber. You’re signs were almost not there. I have to tell you something, incredibly important.” I looked down and nodded my head for him to go on. “We caught the cancer a little late.”

I looked up immediately. “What do you mean a little late?!”

“Amber, calm down,” he said. I bit my bottom lip. “I mean…” he took in a long deep breath, “Amber, you have 17% chance of surviving the cancer.” I just loved how he dropped the news of my possible death on me like an atomic bomb.

I looked away and closed my eyes. No. This can’t be fucking happening. I can’t have a tumor. This is a nightmare. Yoohoo! Mom! Come wake me up for school, please! “How long?” I asked.

“Excuse me?”

“How long do I have to live, if I don’t survive this cancer?!” I demanded.

I looked back at him. “It varies, really. We think right now only about 3 weeks. Depending on if your body reacts good or badly to the cancer.”

I shook my head. “When can I go home?”

“We have to run a few more tests, just to make sure nothing new has popped up. After that, your parents are free to take you home,” he said before patting my hand and standing up. “You are coming back in about two days, though. I’m going to let you have about thirty more minutes with the rest of your friends and family before we run the tests.”

“Friends?” I asked.

He nodded and said, “Yes, four boys and their parents are also here.”

I smiled as I felt some tears build up in my eyes. “Can you send them in?”

“Absolutely, Ms. Amber.” He walked out and I put my hands to my face, hoping it would stop the dam of tears that were about to break.

“No,” I whispered to myself. “This cannot be happening. Oh, my God! Please, let me-“

“Hey, Amber!” Frankie yelled. I looked to my right and wiped away a few stray tears. He ran up to my bed.

“Frankie, be careful!” Mrs. Denise warned as Mr. Paul and her walked in. I smiled.

“Hey, Frankster.”

I patted the open spot on my bed as I tried to push myself up. I failed and let my head drop back down to the pillow. “Need help?”

I saw Kevin walking over to my bed. I smiled a toothy grin. “Thanks that would good.”

He hoisted me up so I was sitting in Indian style. Kevin helped Frankie jump and sit on the bed also. “Amber,” Mrs. Denise said as she walked over to me, “we have been praying for you.”

I smiled and said, “Thank you guys.”

“You’re the daughter I’ve never had,” Mr. Paul said patting my head. “I know how you play. I know you can push through this.”

“I’ll try,” I said jokingly. I noticed Joe had walked in, but not a sign of Nick. “Uhm… where’s Nick?”

“Oh, Amber, he is going to wait for you when you come back home. He has been taking the news worst of all of us, even worse than your mother.” I was shocked. “He told us that he couldn’t see you in a hospital bed like this. But, Amber, he really does care about you a lot.”

I nodded. “It’s fine.” The one person who can make my life worth while at this moment is not here. Wonderful.

“Amber!” my dad said as he ran in. He pushed through everybody and gave me a big hug. When he let go I took a look at him and saw he looked as bad as my mother. “I’m so sorry!”

“Dad, this is not your fault!” I said. He started crying.

“No!” he said taking a seat. He put his head in his hands. I’ve never seen my dad this emotional before. “I could have prevented this! I should have taken you to those appointments instead of being a lazy ass! I put my daughter’s life in danger!” Mr. Paul walked up behind him and caringly rubbed his arms.

“Johnathan, don’t go blaming yourself!” Mrs. Denise said. “This is God’s plan, not yours! If he made this happen, it’s nothing you did.”

“Guys,” I said. Everyone looked at me, including my dad. “I promise you… I’m going to fight my hardest… since my life depends on it… to make it through this cancer. And if I do end up…” I couldn’t even think of dying yet. My birthday was in a month. I didn’t even get to have my sweet sixteen yet. I was determined to not let my life end now. “If I do die… the last thing I want is for all of you to mourn and cry over me. As you can see, life can be so short. Spend it to the fullest! Don’t waste time over me!”

I smiled reassuringly. Joe walked over and hugged me. I could feel the tears from his cheeks seep through my hospital gown. “I’m going to be rooting for you, Amberkinz,” Joe said as he released. He wiped at his eyes and kissed my cheek. “And I think I jinxed you.” I raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Well, you obviously have a secret! That’s why you got a tumor.”

“Joseph!” his mom scolded.

I laughed and surprised everyone. “Thanks, Joe. I’m going to remember to haunt you.”

“Stop making this like it’s nothing,” my dad slowly said. “Jokes are not necessary… not in a time like this.”

“Dad, lighten up! You should know me! I hate serious moments!” I noticed my headache was gone and I was much stronger and I could talk much more clearly now.

He got up and walked out of the room. I never thought my dad would be taking it this hard.

I never thought Nick would be taking it this hard.

I remembered what Joe had just said. ”Well, you obviously have a secret! That’s why you got a tumor.”

I laughed to myself as everyone was in their own conversations. I’m going to laugh if Joe is right.